You keep switching between first- and third- person points of view. You ought to go back and fix that, And I would advise keeping it in third-person, since that is how you started the fic.
wow its a really good story very intriguing any ways keep up the great work i hope you update soon ^_^
This is very good, please update it soon.
Will we get to see things from sesshoumaru's point of veiw more often when it concerns kagome?
I love your depiction of kagura and her dance, I'll be waiting on the updates! Albeit, impatiently. :3
I'm loving your story right now, though I'm only about half the way done with the first chapter, but something is bothering me. At first I was confused, but now I get it. You have Kenta being Kagome's nobleman, but then it says he's the west's ambassador. I believe you've used his name twice on accident and meant to put Shuichi.
Still reading though...
This is a very interesting begining, the plot seems original so far, and your writing is well balanced.
However, it'd be good if you had a beta... there are some little mistakes marring the chapter, and first and third person perspective are used a little erratically... a shame for such a promising debut XD
Dewa mata
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