MythMagykFae (Chapter 1) - Tue 29 Mar 2016

Wonderful!


Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Thu 18 Mar 2010

I have actually read 'A Little Bit of Magic' by CiarArana, and I thoguht it was a absolutely wonderful story. I kept telling myself as I was reading this, 'I know of a story where she gives him his arm back in a labyrinth type cave, but I can't remember which one it is >.<!!!" I was litterally beating myself up trying to remember while I was reading this, so I send you a hardy thank you for posting the title, you saved my poor brain from a meltdown:D. Oh I would also put that bit where you said you got CiarArana's permission to use her work as a reference in this story at the beginning, that way there is no confusion as to your reference in the story.

 

Alrighty now onto your story, I thought it was very well written. There were a few spelling and grammar issues, but that isn't anything a little editing won't cure. The lyrics are something I believe you could have left out, your story can easily stand without them. I also believe that you rushed the romance between Kagome and Sesshoumaru, but what you did get was very cute. The way you put Sango and Koga together was also a stroke of genious, and Sango using Miroku as a cover up, I was laughing so hard at that point. Over all a very good job, and I will look foreward to more of your work in the future.


Scherherazade (Chapter 1) - Thu 18 Mar 2010

The story is cute and fluffy.  I like Sango and Kouga as a couple and gotta a kick out of the idea that Kouga was chasing Kagome in order to get closer to Sango while Sango was using Miroku as a smokescreen for her interest in Kouga, very clever and fun. 

I feel that Sesshoumaru's and Kagome's romance needs more development. Everything went by very quickly.  I would like more insight to how they felt towards each other as well as more background on their developing feelings.  I also didn't understand the way they interacted throughout most of the story.  Kagome seems very at ease with Sesshoumaru, in fact she freely mouths off to him and teases him, but the only reason given is that she was in some labyrinth with him and restored his arm.  Why did she restore his arm?  Have they spent time together since then beyond this story?  Sesshoumaru's feelings are explained a bit more, which was great.

As for the song lyrics, I love that song.  You did a good job where you inserted the lyrics, they led into the next part of the story fairly well.  But in this case I feel like the story would have been better without them.

Overall a nice story.


Angelicatt (Chapter 1) - Wed 17 Mar 2010

A few minor spelling booboos here and there and even though I am not a fan of songfics, this one actually wasn't all that distracting. The Sango/Kouga pairing was fun and I did wish that you were a bit more descriptive with the Sess/Kag romance. Still I loved how she walked out on Yasha on their wedding day...


beckyducky (Chapter 1) - Tue 16 Mar 2010

Ducky here!! OMG!! I loved your oneshot!  This was just skillful writing at its best.  The song was perfect.  EVERYTHING was perfect.  The number one “it” factor for fics is not grammar/spelling/sentence structure…etc.  It’s enjoyment – and I bloody well enjoyed it!!  I loved the crafty dialogue between Kagome and Sesshoumaru (though I could have gone without “kago”) and how it always happened to rain whenever they met.  BRILLIANT!!  Lawlz – this can be made into a rom-com!!  Great work and I hope you write other things! 

Oh!  One little, teensy thing: I’m actually worried about Inuyasha’s reaction to Kagome leaving.  You made it humorous in the end; which is fine.  However, Inuyasha has a strong attachment to Kagome because of Kikyo.  If we accept this as true (and we will), then Inuyasha must view Kagome as a tether to Kikyo – losing Kagome would mean losing the only thing he has left to remind him of Kikyo.  Now, Kagome has fled with Sesshoumaru on the day of the mating – that’s gotta hurt a little.  I do feel a bit bad for Inuyasha.  However, after reading your fic as a whole, I can understand why you wrote the ending the way you did.  I don’t think this fic was meant to be any sort of deep contemplation of the nature of the relationship between Kagome and Inuyasha; the fic was supposed to be a short, cute, fluffy fic.  So, the ending worked out well.  I do advise against demonizing Inuyasha when inappropriate though (cuz it shows Kagome in a bad light – just saying).  Excellent work regardless!!

ducky out!


Sessylove219 (Chapter 1) - Mon 15 Mar 2010

Oh, also, I love the Sango/Kouga pairing. I have a story on another site with those two...I think they make a great pair!


Sessylove219 (Chapter 1) - Mon 15 Mar 2010

There were some spelling and grammatical errors here, but I must say, I found this to be very cute. I even liked the lyrics added in, which is so rare for me. It was just a cute, light read, which everyone needs once in awhile. Not everything needs to be so heavy and serious, you know? Once in awhile, I like something that is just light and fun. Great job, you hit that kind of story right on the head. I think it is so hard to do, congrats.


Stacerue (Chapter 1) - Sun 14 Mar 2010

Cute story. I really enjoyed it. I liked how it was different with the Kouga/ Sango pairing. I think it would be fine without the lyrics interjected in it but that's my opinion. I really didn't notice any grammar or punctuation mistakes, so if their were, they didn't detract from the story at all. Keep up the fantastic work!


Hairann (Chapter 1) - Sat 13 Mar 2010

Your basic storyline is really interesting and fun to read, but I feel it could use a lot more. More details and maybe slowing down a bit. I feel the lyrics really just take away from your story rather than adding to it. If you'd really like to keep them, perhaps add them all together at the beginning or end of the story rather than broken up with the paragraphs. Sesshoumaru was a bit OOC at the end, in my opinion, but none the less it was very cute.


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