This was written in response to Riku Ryuu's POV challenge.
Chapter One: Release
If I had known dying was so easy, I would have done it a long time ago. Once you get past the pain of dying, there is this moment of sweet release, where you let go of the worries, the fear, and the agony of living. I’m at this moment now, swimming in an ocean of blissful nothing. For the first time in years I am numb. My heart, my thrice damned heart, no longer aches with the pain of loss. It no longer cries out in vain for the man who is long gone.
Inuyasha.
I laugh, and the sound bubbles up out of my throat and past my bloody lips. Looking up from where I lie on the grass, I can see the sky through the leafy canopy of the trees. The clouds. It’s a beautiful summer day outside and for the first time in a long time I can enjoy it. I revel in the sound of the long grasses’ whisper as they wave in the wind. The chipper sound of bird calls as they soar on a breeze. The scent of wild flowers envelops me; they smell so sweet and fresh that it brings a rush of hot tears to my eyes. Is this what I have been missing? I had been living in a cold world of gray for so long now. Nothing could touch me, nothing could warm me.
But death shatters such boundaries. It transcends. The fog is lifted, the pain is gone. All that is left is this sweet, sweet release.
God, it’s beautiful.
And I’m dying.
I close my eyes against the light of day, open my hands wide, palms up. I know I will see you on the other side, my loves. Tears of joy seep out from my tightly closed lids, cutting down the sides of my face.
I breathe out.
And then? I am no more.