AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Word Count: 3,315
HESITANT TO BELIEVE the unrepentant inugami, Kagome peaked through her lashes and was hit by an instant wave of dizziness. Sesshomaru hadn’t lied. Time was moving forward again at a staggering rate, even faster than before. The land was a confusing blend of colors, and all she could really be sure of was that they continued to follow a blob of crimson.
Sesshomaru’s brother.
Kikyo’s lover.
What was his name?
Kagome felt a pang and placed a hand over the ache in her chest. Why hadn’t Kikyo confided in her? She thought they’d been close, telling each other everything—at least, she had. But not Kikyo. Her sister had been keeping a secret from her—a big one.
Were there others? Other secrets? Other…men?
Had Kikyo ever trusted her?
These newfound doubts plagued her, dripping poison on her already wounded psyche. She was vulnerable, needing the strength of her sister to rely on until she found her footing, but her support was missing. Had it ever been there?
She and Kikyo had had their disagreements in the past but nothing that had divided them. Surely, her sister knew that she would never have judged her? Kagome would have been understandably shocked, in the beginning, but never would she have condemned Kikyo; though, she would have sought understanding. Kikyo had always done what was expected of her, had encouraged Kagome to do the same.
Her faith in her sister cracked.
Because Kikyo had lied.
Of where she was going. With whom she was seeing. There had been no messenger. No pregnant woman. No difficult birth. Blatant lies.
As well as a lie of omission.
Secrets were precarious things. Hiding a difficult, even painful, truth was a betrayal of trust.
Even though it is none of your business, she chastised herself harshly. Yet the pain persisted, because her sister hadn’t trusted her. What had she done to cause Kikyo to doubt her loyalty?
To lie to her.
To force her to uphold an ideal of duty and purity Kikyo herself obviously did not believe in?
Time slowed, but did not revert to normal pace. But it was enough.
Her attention returned with a sharp gasp. “Don’t you dare!” Not again!
Sesshomaru chuckled, dark, sensuous. She frowned. Did he sound…tired? “You have no desire to watch? You appeared to be enjoying yourself earlier.”
“No!”
“Liar,” a low chastisement with no heat, no ire. “You forget. I can scent your response. Your arousal.”
Kagome turned her head away sharply, refusing to look as the lover’s embraced once more.
“We can’t just…watch!” A worse thought. “They are our siblings. He’s your brother!”
“Half-brother.”
“It’s wrong!” Disgraceful!
“As you wish, aijin.” Sesshomaru shocked her by conceding. Time moved forward at such a rate, it was impossible to see the intimate details of the act, but Kagome knew, and she couldn’t look. Not until they were on the move again.
Kagome stared vacantly at the red blur that held her sister.
Did Kikyo know what had happened to their village while she was away with her…lover? she wondered, feeling something dark build in her chest. Bitterness.
Kikyo had known of the impending danger, knew the bandit forces were running rampant in the area. And she’d left anyway. Abandoning them. For pleasure. For selfishness. Kagome pressed her hand against her heart harder, curling into herself.
Trust. Such a fragile thing.
So easily taken for granted, abused.
Broken.
Time slowed enough for Kagome to recognized the area. Kikyo had returned to their village, and all that remained were charred ruins.
Did Kikyo wonder if she’d survived? Was her sister, even now, looking for her? Or, believing she was died, had she simply…moved on? To be happy with her lover. With her family gone, Kikyo no longer had to worry that her secret would be revealed. Was Kikyo possibly relieved on some unconscious level?
Kagome pressed her hands to her ears as though she could silence the doubts in her head, but there was no surcease.
Sesshomaru’s brother was there, dragging Kikyo into his arms. Time reverted to normal, and as Kagome watched, her heart breaking at witnessing such an intimate moment, the image…flickered. Once, twice.
But everything returned to normal, and Sesshomaru took them within several feet of the pair. Their conversation distracted Kagome from the strange mirage-like affect that had—for a moment—distorted the air around them.
“She’s dead. They’re all…”
“Maybe not.” His tone was gruff, but she could see the torment twisted the hanyou’s features. He cared for her sister; deeply. He looked so much like Sesshomaru… “Your family could have fled before the bandits came—”
“Kagome and Kaede are dead!” Kikyo interrupted with a sharp shout. “They never would have left. There were people here, villagers too frail or infirm to flee. They never would have abandoned them.” More quietly, she repeated, “They’re dead.”
