While most of the time I don't read stories where the characters are ooc and I completely understand where too lazy was coming from,many people feel that way, most of the time I do, but I like your story very much.
A suggestion here, maybe in the future to avoid comments like too lazy, put in the summary that shows up on the homepage that the characters are ooc, then people know what they're getting into before they even click to read and you can avoid comments that make you respond a less than appreciative and crude way.
I understand how you feel about betas, but maybe you should consider it just strictly for line editing, then you can avoid things like "agaisnt" in the first line of a chapter.
Good luck! I can't wait for your next update.
Nyuka (Chapter 7) - Sun 30 Nov 2008
| Too funny...as I see it the only thing that would have made if funnier would have been if Sesshoumaru went a bit crazy over seeing Kagome....but alas it is too soon for that they just met after all...XD....This is turning into quite a intriging story love to see more.................Nyuka
AWWWWWWWWWWWW! What a mean way to end the chapter! *pouts* post again soon!
Really good story. I enjoy how it progresses. Can't wait for your next update.
Nyuka (Chapter 8) - Fri 28 Nov 2008
| Ok I Totaly understand what your talking about .... I make not write stories but I read alot....and gosh it can get annoying buuuuuuuuuut I can also see the other side of the scale...a mistake like the first one can accedently be overlooked.....its happened a couple of times while writing a essay...the computer doesn't catch the grammer mistake but the word is spelt correctily just not the right one....Now I agree with the fact that if you deside to post a story you should reread it....but some time the mind will see what it wants to see while profing, so the word would be what you want it to be insted of what it really is....ya know?.....Plus not every one can get a beta...>.<.......Happy HOlidays....(I love to add my two cents...lol)...........Nyuka...XP
Nyuka (Chapter 8) - Fri 28 Nov 2008
| Ok I Totaly understand what your talking about .... I make not write stories but I read alot....and gosh it can get annoying buuuuuuuuuut I can also see the other side of the scale...a mistake like the first one can accedently be overlooked.....its happened a couple of times while writing a essay...the computer doesn't catch the grammer mistake but the word is spelt correctily just not the right one....Now I agree with the fact that if you deside to post a story you should reread it....but some time the mind will see what it wants to see while profing, so the word would be what you want it to be insted of what it really is....ya know?.....Plus not every one can get a beta...>.<.......Happy HOlidays....(I love to add my two cents...lol)...........Nyuka...XP
chevonne (Chapter 7) - Sat 22 Nov 2008
i like your story and i am glad to read another good chapter.
| you know what? i like all the character changes, it makes it all seem more original. Keep up the good work. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Ja ne!
| Ah, everyone else beat me to the punch, go figure, I have been secretly lurker reading this story while anxiously awaiting updates. I am enjoying the story and can't wait to find out what happens next. As I am also an author I know that you would probably enjoy suggestions or more detailed feedback but at the moment I am just too... mentally preoccupied... to really focus on critiquing and praising all I can really tell you is that it takes a really good story to catch and hold my attention and your story has done that so far. Can't wait till chapter 4 is really up!
tifany (Chapter 5) - Sat 25 Oct 2008
| ow poor kags!!!!!!!! huhuhuhuhuhu
too lazy to log in (Chapter 5) - Sat 25 Oct 2008
| Hm. I thought it started out pretty okay. But now everything doesn't seem in character, and the dialogue is very cliche like.
While I suppose you're working on Sesshoumaru's stoicism, I don't quite like Rin's behavior. And the fact that Sesshoumaru could have a broken heart, from Kagura of all people.
And Kagome... hm. I didn't even bother reading the home abuse thing. Right after Koga said "don't do it ever again" or something. If you are going to be writing a fanfiction, which is writing your own plot using a known media's characters, I would at least expect you to stay in character for ALL of them. And Koga's really such a sweetie (as well as a whipped wolf). While I enjoy a tough Kagome every once in a while, the way you went about it for this story just doesn't seem right. She seems like a smart ass. And not the good kind, mind you. And then when you put her up against Koga, makes her look really weak. And I actually hate that she couldn't put up a decent fight. What happened to her so called Miko powers? If you're going to change the character's personalities around so much, you might as well just make your own fiction with your own characters, not something like this.
LC Rose (Chapter 5) - Sat 25 Oct 2008
| I've been reading this and am surprised I haven't commented so far!! Sorry. I don't mind that the characters aren't "in character". It's your freakin' story and you should be able to do what you want with it, danr it!! I'm loving Kagome's character and I can't wait for she and Fluffy to meet. Next chapter, right? Right?!?!? lol Well, good job with the writing. You handled the abuse section wonderfully--if such a thing can be said. I liked Kikyou and Inuyasha's reactions, but am surprised Inuyasha didn't bolt out the door right then. Silly hanyou. Neither am I a Kikyou fan, but you have her as a likeable character in this story and that's a nice chnage from the ordinary. Ready and waiting for some more...Tara
Inulovely383 (Chapter 5) - Sat 25 Oct 2008
| Great update...I can not wait until you put Sesshoumaru into the mix with the abusive Koga. I love the direction of your characters and the overall story. Great Job and update soon.
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