Scherherazade (Chapter 1) - Thu 18 Mar 2010

A very good start to what sounds like an interesting story.  I've never seen the movie myself but as long as you are just taking the general idea and making it your own there shouldn't be a problem.  I didn't understand how or why they were scamming the pawn shop.  What were they hoping to accomplish by doing so?  Does it somehow tie into their efforts to keep their dog with them?  

You have an interesting story here, I hope you continue it.


Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Wed 17 Mar 2010

Well this is a great start, I haven't seen the movie, but that doesn't matter really since you are only following the general idea of said movie. You did really well on your descriptions, spelling, grammar, ect. I am very eager to see where you go with this and I will be faving it!


Angelicatt (Chapter 1) - Wed 17 Mar 2010

A great start to a truly interesting storyline. I have never seen the movie but your detailed descriptions do a fine job of covering up the gaps. Some minor issues that a beta could certainly help out with but just keep up with your steady pace and spacing, don't forget to explain exactly what happened 3yrs ago and I can't wait to see the introduction of Sess.


Stacerue (Chapter 1) - Tue 16 Mar 2010

Wonderful start. I really think you should continue. I haven't seen the movie but I really would like to see where you take this. It was very well-written and descriptive. Keep up the wonderful work!


beckyducky (Chapter 1) - Tue 16 Mar 2010

Okay, ducky here!! You have a starting point that can make for a truly wonderful fic.  The descriptions…etc. were wonderful.  I like the idea that Kagome and Souta are together in foster homes.  I think some fics make light of how close the actual siblings are.  Souta is normally the one peering down into the well, wondering about his sister – not Mama nor Jiji. 

The last sentence just sent chills down my spine.  Absolutely flawless cliffhanger.  We all know sessh is going to be in the fic.  The question is how? 

Just watch for some minor mistakes here and there.  Get a beta because you’ll get to have a spellchecker/grammar detective/awkward sentence constable/idea pal. 

Keep on writing!

ducky out!


Sessylove219 (Chapter 1) - Mon 15 Mar 2010

Well, I didn't see Hotel for Dogs, so I don't really know where this was going, but it seems like mechanically (spelling and grammar and flow) wise, you are doing a fine job. I hope you keep up with your writing. Good luck!


Hairann (Chapter 1) - Mon 15 Mar 2010

This is a great job starting the story and I don't think it was slow at all, you gave just enough detail and storyline to not leave too many questions, but at the same time, leaving readers wondering. I really think you should continue this story as there are so many places you can take it. Grammar and everything was nicely done, though I'd recommend instead of doing this '(along with his blood pressure)' put that in commas, it's less disruptive of the flow. If you keep this rated T, I am quite sure that a lot of our younger readers would love to see this story continued. Keep up the good work.


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