“It’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself, Kikyo.”
Kagome noted that Kikyo did not return the embrace, merely allowed her lover to hold her, stiff in his arms.
“I should have been here. I never should have left.”
“Do you…blame me, Kikyo?” Kagome heard his hurt, his anger.
“Of course not, Inuyasha.” So that was his name. “I am just as to blame.”
Kikyo blamed them both, Kagome realized. Before Inuyasha could say anything, Kikyo leaned back to look up at him. Her voice was cold, hard. “I want them to pay for what they have done.”
“What do you mean?” Inuyasha’s cute dog ears pressed against his skull, and Kagome saw that he was as shocked as she by Kikyo’s vehemence.
“These were not men who came to my village. Rapists. Murders. They are monsters. I exterminate monsters. It is my duty. As a miko. As a sister.”
Inuyasha nodded, determined. “Alright, Kikyo. I’ll hunt them down for you. You’ll never have to worry about them again.”
“You would kill for me?”
“I’d do anything for you.” Kagome was shocked that a daemon, even a hanyou, was capable of such blind devotion. Of such love—for a ningen miko.
“Together. We will go together.” When Inuyasha sputtered in opposition, Kikyo stepped into him. Only then did she wrap her arms around him. She was on her toes, lifting her mouth, and Inuyasha took the invitation without hesitation. The kiss was thorough, consuming.
Embarrassing Kagome.
Kikyo was the one to break away, but she kept her arms around Inuyasha, and he did not let go of her in return. “I seek vengeance. Are you with me, Inuyasha?”
Kagome couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She stared at Kikyo as though she were a stranger.
Suddenly, everything around Kagome wavered, the embracing couple flickered, turning black, then white. The figures disappeared only to reappear. They continued to speak, but their voices were distorted, too confusing to understand.
“What…” Kagome breathed, bemused.
Behind her, she felt Sesshomaru’s chest heave, before a great shudder shook him on a rough exhalation. Kikyo and Inuyasha’s bodies flickered again, then the colors around Kagome changed. Hues of every vibrancy clashed, colliding and tore into each other with jagged electrical currents slashing through the chaos. Kagome cried out, stumbling back against Sesshomaru, who groaned. A pained sound. She felt him stagger against her weight, then they were falling.
“Sesshomaru!”
The inugami collapsed to his knees, and took her with him. His proud back bowed, bending. His chest pushed against Kagome’s back, forcing her to her hands and knees. Sesshomaru caged her, his hands smacking against the ground on either side of her. She felt a great weight, as though he could not prop himself up and was using her strength to hold him steady.
“Sessh—”
A powerful air current blasted against her, rustling their hair, their clothing, followed by a horrendous bang. Light flashed, blinding her, before exploding in an array of colors. Kagome screamed in fear, but what scared her even more was the guttural sound Sesshomaru made.
She couldn’t see passed the silver waterfall of Sesshomaru’s hair that had fallen around their shoulders like a silken, silver shroud. She tried to turn her head to see him, but she was trapped. The moment she attempted to move out from under him, the weight on her back became unsteady. She stilled, too late. Sesshomaru tilted to the side. He was falling!
“Sesshomaru!”
The inugami landed beside her, curling on his side. She couldn’t see his face, his long hair covering his proud visage. Kagome gently pressed his hair behind his ear. So soft. Like silk. Worry pinched her brows as she saw that his eyes were closed. Lips parted, she detected a sheen of sweat glistening on his brow.
“Sesshomaru, speak to me! Can you hear me?” she called, desperate, placing a hand on his wide shoulder.
“Must you screech…so loudly?” he grouched, voice strained. He shifted as though to rise, only to fall back to the ground in a boneless heap.
“You are not alright! What’s happening?”
Amber glinted from slitted eyes. She felt him grab her wrist, and with a grunt, he yanked her down to him. His arms came around her, and suddenly, they were enveloped by a white light. An orb of energy surrounded them, and Kagome knew they were airborne.
SHE HAS BEEN absent too long.
Sesshomaru frowned up at the numerous branches above, not really seeing the lush leaves, a vibrant green bathed in the golden rays of the sun that peaked through. Exhaustion pulled at his very bones as he rested the back of his head against the massive trunk of the god tree. Beneath him, he sat on the thick roots curled around the tree’s base.
