Details are the llife blood of any story and it's something that this imaginative piece could really use. You jumped from time period to period and POV that you missed out on all the little things that brought the two of them together in the first place. How is it that Kagome remembers growing up with her human family 500yrs in the future but not that she was a demon. You rushed through the introduction and had some minor grammar gaffs that made me a lil confused like "women he had come to love" and "Some time a few hours passed"..probably needs to be reworded for it to read more fluidly. I would take out the POV lines completely and put a paragraph spacer in between. Great plot though..

First off, I think you have a great imagination. I would really like it if you fleshed out this story. You are rushing it way too much. You should take your time. I was confused at the beginning. There could be way more to this, if you just take your time, and go through again with a good beta and make this a longer chapter story. This has lots of potential. I would just love to see more of this. Also, all of the switching of POV is so off-putting and confusing that you really should not put it in there. I woudl avoid it completely. I hope you change this up, it could be awesome!

The overall premise of the story is good.  But the story is very rushed.  You give the bare bones of what happened but not many details. Changing points of view can be more confusing than helpful sometimes and makes the story choppy.  Third person point of view actually works best if you want to show what each character is thinking and feeling without disrupting the story's flow. 

I found the idea very interesting and would like to read a more fleshed out version.

I think this story would have worked better as a chaptered story rather than a one shot.  As it is, it is very rushed and there's just too much storyline to smush together, especially with less than 2k words.  Some of the conversations seemed rather immature to me and was a bit off putting as a reader.  Especially when dealing with a one-shot, try to stick to just one POV as the constant changing interupts the flow and tends to annoy readers.  And try to stay away from using words in full caps, a single ! can empasize the word, or even put the word in italics if it is in the middle of a sentence, and would cause less damage to your story.

I just want to say this before I forget: It is always in the author’s best interests to keep things in one POV.  I recommend 3^rd person POV.  Dialogue thoughts if you need to, but keep it in one POV and one tense as well.  Continuity is important, not just in plot but in writing style.

The premise was rather interesting, though I would have loved to see more.  I say this often for oneshots/short fics: SLOW DOWN!! Flesh things out and don’t be afraid to devote a whole chapter to one thing, like describing the meeting, describing the well’s magic…etc. 

The thing that gets you the most is mechanics.  Grammar and spelling matter in fanfics, especially because people are reading it.  I do hope you invest time to look over your writing carefully.  You have great ideas that shouldn’t be marred by errors.

ducky out.

well i must say you can tell it is one of your older stories, as your skill has improved greatly since the time you wrote this. However other than a few spelling and grammar issues, and it seeming to be a little rushed when she transformed, then when Sesshoumaru realeased her memories and they were leaving Inuyasha, i must say this was a rather pleasant read...well done!!