I haven't reviewed in a while. My bad. I'm still watching you.. heh.
I love the descriptive language at the beginning of this chapter. It gives a warming sense of homecoming, yet at the same time, one is given the impression that life for the villiage goes as normal while there is turmoil all around them. It's a beautiful contrast.
Your creative mind is beautifully abstract. Even though your chapters are short, the reader is given very wonderful description. You're able to provide the most unique plot and descriptions in a few words, and the reader is left hanging on for more. This is the best hope of any writer! I guarantee that any person that reads even the first sentence of this fic will be hooked instantly. You have quite a gift. Please, when you finish this fic, don't stop writing!
Okay, I may be the only one who feels this way, but Rin's abandonment is heartbreaking. I still sympathize with the girl...or perhaps it's pity. I pity her youthful rancor, that unquenchable anger that comes from a mind on the verge of maturity, when you still can't quite reason things objectively. She has no one to talk to about her obviously repressed self-loathing, and the one woman who could have helped her - Kagome - she was too jealous of to trust. So she resorts to all these petty ploys and betrayals, and for what? Karma is a bitch, but will she recognize it was her own choices that determined her fate? Or will it only make her spiral more out of control? It's really, terribly sad.
That said, I wonder about that fang Jaken pulverized... now Rin is a priestess of sorts, so I'm curious if she subconsciously placed some sort of spell on Inuyasha's fang. Like a love spell, because his reaction to losing Kagome - while expected - felt, to me, like he'd just woken up from a dream, especially considering how quickly his feelings for Rin turned to annoyance. Hmm. I could be reading into it too much, but I just dunno.
Miroku's scene was equally sad, and it's such bitter, ironic justice he's now with his children and Rin's only champion, and together they must contend with a baby named Kagome, a constant reminder of everything they've done wrong. Oh well, I'll say it again. Karma is a real bitch.
Hmmmmm... I can see a pattern there... the circle is nearly closed.
Who hasn't been betrayed yet? Let me see... Sesshomaru? No, Kohaku is kind of a traitor, because he wants his mate, but then Sess knows it and uses it, so it's not really a betrayal, I guess.
All the others are deep in... melted chocolate? Far from it...
This story... I know... it's Naraku, dreaming. That must be it. ku ku ku.
Good work XD
Dewa mata
| I am loving this story I am adding you to my Favorite Author List and can't wait to see you grow as an Author.
| Is Sesshoumaru going to put those two in their places? I mean, how can they not care that Kagome is hurting? And Sesshoumaru better hurry cuz Kohaku is acting funny....As he has for the entire story. I still feel sorry for the guy. Isn't there a girl for him in the story? Someone to pull him away from Kagome....I like it! The previous three or four chapters were kinda sluggish to me, but the last chapter definitely brought it back up. Now we just need to get back to Rin and show her who's boss. And Inuyasha needs to be taught a serious lesson. Again.
Oh Please (Chapter 35) - Sun 14 Dec 2008
| This is a very interesting story. I'm quite enjoying it. I keep checking for new chapters, because, I'm dying to know if Miroku returns to the village to find that his Sango died in child-birth. Maybe I read the scenes wrong, but it seemed that she died, met Sessh's dad, then suddenly was waking on a journey. The whole "cold hands" thing makes it seem like she's dead. Just wondering.
Great story. Keep up the good work.
omg you make me so hyper with this story i want so desperatly to see whats going to happen with Kohaku when Sess gets back b/c i have the feeling that its going to be bad. I mean he's trying to replace Sess' scent mark. he's obsessing like Naraku! anyway i cant wait to see update soon!! - r0o
Lot's of nice progression in these past chapters, although I think you have the same paragraph in twice at the bottom of chapter 33. Good introspection, rich imagery and subtle foreshadowing. Loved every word. And a wink at Persia? You are covering the ancient civilization gamut, and I am not complaining in the least. (If you're really into that stuff, I have to shamelessly plug my Inupapa "Christmas" fic listed on my profile. It's replete with ancient civilization references, even some terribly obscure ones.)
Oooh... interesting. *seriously, seriously hooked*
joyouki (Chapter 1) - Wed 10 Dec 2008
| oh shizz! Miroku is going to be unfaithful that's awful especially having 4 kids..the dirt bag!
Inu & Kags are seperated, that's crap, but I'm sure you have something up your sleeve!!
Great start, I'm enjoying it!
fortunesque (Chapter 31) - Wed 10 Dec 2008
Rodney Dangerfield: No respect!
... Oh gracious. Inupapa and Midoriko, eh? Hmm. Are you going down the road that Kikyo/Kagome/Rin are reincarnations of Midoriko? Because, if so, yeah... he is SO NOT out to "help" Kagome. And if you're not going down that road, well, then he's after her for another nefarious reason! I swear, I do not trust the demon!
Beautiful chapter. Ai's virtual imprisonment is very tragic. And how much does it suck to see your husband cheating right when you need to tell him you're pregnant. Remember when I said this was getting to be like Jerry Springer? Yeah...
...
???
Alright, so I know the songs you tie to the chapters give clues, and while the theme is apparent, the actual setting has me completely stumped. I'm knee-deep in another "Lost" episode, aren't I? Is this some sort of backward vision? Meaning, Miroku's dreaming in the Hotel California, and he runs into Sango in his dream and gets this message? Or is he an apparition constructed by her disembodied subconscious? (And why was there a flock of monks? Were they all Miroku?) Wow... it's all very existential. I could analyze this like I would a dream, that Inu's presence is Sango's desire to try something new, powerful and dangerous, and Inu hiding from Miroku means she never felt she could honestly share that part of herself with him. Then she dismisses him by the fire, no matter how conciliatory he is, because she's mentally letting him go, severing the control he has over her. Hmm... is she actually meeting these men or imagining them?
???
...
My brain hurts.
Page 11 of 14
| | | | | | | | | | | | 