The song is lovely, and Inuyasha and Kagome's circumstances fit it well. However, I couldn't decipher your own story from the song all that well. I believe I only read two paragraphs at the most that were from Kagome's own words.
Lovely idea, however, I would very much enjoy more text from your own thoughts.
Thank you for Sharing~
Maru (Chapter 1) - Sun 28 Dec 2008
| Interesting songfic! I saw someone said you could use bold and not and to help distinguish between the two... also, you could make anything from the story aligned left and the lyrics aligned center to differentiate. That might help. If you add a bit more to the story it will flesh it out more... though its good just the way it is. Nice job! keep up the good work! .. Maru
Nefret (Chapter 1) - Sun 28 Dec 2008
Kudos to you for sticking your neck out there with this -- I haven't seen many songfics floating around lately. It was a little bit difficult to distinguish between the story and the lyrics though (especially since I'm not familiar with the song), but that could easily be fixed with a quick re-format. If you un-bolded the story text, it'd probably be a bit easier on your readers.
I did, however, really enjoy the way you interwove the emotion in the lyrics with Kagome's feelings. Interesting interplay.
Thanks for sharing! =)
Nefret.
Nobody (Chapter 1) - Sun 28 Dec 2008
Interesting, its not often that you see things like this. Thanks for this beautiful piece.
| it is a good song, although i do suggest that you have a change in font with the song lyrics and the story make it easier for the reader
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