Please Don't Think of Me by sesshou_lover

Buy You a Burger

It is kind of short, but this chapter was almost finished and I am still kind of on my enforced break, but thought I'd get this up anyway. Enjoy.

Buy You A Burger?

Kagome bit back a sigh. She should have known better than to just expect Sesshoumaru to not stop her. She placed a gentle smile on her face to hide her discomfort. "Hello Sesshoumaru."

They sort of stood there for a while, sort of staring at one another. Looking at him closely she saw the slight care lines surrounding his eye and mouth. He had aged quite a bit in the short time.

Her hand itched to trace his face, to rub away those signs of grief. Only she seemed able to look at him closely enough to see the weight he carried. He hid it so well. Her smile lessened the slightest bit.

How could she lie to him and say that he looked good when it was obvious that he didn't? How could she lie to him about something they both knew? "Kikyou looked good," she said instead.

Sesshoumaru looked away, back toward the café. "Kikyou always looks good." They said nothing again, the silence uncomfortable. Kagome chewed on her lower lip. She really wanted to get back to her apartment and lock the door.

She did not expect the reunion to be like this. Yes she was confident in herself. But there was that slight crack in the wall where Sesshoumaru was concerned. The crack had a tendency to widen whenever she thought of him.

"How's Koga?" he asked.

"He's good," she said brightly. That was very true. Koga had no problems beside the normal everyday concerns.

"Oh."

Kagome turned her head away from Sesshoumaru. It was so uncomfortable just standing and talking to him. Didn't he have things to do? She shifted the videos in her arms. They weren't heavy, but she could not help but to shift them.

Sesshoumaru focused on the videos. "Did you have something planned for tonight?"

Kagome looked down at the video. She shrugged. "I got a promotion at work," she said.

"That's great. Koga must be very happy to hear that."

She laughed nervously. "Actually he doesn't know. He's out of town."

"Oh," Sesshoumaru said again. Neither really knew what to do anymore at that point. It was so difficult to talk. She did not know what to say. He obviously did not know what to say as well.

She could not just simply stand in the middle of the sidewalk though. She hated when other people did that. It really bothered her when she had to walk around inconsiderate people.

But she doubted she'd be able to just walk around Sesshoumaru though. She took a deep breath, letting it go slowly. "Why don't you walk me to my place so we can drop off the videos?

Sesshoumaru nodded slightly. It sounded like a good idea. Kagome really did not want him with her. She did not want him to enter her place, but did not know a polite way to turn him away now that they were walking toward her place.

She felt his eyes constantly checking her out as they walked. She knew that she had not changed much since the last time she saw him. Perhaps her hair was a little longer, but that was about it.

She hadn't changed her style at all. She wore an over large black sweater with a comfortable pair of blue jeans. She had on her favorite shoes. Nothing about her screamed fashion. She was comfortable and did not care.

His face was unreadable. Whatever he thought he did not want to share it so the walk seemed so much longer than it actually was. He did not mind. He felt a sort of peace just walking beside Kagome.

She was so beautiful to him. She had not changed. Her skin was still so smooth. She had not a wrinkle anywhere. She did not carry herself as if she had such overwhelming troubles.

She certainly did not seem to have the same troubles that he did. She seemed so...serene. She had that carefree look about her.

He was jealous. She was not torn up like he was. He spent years suffering for his bad choice. Yet here she was, looking perfect, doing her own thing as if she had never thought of him.

It was his entire fault. He should never have let her go. He knew that. He knew that years ago when she sent him packing. He truly lost her. How could she even want to be his friend after all that he had done to her?

"I'm sorry," he said.

Kagome glanced at him. "What is there to be sorry for?" Her faced showed its confusion.

"For all that I did. I probably don't deserve your forgiveness. I will never deserve your forgiveness. But I should have never hurt you. You of all people did not deserve to be hurt by my thoughtlessness."

Kagome felt her spine shiver. He sounded so morose. She did not like him like that. He was too proud to behave like this. "Don't worry about it. I'm long over it. You should not dwell so much on it either."

He shook his head lightly. She did not understand. He could not help but to dwell on it. He could not forget her at all now since that day. Doesn't she know what she did to him?

Every night he dreamt about her. It was Kagome's face he saw every time he closed his eyes. She haunted him. No matter what happens, he only saw Kagome's face.

All he wanted to do was just take Kagome in his arms and just hold her to him. He did not want to let her go ever. No matter what he did, he did not want to let her go. If only she gave him the slightest chance, he'd take her.

Kagome saw the turmoil Sesshoumaru seemed to project. She felt for him. She really did not truly understand why he let him so close to her heart. She just could not toss him out again.

"Listen," she said quietly. "Why don't I buy you a burger or something after we drop off the video? I was going to make myself dinner, but it might just be fun to go out." Plus it would be really good to be in a public place where she'd feel more comfortable.

"I can't. Kikyou's a vegan. She would not like me eating meat."

Kagome stopped in her tracks. She looked him up and down before making a decision. "That does not mean that you need to stop eating meat. Sesshoumaru you do not look very good anymore. You look awfully unhealthy." There she said it. Now he had to deal with it.

His jaw tightened. Although Kagome was correct, he was angry at her. How dare she say that he did not look good? He turned away from her suddenly.

Kagome was so tempted to let him go on his way. She really should have let him walk away from her and go back to his wife. She had only said the truth. Why should he get angry at her for speaking the truth?

"I don't mean it to be mean. I'm just trying to tell you that you are jeopardizing your health," she said seriously, "I don't care how much you love your wife, you should not be slowly killing yourself."

Now that she said what she had to say, she continued walking to her apartment. Let Sesshoumaru do what he wanted to do. Why should she care? Why should he really expect her to care?

"Kagome?" She stopped walking at the sad tone of his voice. Did he have to be almost pathetic?

"It's an easy offer Sesshoumaru. I thought that it would not be such a bad idea to perhaps catch up on the last three years of our lives. We honestly don't have to. I'm not holding a gun to your head. I did not tell you to come over from the café to talk to me."

"I'm sorry," he looked down at the ground. "I seem to keep putting my foot in my mouth when it comes to you."

She laughed bitterly. "Don't bother. Either you come with me or let me go my own way." She almost let it slip that she did not care which he did. It was all his choice, no matter that she had kind of wanted to see how he was doing.

"I guess since you are celebrating your promotion I can get a burger with you. Kikyou can understand."

Kagome nodded quietly. As long as he knew what he wanted to do.

~*~

Kagome dropped her videos off on the coffee table in her living room. Sesshoumaru stood in the doorway, too uncomfortable to enter the apartment. They sort of stood there, staring.

She remembered the last time he was in the apartment, what almost happened. Neither knew what to say, letting the awkward silence grow.

Finally Kagome had enough of not saying something. "Maybe we should go?"

"Yes," said Sesshoumaru. "Why don't we?"

"Okay then," she paused uncomfortably, "We should be on our way."

They did not move for a long while, both possibly thinking the same exact thought. It was a bad idea to do this. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, they did not listen to that inner voice.

They left together for the restaurant, Sesshoumaru leading the way. This time they spoke not a single word on the way down the road.