Hello! Theia here! This little fluffshot was written for the 2012 Dokuga Exchange. The recipient was Insomniac_amy. Happy holidays!
- o0o -Kagome slowly exhaled, trying to calm her racing heart at the thought of crossing off the last unfulfilled New Year's resolution on her list. Christmas was approaching in a few days and if she didn't seize this last opportunity, she feared she would never work up the courage to do what needed to be done. Under normal circumstances, Kagome would have already completed everything on her list halfway through the year, but this time, with this particular resolution, it was difficult in more ways than one.
She had longed to accomplish that mission for many years, but Kagome had always been a coward, too afraid of shaking up the status quo, or flat out ruining it, but after standing in the sidelines, waiting for so long with no progress, she made it a resolution to be courageous. Now, it was time to find the answer to her long overdue question once and for all.
Kagome liked him, but did he like her?
Nervously, she waited for him to show up, running a finger over the rim of her coffee lid. She was already seated at their customary table by the window, along with Sesshoumaru, the other member of the trio. He appeared relaxed as he sipped at his beverage, long hair, shimmering in silver, flowed over the back of his chair to lightly dust at the floor.
"So," she began, anxiously twirling a strand of inky hair between her fingers. "Do you think he'll say yes?" Kagome nibbled at her lower lip thoughtfully. "I mean, it's only dinner with Mama ... and Grandpa... and Souta. Nothing new. Nothing too outrageous. Right, Sesshoumaru?"
The demon sitting across from her blinked placidly, electing to continue staring at the wall of windows behind her.
"Hey!" Kagome snapped her fingers in front of his face before pointing to an object at the next table over. "Don't make me take that newspaper on the table and rap you on the head with it, mister!"
“You won’t,” he replied drolly. “You never do.”
“But I--I--well-oh!” She exclaimed in frustration. “Sesshoumaru, I could really, really use your help and support here. I just really want him to say yes. I mean, what if I say it the wrong way? What if he says no? What if he has never once, after all this time, liked me that way and he's just been pretending or what if he thinks I'm ugly and--"
He merely quirked a single brow at her and she stopped in her tracks, suddenly slumping forward so fast her head hit the table with a thunk. "You're right. That was stupid. I'm just so worried that my years of crushing on him was in complete vain. He must've told you something, right? After all, he's your brother."
"Half-brother."
"Semantics," Kagome replied, but before she could further agitate Sesshoumaru with her incessant concerns, the cafe door jingled and her gaze automatically flickered to the person inside. At the silver hair and his trademark red jacket, she gasped in a mixture of excitement and apprehension, watching as he surveyed his surroundings, searching for her until their eyes met from across the room. She never knew why he did that since she always sat at the table, but she assumed it was so he could appear suave.
Nearly hyperventilating at this point, Kagome turned to look at Sesshoumaru. "He's coming! What should I do? How do I act? What should I say?! Sesshoumaru!"
He suppressed a sigh. "Breathing is usually a good start."
"Right. Right," Kagome muttered, repeatedly drawing in deep breaths while exhaling sharply as she attempted to calm down. Her overdramatic demeanor suddenly came to an abrupt stop when Inuyasha dropped down into the seat beside her, barely sparing a glance in Sesshoumaru's direction.
The siblings had never gotten along, but it had always been for the sake of Kagome that they dealt with each other on a daily basis. For some odd reason, she had been stubborn in wanting to befriend the both of them at the tender age of five and though Inuyasha remembered his older half-brother resisting, Kagome had eventually wormed her way into Sesshoumaru's twelve year old heart.
Inuyasha's heart hadn't escaped unscathed either because Kagome was a wonderful friend, one he was extremely thankful to have. She was always very considerate, like how she always made it a habit of buying him coffee at the cafe when they meet up and remembering exactly how he likes it, but he supposed that was just part of her charm.
"Hi Kags," he greeted simply, reaching for the cup of coffee he knew was his. Inuyasha glanced at his brother, noticing an odd tick in his tense jaw, signifying a mild annoyance, but he wasn't sure what that would be and paid it no mind. Sesshoumaru's attitude had always been odd and sometimes downright insufferable, but for Kagome, Inuyasha could grin and bear the presence of his brother for a few additional hours a day.
She smiled. "Hi Inuyasha."
"What's going on?" He asked, taking a sip from his styrofoam cup.
"Well, I... kind of have something important to ask you," Kagome began slowly, choosing her words carefully.
Inuyasha didn't respond as he stared at her expectantly while Sesshoumaru's fingers tightened just a fraction of an inch around his cup, the action completely unnoticed by the duo gazing at each other.
"I was just wondering... if you'd like to have dinner with me and my family on Christmas Eve."
Inuyasha smiled. "Sure. Isn't that what we do every year anyway?"
Kagome nervously wrapped both hands around her cup, warming her trembling fingers as her next words came out soft as a whisper. "As, like... a date."
