Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plot and my new created figures.
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A/N: As you maybe know I have been suffering from real live, so I can not write as much as I would like. Currently I started to rework some of my stories, containing for example An Ancient Vow or Most Prescious Possession. This little oneshot is for your endless patience and wonderful support. It is done with my wonderful Beta Smortz (Thank you so much, love! Once again it had been a pleasure.) I hope you enjoy it.
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So many years spent together, so many years lived side by side. You should think they knew each other and yet…
In the world there were two columns of society. The first one were the four yōkai high lords, which reigned over the four cardinal directions. The neko yōkai of the South, the kuma yōkai of the North, the okami yōkai of the East and the oldest clan, with the most history, the inu yōkai of the West.
The second column were the four cardinal shrines of each territory. The families that inhibited those shrines were as old as the lands itself and equally high in their social standing. Each generation bore at least one male reiki user, the new high priest, who were honored and respected all through the lands.
Much more seldom were female offspring from those families and even more those of power. For the last 200 years there had been no such child in any of the great shrine families. The Higurashi Shrine of the West had gone over 500 years without a real miko in their line.
It was common for a reiki user to be bound to a yōki user, as it was much more likely to happen that from such a union at least one new female reiki user was born. Also a miko mated to a yōkai would bear only pure blooded offspring and the yōkai clan had no need to worry about getting extinguished or producing hanyō.
Even when hanyō were socially accepted it was still preferred to have full yōkai offspring to keep the even more seldom yōkai from vanishing. After losing his first mate the current Lord of the West and his eldest son were the only full blooded silver inu´s left.
So he was more than happy when finally the next Higurashi miko had been born and it had been arranged for her to be mated to the younger of the two heirs of the West. Not only would this union guarantee the continued existence of the great inus, but also as Inuyasha was hanyō it was also more likely for her to produce more reiki offspring then yōkai ones.
To be fitted into her role as one of the future ladies of the West, Kagome had been practically raised and schooled with the brothers as had been Kagura, a wind yōkai that was supposed to be mated to the elder brother.
But as time went by some developments no one could have predicted took place. The most important one surely was the downfall of Kagura´s father Naraku, who had tried to assassinate the Inu no Taisho and the Lady of the West.
Following his capturing and his execution it had become more than evident, that Kagura was no longer the slightest bit fit to be the mate-to-be of the future Lord of the West – Not to mention that Kagura meanwhile had fallen hard for another male and had been found cheating by her supposed mate.
This had left Sesshōmaru without a mate-to-be, an unusual incident and unacceptable status for his rank. Yet the inu had been able to convince his father to let him be for now so he could fully concentrate on his schooling and training for his future standing.
Another situation had come only to notice by the two brothers and their little miko companion. Upon starting high school Inuyasha met another miko, Kikyo and it had been love at first sight. For years the two of them had tried to suppress their feelings and avoided each other in every possible way.
Yet upon graduating, and the prospect of never seeing each other again, they had no longer been able to deny themselves and had finally broken down. As things happens from time to time it was also more than apparent that Kagome and Inuyasha - while being best friends and loving each other dearly - would never be more than just that.
Still there was the honor bound promise between the Higurashi Shrine and the Clan of the West. The miko had to be bound to the Clan. Much to everybody’s surprise this had been where Sesshōmaru had stepped in.
After a long talk between miko and inu the two of them decided to rid their families of the problems to see both with the much needed mates. A big mating ceremony had been held, binding the two of them together and also freeing Inuyasha to do the same with his love. This led to the current situation.
After being mated to the young daiyōkai, Kagome had aged with him till they had reached the peak of maturity and now would share his immortal live. As they knew each other from moment one, it would seem they knew each other quite well. Yet none of them was sure how to name their relationship. They hardly talked or saw each other, both more or less spending separate lives.
Kagome often felt incredible lonely, feeling that her icy mate needed no one and nothing - especially not his human companion. She tried to make her life without bothering him too much by fulfilling all her duties and otherwise leaving him to be.
Unbeknownst to her the inu felt much the same. True to his kind Sesshōmaru was deep down, beneath his cold exterior, a very social being - one that very much craved the attention and affection of his mate. For him, it seemed that the little miko neither needed nor wanted him. So he withdrew more and more, layering his heart with even more ice in an attempt to protect himself.
