Points for coming up with an original story line.  i don't think I've ever read another Inuyasha story done this way.  Some of the name changes were confusing, perhaps sticking to just one or two would make it easier for the reader to keep the characters straight.  The story seemed to get a bit off track at times.  I also noticed some spelling and grammar issues.  Overall it's a good idea and fairly well executed but just needs some editing. Keep writing.

Never seen InuYasha -gang style before and your ideas are pretty cool but you jumped back and forth with all the different names, so sometimes I didn't know who was talking to who, about what and why. I was a little lost with the whole 'going to live with her dad, cuz her mom was crazy' but then her mom had to calm her dad down when she and Sess confessed their secrets. As for the song lyrics, I might speak spanish some but I definitely don't know enough of it or of the street lingo to actually understand what you were trying to say some of the time.

If you are really going for the modern day Romeo & Juliet...remembering that they both die at the end....no happy endings there...you are going to need a beta to help with the spelling, sentence and grammar issues. While details are a necessary evil, please slow down and explain situations, places and people without repeating the same lines over and over. It gets quite hard to read it when you do. Take your time and outline what you want to say and then just go for it.

This story started out pretty good. I kind of liked the whole gang idea, but somewhere in your story you seemed to lose site of your original plot. After like the first three chapters everything seemed to be moving very quickly and it was very hard to keep up with what was going on. Also all of the nicknames you were giving everyone were hard to follow, try not to use so many nicknames, pick a few and stick with them and make sure you are specific early on as to who is who.  I believe you have a good base for a story here, but it needs to be gone over for spellng and grammar mistakes, a beta would be very beneficial, a second set of eyes is always useful. Also slow down and plan out your plot ahead of time, as I said, things seemed a bit rushed, and that caused your story to suffer. Its much better to take a little extra time and double check yourself, and turn out a stellar chapter, than to rush through things. So slow down a little, and plan out your chapters, and I believe you will do just fine, I look foreward to more of your work in the future.

This story started out really decently, but have to say I'm not a fan of the later chapters.  It began to seem rather rushed and the lyrics in the last chapter really didn't add to your story.  Also I noticed, the last chapter seemed unedited as there were quite a few typos that weren't as big a problem in the earlier chapters.  I think if you go back over this and work on a bit of editing, you could have a really decent story going.  Just make sure it continues to follow your original plot as it seemed to vear off of it to me.

This is a very interesting premise...the Inuyasha crew in gangs...hmm, I guess I never thought of that. Originality is always a good thing. Your writing is very unique and you seem to pace things well, and I like the journal aspect. Very nice job. Keep up the good work.