FayeMegan (Chapter 1) - Thu 26 Nov 2015

This is as great story! very hot, will definitely read again :3


Silverblossom (Chapter 1) - Fri 09 Oct 2015

wow this was one smexy one shot! Love it! It was filled with so much emotions and I love the pace. You are a really good writer!


Prayer (Chapter 1) - Tue 09 Jul 2013

Oh.

My.

God.

 

this is simply amazing. I REALLY need a cold shower now.

 

a GIGANTIC thanks for this great story!!!!!!


nerine (Chapter 1) - Fri 24 Jul 2009
Awesome story loved it!

katlady (Chapter 1) - Sat 20 Jun 2009

this  is a  really good  story  its  really too good to be a one shot  there are  some  minor  errors  but hey I have thoses  too

more then  the nore cause my gramer sucks and I can not  keep a beta for  the life of me.  :Girns evily: I am a bit of a slave driver  :laughs evily:  please add another chapter  or  do sequal soon


Koimiko (Chapter 1) - Sun 22 Mar 2009
(Turns on the fan and opens the window) HOTT!!! wow great jon though like Kagome i don't think that's the kind of thanks her mother was talking about. But wow GREAT JOB!! Hospitality is now my top favorite oneshot.

Sessygurl (Chapter 1) - Thu 12 Mar 2009
Wow! The was incredible! I loved every moment of it. I can't wait till the sequel. I know he will not be able to just let her go so easily.

katlady (Chapter 1) - Thu 12 Mar 2009

AHAHAH THAT  WAS   GOOOD  YOU  SHOULD  SO  DO A SEQUAL


SilentlyFuming (Chapter 1) - Wed 11 Mar 2009
oh wow ... pleasepleaseplease make a sequel

addiesmoon (Chapter 1) - Tue 10 Mar 2009
i would love an other chapter like the day after stuff do they continue to see each and who did yasha go out with what would he said or do if he found kagome at his bothers house maybe more then one chapter i just love this story. thanks for a great read just before bed

Sandy (Chapter 1) - Mon 09 Mar 2009
that was a really good story i loved it. the only problem is your grammer. there are a lot of mistakes. but otherwise{sp?} it was really good. Keep up the writing i love your stories Sandy; wolfluver91@aol.com

Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Mon 09 Mar 2009

i like this story and i hope that you will write a continuation to it, but i wonder is english your first language? there were several times you used words that didn't quite make sense, they were easy to figure out, but it happened through the whole story. I'm not criticizing you or anything, anyone who can write a 36 page chapter and have it turn out this good should be comended, but i would suggest getting a second beta to read over your work, it never hurts to have a second set of eyes look over it. And with that i take my leave with the ardent wish that you will contine on with this lovely story...later!!


mimi (Chapter 1) - Mon 09 Mar 2009
Oh that is by far the best one-shot I've read! Other than some spellin misshaps it was perfect! U hafta do a sequel but a chapter story after they wake up! Love it hope u do a sequel! mimi

inali (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009
is English your first language? some of your word choices are kind of awkward, almost like someone translating the piece from another language to English. If you aren't a native speaker, I'd recommend finding a native speaker to beta, and help keep your original connotations intact. it's a really cute story, overall, just needs a little extra beta TLC.

pauly (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009

Continuación, continuación !!!!! Increíble trabajo :)


Inkasha Taisho (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009

Woah that was wonderful. I mean just wawow~~ The intensity between them was really capture. You did have a few errors but nothing to take away from the overall affect. I really enjoyed reading this story.


sesshys_jaded_samuri (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009

First things first, I liked your story.  It has a lot of potential if you ever decide to add to it.  I hope that you do.  It was interesting and exciting, and I would like to see more.   BUT, you seem to have some grammar issues.  Your sentence structure needs some work.  And there are way too many instances where you used words that may seem similar to what you intended, but were not the correct choice.

Example: "He then inspired deeply, his nose immediately detecting the change: a slight musk scent complementing perfectly her already beautiful scent."

You used the word 'inspired' when it is obvious that you meant 'inhaled'.  It happens rather often in this story.  These are things that should have been caught by a beta.

I don't want you to take this review as me being mean or flaming you, because frankly, I do not do that type of thing.  If the story is crap, I don't review.  I took the time to review because your story is solid and you have potential.  I am offering some consturctive critcism. 

 


Tweechie (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009
a sequel would be an AWESOME idea. This was a great story.

Kagome1616 (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009
I think a sequel is a brilliant idea!! I absoulutley loved it and wanna know what happens after they wake up! It was really funny too how at the end Kagome said " It’s just…I don’t think that it was what my mother had in mind when she said to me to thank you for your hospitality", thats most definietly not what her mother had in mind..hehe oh well.. Please write a sequel! This story was super HOT!!

Dominik Journot (Chapter 1) - Sun 08 Mar 2009
Oh my frigging fucking God, that was breath-takingly perfect, PLEASE continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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