It never would have changed between the two of them, but Inuyasha, seeing the two of them suffer day by day, decided this had to stop. He and Kagome still met regularly and so he knew both sides. Unable to bear seeing those two important pack members hurt any longer, he took the elder to the side.
~*~*~
Carefully the inu unlocked the door that lead to their home. It had been some days since he had talked to his brother and he had spent much time thinking. He had come to a conclusion, an important one.
No longer would he avoid his female but talk to her. If his brother was right, then she was suffering like him and if not he would at least have clarity.
Slowly, he made his way through the great mansion, his senses spread while he searched for the little miko. He stopped in front of his bedroom, sniffing slightly he was surprised to find that she must indeed be inside of what had been supposed to be their shared room had this been a true mating.
Carefully he pushed the slightly ajar door open so he could peek inside. The sight before him made his breath catch. There on his bed sat his female barely clad in a cute, short nightgown and a robe. Her long raven tresses were braided and hung heavily over her shoulder. In her slender hands rested one of his most favorite books which she was evidently reading with great interest.
She looked so relaxed and comfortable that he was sure it was not the first time to spent her time like this. Suddenly, he realized that it had been ages that he had seen her like this. Her soft skin seemed to glow in contentment, those beautiful pale blue eyes, which never failed to enrapture him, shining openly with emotions.
Gone was the composed, meek female that spoke only in soft tones and kept her eyes averted, how it was expected. There before him on his bed was the female he had known in his childhood. The one that had always being around his annoying half-brother, who had been able to capture and hold his attention time and time again where everybody else had failed.
Had they been friends back then? He didn't know anymore. Sure they had never been lovers, never been able even to wonder about it, but friends? He felt that sometimes it was much more difficult to befriend someone then to make them a lover.
Clearing his throat carefully, he took a step forward and through the door. Kagome jolted, sending the book flying as she caught sight of him with those mesmerizing eyes. Instinctively, her reiki washed over the room, effectively erasing each and every scent or trace of her being there away.
The inu found he was disappointed. Staring at him, he could practically see her barrier crash down, hiding her true self before him and – if his brother was right – protecting her from the feelings she held for him.
“You are home,” she said, wary about his reaction of her being in his sanctuary. Sure, it was not the first time she sneaked inside his rooms, yet he had never before been able to capture her. She was absolutely unsure how he would take her braising one of those unwritten rules.
“I am...”, Sesshōmaru nodded slowly. Never taking his eyes off her while he took off his jacket and thoughtlessly throwing it over the back of his favorite chair. “Pull down the covers.”
“Huh?” Kagome looked at him with open surprise.
“Let us get more comfortable.” He said softly as he unbuttoned his cuffs and started to roll up his sleeves. “It is time we talk, do you not you agree?”
“Talk?” Her voice was not much more than a whisper. Her lips parted slightly as she watched him move through the room with practiced ease.
“Yes, dear, talk.” Giving her a slight nod, he made a movement at the candles spread all over the room. “Maybe light some of those, let us try to get some more relaxed atmosphere in here. I will go and lock the door for tonight and dismiss the servants. We have hidden long enough from this...” Already leaving the room he added in a whisper: “...Maybe until we are no longer strangers.”
The time when he returned she had indeed lifted the covers from his bed. Silently he watched as she moved slowly through the room lightening candle after candle, bathing the whole room in soft golden lights.
Feeling his presence, she turned and looked at him, taking in his now short silver hair, his inhuman, golden eyes. He knew she liked those magenta stripes adorning his face and other parts of his body. Once as a little girl, she had spent a whole evening finding and tracing each of them, paying special attention to the blue crescent resting upon his brows.
Him being a yōkai his physique was well muscled, even though he was not overly broad and heavy, but much more like his true form. A lean, well-toned male, slender and tall without being lanky. He knew how much she had liked it, when he did not suppress his inu-features. So he had dropped his full restrain on his yōki and allowed his tail to be seen.
“Please,” an unexpected, soft yet hesitant smile spread over her face as she gestured at the bed. “You look tired. If you like lay down,” she paused for a second, maybe two, “the pillow... it´s mine, I brought it with me, but if you like you may use it. It is very comfortable.”
“What about you?” he asked as he made his way over to the bed and sat down at the edge. It satisfied him to see that she was moving closer as well instead of sinking into one of the chairs.
“I´ll be sitting here? Beside you on the bed?”
