Smittee (Chapter 1) - Sat 02 Oct 2010

II love it! I could see the monk stealing some of them as well.


Amy (Chapter 1) - Fri 02 Jul 2010

THIS REMINDED ME OF "Discovery of the Catalog", I LOVED THAT STORY, AND THIS ONE HAS JOINED ITS RANKS!THANK YOU FOR A GREAT READ!


Scherherazade (Chapter 1) - Fri 19 Mar 2010

That was a very funny little short and well written too.  I loved Miroku's reaction.  As for Sessh... hmm not such an icicle after all but hey we already knew that.  Good job.


Sessylove219 (Chapter 1) - Thu 18 Mar 2010

I found this very funny in a totally random kinda way. I love how Kagome had to deal with each member of her group finding her with the porn. Priceless. There were a few places were the quotation marks were in the wrong places, but no biggie. It was just a great little snippet of a story to make one giggle. Perfect.


Angelicatt (Chapter 1) - Wed 17 Mar 2010

Oh my, what an embarrassing thing to go through...I would have thrown them away as soon as I got them and what a dirty dog Sess is...so Miroku-like...tsk tsk. This was fun for a first time and I hope you decide to write more in the future...maybe a follow up to this chapter. Be careful with the runon sentences and jumbled up text - a little spacing will do a whole lot of good.


Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Wed 17 Mar 2010

lmao...Oh poor Kagome...Well this was interesing I must say, However, I would recommend going over it and looking at your grammar, I had a hard time reading it because many of your sentences sounded choppy, but that is easily fixed with a little editing. You have a very good story here and with a little polishing, it will shine brightly:D


Stacerue (Chapter 1) - Tue 16 Mar 2010

Not bad for your first time. Poor Kagome though, how embarassing. Their were a few places that sentences kind of ran into each other. You might want to break them up a bit for better flow. Maybe you could do a follow up and Sesshoumaru could have his way.


beckyducky (Chapter 1) - Tue 16 Mar 2010

LAWLzzzz please continue!! 

Ducky here!!  Your author’s note was pretty funny btw… ^__^  I think this fic has the potential to be amaaazing!!  Get a beta and continue it because I’ve noticed a couple problems here and there with spelling…grammar…blah blah blah.  The idea in itself is fresh.  I’ve seen condom fics/fanart a lot, but dirty magazines are purty original to me (I just haven’t seen any).  You have unrefined gold here!! Work on it because it’s too good not to be edited.  Best of luck.

ducky out!


Hairann (Chapter 1) - Mon 15 Mar 2010

An interesting beginning and not too bad considering it's your first, but I would recommend a few things. Slow down a bit, it was a bit rushed in certain places, make sure you only have one speaker/thinker per paragraph, and your details are really well done but you start too many sentences the same way, such as 'she did this, she did that', and it interrupts the flow.

 

For example instead of 'She looked up at the bright sunny sky. It was a beautiful summer's day. She smiled softly as she leapt and grabbed on the vines that were hanging down and pulled herself up.' Try something like 'Glancing up at the bright, sunny sky, Kagome admired the beautiful summer's day. Smiling softly, she leapt and grabbed onto the vines that were hanging down, pulling herself up.' Now I'm sure my tenses are screwy, but it gives you an idea :).

 

Also there was a slight blooper, your font code showed up at the top of the page hehe. I hope you make a sequel at some point, if you haven't already, as there is so much more you can do with this story.


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