So far the story is good. you just need to read it after you write it to make more cohesive. Please do't abandon a good story
I just found it. KEEP WRITING! please, I want to know what happens.
Is english a second language?
let me digest what has been done sofar, and I will get back
Rosemarie/Fubuki
I love this! Im a little confused at first. Like what happened to sango? And what is everyone hiding but I can't wait to see what happens! This is so different then a lot of stories I read and I just binge read this lol. Plz,PLZ don't give this up! I can't wait to see what's next :)
Please finish this story.
More more more
Awesome story! I am truly enjoying it. I'm glad that Sesshoumaru becomes a little more open with Kagome and explaining she needs to know
Mi piace questo capitolo una Kagome disposta a ascoltare.
In a way, Kagome is not making any sense. It seems like she's not listening at all, not even to herself. Her behavior seems out of character and extremely selfish. If she just leaves she won't get to know him and he won't know her. She's not making a good impression. Guessing he'said going to have to save her soon and it'll get out.
Good for you sesshy
Hopefully Kagome matures soon. Yes, be upset but not a brat. Especially when she started this, whether she knew it or not. It would be easier for them to explain things if she would let them talk.
I hope you continue with Kagome's sassiness and wit. She should tell her lie because she is not meant for Sesshoumaru and neither is he meant for her, there's no love there.
Una bella storia mi piacerebbe Kagome meno isterica, per il resto tutto bene.
I LOVE your story and am looking forward to the next chapter!!
So, I really like the premise, but there are some transitional and grammar issues. I'm not one for first persons most of the time, but I feel like if those two main issues could be fixed that it can be a really good story!
Please don't consider this as a flame <3
My only question is why she so weak?
I was hoping to know what was up with Sesshomaru....But good chapter overall, Though there are some spelling mistakes but a fast update compensates for that!!
Good chap looking forward to seeing more.
This seems like it's going to be as great story. Looking forward to seeing more.
I found the story interesting and a bit intriguing. However, it was a bit confusing also. It seemed to lack fluidity and continuity. There were a few spelling and grammatical errors. In chapter one, you seem to have repeated the fighting and death scene of Kagura twice. And after Naraku was defeated what did Kagome wish on. How did Kohaku live after the jewel was taken from him? What did Kagome mean when she was musing about Inuyasha's ears about missing his ears on top of his head and then they were on the side? Was it his human night or did something change about him? There are few other questions but I will leave them alone.
All-in-all the story has a lot of potential and it was nicely written. I would like to read more because you got my attention. You may want to get a beta to help with the story. I believe I am going to like this story it has potential.
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