He’d been here before—with the miko.
Where was she? She was only supposed to be gone a short while. After his spell had collapsed and Sesshomaru had used what little strength he had remaining, he’d taken them to the only place he could think of that was away from the death and ash of all that his miko had once held dear. Wanting to save her from further pain.
Ridiculous.
All he’d done was expend more energy than he’d had to give. Leaving him weak, and for what, he sneered. The miko’s home was gone, the villagers nothing but rotting corpses. Relocating them had been a waste of energy.
To add insult to injury, she’d gone back, anyway.
He refused to admit that he might be worried about her even as he tilted his head back to scent the air, while allowing his senses to stretch outward, feeling for any danger that might have waylaid Kagome. Nothing. He settled back against the tree, inwardly cursing his fatigue.
The time distortion spell required a massive amount of youki. Few had the power to pay the heavy price. Even less could sustained it as long as he had. A foolish risk. No, not so. A weak grin pulled one side of his mouth. Lingering, forcing his miko to watch her sister’s debauchery, had been worth the cost.
The bond between sisters was frayed. He’d seen it in Kagome’s shuttered expression.
Sesshomaru was determined to see the ties that bound the two women was severed completely.
Kagome was his.
Come, aijin. he called to her. Return to me.
Surely, she’d located what she needed. Supplies, perhaps more information of Kikyo’s passing through the wreckage while Sesshomaru rested. The distance between them was great, but with his mark of possession, she sensed him, and he sensed her acknowledgment in return, like insect wings against the back of his mind.
Without realizing he did so, he dozed, only to awaken when something disturbed him. Even in his exhausted state, his instincts were strong. His eyes flashed open, bleeding crimson as he curled his lips back to reveal his fangs in a soundless snarl.
Kagome gasped and fell back a step with a hand fluttering over her rapidly beating heart that he could hear from yards away.
Instantly, his face reverted to normal. Instead, he smiled, a small curvature meant to entice her forward. With a flick of his wrist, he beckoned her closer. She eyed him warily before obeying. When she stopped at the base of the tree, the high roots separating them, he murmured, “Come to me.”
She had to climb several, gnarled roots to reach him. When she did, he grabbed for her. She made a small sound of surprise but didn’t fight him when he positioned her on his lap. She helped him when he pulled on her pack filled with supplies without a word. It went on one side of his hip, and after shrugging off her quiver of arrows and bow, they rested on the opposite side.
Wrapping her in his arms, he buried his nose in her hair without preamble, inhaling her sweet scent. Even with the smell of death and ash, she was decadent.
“Uh, Sesshomaru?”
He leaned down further, moving her braid aside with his nose to reveal her pale throat. Her pulse quickened where he kissed her. “Hn?”
“What are you doing?”
With a gentle tug, he parted the folds of her haori, just enough to expose his mark. Her flesh was weak. A youkai would have healed from such a paltry wound long ago, but the injury was still present, the punctures scabbed over. The flesh surrounding his bit was marked with bluish bruising. His mark would scar, he saw with satisfaction. Unable to deny himself the pleasure, he lapped at the wound with his tongue gently.
She flinched, lifting her shoulder to impede him. That wouldn’t do. Frowning, he pulled her arm down and continued running his tongue along the mark.
“Sesshomaru.” His name came out as a breathless moan.
“Let me soothe your hurts,” he whispered huskily. Not a lie, but he needed to taste her, craved to bathe her deeper in his scent.
Her breath hitched. “I’m fine!” When she tried to pull away from him, he tightened his arms, but he did lift his head from her neck, licking his lips for one last taste of her sweetness.
“I CAN HEAR your thoughts racing. Tell me what has drawn you away from me.”
Kagome turned her head to eye Sesshomaru over her shoulder. “Am I projecting?” She hadn’t though she was.
His answered, “No,” made her breathe out a quite sigh. His arms squeezed around her, letting her know that he’d felt that small, telltale response. “However, even without words, you express your moods loudly.”
Kagome grimaced, ceding the point. Not only was she a terrible liar, hiding her feelings was beyond her. But did she really want to confide in Sesshomaru of all people? Only for her to realize…
There’s no one left, she thought sadly.
Kaede was gone. So were all the villagers. And Kikyo was nowhere around. There was only Sesshomaru.
“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking,” she hedged, hunching her shoulders defensively.
“About Kikyo.”
