Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. All credit belongs to Takahashi, Rumiko-sensei.
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Kagome gazed at the Bone-Eater’s Well, eyes unseeing, mind heavy. A waft of breeze billowed flower petals all around her, and a familiar gruff voice broke through her musings.
“What are you doing here all alone, Kagome? It’s getting dark…you know it’s dangerous around this time.”
“I’m just…can I ask you a question, Inuyasha?” Kagome began to explain, but instead turned to smile at the red clad hanyō with a thoughtful expression.
“You’re going to ask anyway even if I refuse, ain’t ya? What is it?” Mirth was belying Inuyasha’s miffed tone, his lips curved in a half-grin.
“Do you think your father loved both yours and Sesshōmaru’s mother?” Her tone was serious, her stare contemplating. It took Inuyasha aback for a fragment of a second.
“What? Why are you asking such nonsense, woman? How should I know that? I never met the old man!” Inuyasha’s eyes had grown wide at the strange question. He was quite sensitive when it came to matters regarding his parents, but deep down his discomfort came from another source. He may act in an oblivious manner at times, but he was not stupid. He knew why the miko asked such a thing. After the well had closed, effectively trapping her in this time, she had been expecting an answer from him – one he delayed in giving for fear of losing her from his side.
“I wonder sometimes… He already had a mate and an heir. Why leave them in favor of a ningen hime no less? He must have known the repercussions of his actions. Did he not love them? Did they not love him in turn? Is that the reason Sesshōmaru became so cold and misanthropic?” Her questions were more addressed to herself than the inuyōkai listening carefully. Still, Inuyasha answered.
“Keh, I don’t know… I remember my mother faintly. She was beautiful and kind. It’s no wonder the old man fell in love with her. As for Sesshōmaru…when I met him, he was the same cruel bastard that he is now. I’ve never met his mother, but if she’s anything like him…I can’t blame the old man.” Inuyasha exhaled a deep sigh, his eyes softening at the memory of his beloved mother.
“Look, those things happened a long time ago. There is no point in digging up the past now. Let it go… I’ll wait for you in Kaede’s hut, but if you take much longer, I’ll come drag you there myself!” It was half-joke and half-warning. He then turned his back, leaving her to ponder on her thoughts alone. The weird mood the miko was in lately was making him uncomfortable to be near her.
“Alright, I won’t take long.” Kagome nodded her agreement as her mind resumed her strange musings. An image of what Inu no Taishō must have looked like appeared on the front of her thoughts – a mix of Sesshōmaru and Inuyasha. Tall and lean-muscled with an ethereal yet slightly rugged beauty. Silver-silk hair, gold-metal eyes, burgundy stripes, soft fur draped on his wide shoulders, gleaming armor covering his lithe form. He must have been a sight to behold. Any woman, even more so a human woman unaccustomed to such perfection, would have fallen victim to such lures.
“We have much in common, don’t we, Izayoi-san?” Kagome laughed tonelessly then opened her eyes to gaze at the sacred tree that had sealed her heart along with the hanyō trapped on its bark fifty years ago. He had been her beginning in more ways than she could count. Companionship, friendship, love. Yet now it was time to make it her end as well. He would never grace her with the latter, at least not in the way she craved, so she had to be content with the former two. They were all she had left to hope for and she would not throw them away in misguided impulse and wounded pride.
Exhaling a long sigh, she shook her head to clear all remaining thoughts of the bitter truth. She was not the one Inuyasha had chosen and she would never be the one he turned to for comfort either after the loss of his first true love. Perhaps, it was for the best as well. Her heart constricted painfully at the reminder of the other miko. Was this how Sesshōmaru’s mother had felt when her mate chose another? No, she must have felt a thousand times worse… Inu no Taisho was her mate, not a hopeless dream she had reveled in for a time. Perhaps, she had more in common with the unknown woman than with Izayoi after all…
Kagome began her slow retreat back to the village still plagued with dark musings of illicit affairs and unattainable dreams. As she was reaching the familiar, old hut, a large shadow passed through her clouded vision, forcing her head up to gaze at the reason.
“Sesshōmaru…” Soft-voiced, full of awe, she peered at him under her lashes.
A smile curled the corners of her lips as her previous thoughts resurfaced, forlorn and strained, but she froze when he cast down half-lidded eyes to meet her gaze. There was unnamed emotion in the gold of his eyes, but she could not decipher what was hidden there as was always the case with him. He was a difficult man to understand and Kagome had never actually made the effort. Yet now that the question had snaked its way into her mind, she found herself curious in knowing the answer to the enigma that was the daiyōkai. What had made him assume this stoic and dispassionate demeanor? Luckily for her, she had all the time in the world to break through his hardened shell, she thought, smiling at the prospect. It would prove a great way to distract herself from the loneliness that awaited her from now on as well.