I forgot to say, the authors notes at the end are fine just in the middle it disrupst flow. I love the boys interaction in this chapter. You do really well with dialogue. Too fun. ANd dont worry about steeling the eyes description we all do it. I wonder if there is another way.

Her eyes looked like the most treated pool water he had ever seen

She felt like she was staring at two beautiful lemons.

<.< um i dont know if that has the same effect

Oh an AN- is an authors note. Its when you describe something and usually put it in brackets. LOL i loved this chapter. I can imagine her yelling at the statue. TOo funny

HA! Richer than god LMFAO! Too too funny. I like where you are going with this. THe double identity thing really works well. Great job! Until next time.

I love your kagome and your dialogue is flippin hilarious. Awesome job!

OK, that one was a little different. But did well. My only suggestion i sthat an's really throw off a reader and mess with flow in my personal opinion. "Yeah.... I guess you can say that…" Kagome shot her a look through the corner of her lens-covered eye as the wind whooshed by their hair (the car's one of those open-roof ones). it that paragraph maybe instead of adding an AN you could add a sentence explaining it. LOL i like the idea of a bunch of posters welcoming them.

I love your description of KAgome, i think i dressed like that in highschool AND THE HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA! AWESOME! Are you from Canada? Cause if so you know how it is. YAY CANUCKS! Also im not sure if this is a typo but you called their father toukai and toudai i might have missed why. But i liked it very much.

I liked it. Your writing style is quick and thats my favorite. Great job especially for a first fic. You should have seen mine it was a disaster! Ok on to the next one!