Of course, he knew, she thought. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, but she nodded.
“Tell me.”
The words exploded from her, surprising her. Horrifying her. Yet the relief she felt was undeniable. “Kikyo spoke of vengeance so readily. As if it were the logical choice. As if it were easy.”
“Like she’d done so before.”
Kagome stiffened at his insinuation. “You don’t know that! Kikyo isn’t vengeful.”
“You speak as though in defense of her honour when there was no attack, implied or otherwise.”
“Then what would you call it?” she asked, angry.
“Merely an observation.”
Kagome shook her head, not wishing to believe it of the sister she looked up to all her life. “I think she was in shock.” Even as she said it, she heard the doubt in her own voice.
These were not men… They are monsters. I exterminate monsters. It is my duty. As a miko. As a sister.
I seek vengeance.
There had been no hesitation in Kikyo, only a deadly calm, a resolute resolve.
If Sesshomaru heard her self-doubt, he was kind enough not to point it out—for once. Instead, he asked, “Do you think less of her for seeking vengeance?”
“I…”
“She does it for you.”
I do this for you.
Kagome flinched. “That’s not what I want!” Her voice was a harsh rasp, remembering the slaughter of Onigumo’s men, of Sesshomaru’s gift to her. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold despite the warmth of his embrace.
Sesshomaru said nothing, the silence stretching between them. Kagome couldn’t stand it. Now that she’d spoken, words were pulled from her. Pain. Confusion. A desperate need for understanding.
“Why does everyone seek vengeance?” Her voice cracked. “All that death… It’s pain weaponized, corrupted by anger!” Her voice became small as she huddled into herself. “Kikyo didn’t even hesitate. Not, it’s worse than that. She twists duty for retribution!” Kagome shook her head, incredulous.
“You judge her.”
“No!” Yes. “It is not a miko’s duty to punish the wrongs committed by others. We are not the law!”
“Do miko not punish youkai for their misdeeds against humanity?”
“That’s different!”
“Explain the difference.”
She hesitated, thinking. Before she could formulate her thoughts, Sesshomaru spoke for her. “You rile against the normal order of nature, aijin. Even this human law you so preciously refer to acts as vengeance for those too weak to obtain it for themselves.”
“Vengeance is not justice! Vengeance does nothing but create more vengeance,” she said vehemently. “No matter how self-righteous the reason, the cause is tainted with ill intent. Vengeance always demands a price, often times by those caught in the crossfire, many of which who are innocent bystanders! I refuse to believe that such a vicious cycle is just!” She turned to look at him over her shoulder, boldly meeting his gaze with a demand. “Where does vengeance end and justice begin? The law is impartial. Vengeance is not! Vengeance often demands a comeuppance that is higher than the crime warrants!”
“Is not a life for a life an equivocal exchange? How many have the bandits murdered? Dozens? Hundreds?”
“Justice should be impartial,” she iterated, turning away from Sesshomaru in disgust. Why couldn’t he understand?!
“You speak as though your human laws are without fault. Are not these laws written by the rich and powerful? Taking advantage of those without influence and wealth of their own.”
Kagome’s breath caught. Even in her sheltered existence, she was aware of the injustice permitted by their laws. “That’s not justice, either” she rasped. “Just because bad people abuse their power, that doesn’t mean we should stoop to their level. Two wrongs do not make a right.”
“Perhaps, yet many live by the axiom, an eye for an eye.”
“I don’t.”
His spoke soft, yet it did not blunt the accusation. “So self-righteous.”
She winced. “I didn’t mean it like that…”
“Have you never thought the end justifies the means? Your sister strikes against known criminals. Her actions would save countless innocent lives.”
When Kagome opened her mouth to speak, he spoke over her. “Kikyo had the right of it. You are miko. You are the law against the evil of this world that would strike down the innocent. The bandits reign grows stronger each day. How many more must die needlessly before they are stopped? When all other laws have failed, you must do your duty, miko. Who will save them if not you?”
“You twist everything.” Tears misted her eyes, weariness pulling against her tortured mind. She felt as though they were talking circles around each other, neither willing to concede to the other. What was more, she hated that—in a sense—she could not refute him.
“I distort nothing,” he refuted. “I merely point out the obvious. Your principles greatly differ from your sister’s. Do your objections extend further?”
Kagome knew she was going to regret asking… “What do you mean?”