“That I would like.” Reclining against the thick, soft pillow he closed his eyes. The soothing scent of lavender and honey surrounded him.
“So...” Kagome glanced at the relaxing male. “You want to talk.”
“Hn,” Sesshōmaru opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. Arching one slender brow, he took in how she fidgeted on the blanket, playing with the hem of her gown. “Do you not agree that this childishness has to stop? There are things needed to be said... Some we should have said long ago.”
The miko blinked at him, then gave him a slight nod which he took as a sign to move on.
“When we mated, we were at least something akin to friends.” He looked down at his clawed hands. “At least for myself I can say so.” He looked up and into her face, so familiar and yet it seemed as if he looked properly at her for the first time. “I do not think it is too late for us to get back to that, do you not agree?”
“Back to being friends?” Kagome bit her lip, examining the male next to her thoroughly. Had she ever did that before? Had she ever truly looked at him? “I am not sure if we ever were... friends. Yet I like the idea... The idea of getting to know each other... again? I... You... We feel like strangers now, don´t we? I don´t want us to be strangers just because we are mated. I want us to be...”
“Yes?” He bent forward, mindful he took her soft, tiny hands in his so much bigger ones. “What do you want us to be?”
“I am not sure...” Those blue eyes were shining with emotions, emotions he had not dared to hope for.
Then and there the daiyōkai made his decision, the decision to pursue this female, his female. To really make her his and as another first on that evening he lowered the barrier he had erected the moment their mating-bond had formed.
Her eyes widened as emotions washed through her, through them, for he too for the first time was able to feel hers. The feelings he received and which he knew mirrored in his own eyes at this moment were enough to ensure him he had done the right thing. Softly he pressed on.
“I am aware, that I am not the most sociable being to be around.” His lips twitched in a slight smile at her small giggle. “I am sure it would not be easy - no, is definitely not easy - to love me. I have the habit to withdraw, to act cold. And yes I am aware that I appear to be aloof and arrogant... But... You see, well more you should know, that there are also other sides of me.”
The smile that now fully bloomed on those luscious lips was warm and tender. It held promises to things he hadn´t dared to hope for even in his wildest dreams. Another slight nod confirmed that what he said had been right and he could dare to go on.
“But it is not easy to love you too,” he said, looking down at their joined hands with a slight frown. “You know your failures so there is no need for me to name them and still...” Again he locked his golden gaze with her´s. “You give me the feeling to be always half out of the door, out of my live. I want nothing more than to hold you - to shelter, protect, yet at the same time always support you.”
Tears filled Kagome´s eyes at his words. She realized that both of them had made mistakes and he was right. She had lived the last years always ready to leave, even though she wanted nothing more than to stay. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand and cupped his jaw.
“I am sorry,” the miko said softly. “I understand it is hard for you to forgive me but know that I already forgave you. We have spent so much time leaving the room instead of talking. I guess it had been much too hard to apologize or even to try to see behind the masks we had been wearing. We both thought we were right in the way we acted towards each other.”
“Hn,” the inu smiled slightly and sat up a bit. “We agree, it would have been so easy just to keep on like that. Just deciding to bear a grudge, not trying the slightest bit to change it. As we did not talk how should we be able to declare who was wrong and who was right. If you ask me, in a way we were both, depending on how you look at it.”
For a long moment they just looked at each other, joined in comfortable silence. His thumb stroking lazy circles over her fragile wrist.
“Tell me,” Kagome hesitated. “Who do you see, who am I to you? When you look into my eyes, what do you see?”
“What I see?” Sesshōmaru sat fully up, then leaned towards her. “I see a wonderful, smart female. A strong and powerful miko, but also a beautiful, feminine woman. I see... I see my soul-mate.”
Closing the gap between them, he pressed his lips against hers in a soft, short kiss. He pulled back before she could react, about to move away in case it had been a mistake. Her hands reached up, dove into his silver tresses and pulled him back down. One kiss followed the other and clothes seemed to melt away.
~*~*~
The first morning light filtered into the room. It wandered over the favorite chair of the daiyōkai and over the warm floorboards. Slowly but steadily it made its way across a discarded shirt and socks until it reached the bed. There, under a crumbled blanket, were tangled limbs and two beings, who were not strangers anymore.
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A/N: Please read and review! Feedback is my fuel!