Your idea is good but needs more development.  Slow down and give details and reasons for your characters actions. There were also some spelling and grammar issues and you changed tense a couple of times.  Getting a beta would help.  All authors benefit from getting another perspective.  This story has a lot of potential, I hope you will continue it.

"I will never. Be. A memory,"....hmmm, sounds like what Sephiroth says to Cloud in FF7 Advent Children...if that is where you got it from, it should be credited.

There are a couple of spelling and sentence structure errors, nothing another pair of eyes couldn't catch. Try and stay away from the all caps - there are far better ways to describe someone yelling than to just type it like that. It makes it very hard on the eyes to read.The story seemed a little rushed: from battle, to her saving, her yelling, their admissions and them sleeping. It would make for a much better story, if you paced the story out by focusing a little more on the details. The idea has merit, just needs to be polished.

A few issues to deal with that would help make this story a very enjoyable read.  Try to never use words or sentences in all caps, it is very distracting to readers and really takes away from the story itself.  Few spelling issues such as 'toghether' instead of together.  And some of your sentences are too short, which takes away from your otherwise good job on details, try combining some of the shorter ones in the future.  Other than that, it's a very nice one-shot :).

AWW! That was very cute, and I totally loved it! The desparation for the love..How romantic! *giggles like a fangirl*

You did and amazing job!

Ok first off you have a great idea going here, but your follow through left something to be desired. Throughout the whole story you seem to rush through the details, details make the whole story. I was confused as to where they actually were, you were never clear about a location, and it seemed like wherever they were the location never changed, so shouldn't they have been worried that Naraku would show back up at any moment? You should also try to avoid writing whole sentences in capital letters, it is distracting and makes it hard to focus on the surrounding text. There were also some spelling and gramatical errors, but that is nothing a beta won't be be able to help you iron out.  Now don't take all of this badly, like I said you have an exellent idea going for you here, if you slow down and focus on you detail work the rest should fall into place.

I was a little confused throughout this...is it canon? At one point it seemed like it, but then it did not. Was she fighting Naraku in her own house? In Sesshoumaru's? If she was that injured, wouldn't she need medical attention? I think that you should expand this and clarify, because I did spend a lot of time being confused. I think that you used isolation as a theme here, but maybe you should try to find a thesarus (sp?) for some synonyms. I definately do that, it is very helpful, especially when using something as a central theme.

You used a lot of capitalized words here, and you should probably avoid that...it is off-putting, and it doesn't help at all. Use your words to emphasize your point, not your font. There were some spelling and grammatical errors, but nothing a good beta couldn't handle. Try not to rush through the story, pace yourself, set up the scene in your head and write it out, step by step.  I think you have talent, so keep up the good work...if writing is something you enjoy, go for it! Take your time...there is no need to rush.