He froze, cup raised to his lips, as he blinked rapidly, unable to absorb her words in a way that he comprehended. When the meaning sunk in, Inuyasha choked on his coffee, liquid splattering as he slammed the cup back on the table. As he coughed uncontrollably, Kagome frantically patted him on the back, causing Sesshoumaru to snort with indignation.
"Are you okay?!" Kagome cried out in concern, soothingly rubbing his back with her hand.
"Yes," Inuyasha croaked out, voice slightly raw and quivering as coughs continued to rack through his body.
"... Is that a yes to being okay or a yes to my date?" She asked, hands still but lingering.
His thoughts were racing a mile per minute. Her question had been completely unexpected and Inuyasha wasn't sure how to respond. She was his best friend and only his best friend. He couldn't see her as anything but and yet, he didn't want to hurt her with his rejection. She was beautiful and smart and lovely, but he just didn't have those types of feelings for her - not for lack of trying either. He opened his mouth to explain why he couldn't accept her offer but an image of her heartbroken face flashed through his mind and he stopped. Mentally wincing at the prospect of it all, Inuyasha answered with a slight tremble in his voice.
"Both..."
The moment it escaped his lips, Inuyasha regretted it. The wave of happiness that washed over her filled him with guilt, but there was nothing he could do about it. He glanced at Sesshoumaru and was startled to find the intensity of his stare boring into him, as if he knew Inuyasha's panicked thoughts at that very moment.
Still, it was too late to take it back and it was with dread that Inuyasha endured the coy glances and flushed cheeks coming from Kagome for the duration of their day together.
Sesshoumaru glanced at the clock on his desk for the umpteenth time, wondering when Inuyasha was going to leave on his date with Kagome. His Kagome. His fingers curled into a tight fist at the thought of losing her to Inuyasha, but it hadn't been a surprise. He had always known of her long time crush on the boy, often times acting as her confidant when she needed to express her feelings about the hanyou. Throughout the years, Kagome had never once noticed that he was fighting his own attraction to her, had never realized that she was his sunshine.
He could no longer remember when his love for Kagome started, but to him, it felt like he had always loved her and perhaps he had. Perhaps he had fallen for her the moment she had flashed him that mesmerizing smile at a mere five years of age. Sesshoumaru had tried to convince himself to move on, that she was too young for him at seven years apart, but his heart spoke differently, always holding on to that small glimmer of hope.
Despite his efforts, he simply could not forget her and even with his subtle attempts at revealing himself to her, Kagome was still blind to his affections as she only had eyes for Inuyasha.
Again, he glanced at the time, eyes narrowed suspiciously as the clock ticked close to the time of Kagome's date. Inuyasha was cutting it awfully close. If he didn't speed up, he would be late and Kagome would be forced to wait for him in the cold.
Sesshoumaru watched as the minutes ticked by, dreading the moment he would hear the front door slam, but strangely enough, the silence gave the impression that Inuyasha wasn't planning on leaving. Frowning slightly in confusion, he exited his room, intent on finding out what was going on. Had Kagome cancelled on Inuyasha? It didn't hurt to hope, after all.
He turned the corner and spotted Inuyasha pacing outside his own bedroom, dressed far too casually for a date with a girl to meet her family on Christmas Eve. Something was not right, Sesshoumaru deduced.
"Should you not be on your way?" He asked, feigning indifference.
Inuyasha whirled around in surprise. "I...," He paused, unsure of what to say. He was a wreck. He knew he couldn't go through with the date. It would give Kagome the wrong impression and hurt her even more in the process, but he couldn't bear the thought of breaking the news to her either. Call him a coward, but if he didn't have to see the sadness flashing across her face, then he could delude himself into thinking that she would be okay with his absence. "I'm not going..."
Sesshoumaru quirked an eyebrow in surprise. "You canceled the date?"
"No," Inuyasha replied cautiously, drawing out the word slowly.
"You did not cancel the date?"
"I can't do it, Sesshoumaru," he admitted. "I just... can't. She's my best friend. Nothing more, but I can't hurt her. I thought I could do this, but it would be wrong to lead her on, wouldn't it?"
Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at Inuyasha, suppressing the anger he could feel bubbling to the surface. "Did you or did you not cancel?"
Inuyasha shook his head. "I didn't, but I can't go. I can't stand to know that I'll hurt her. I don't even want to imagine the look on her face."
Before Sesshoumaru could even realize what he was doing, he had grabbed Inuyasha by the neck of his shirt and slammed him into the wall, pure fury coursing through his veins. "And you would leave her in the cold to wait for you when you do not plan to show? Tell me how that would diminish her pain! You are a coward, Inuyasha, and undeserving of even her friendship."
He raised a tight fist, face twisted in rage, but Inuyasha simply stared at him, as if silently urging him to land a physical blow to compensate for the heartbreak he would cause Kagome. It made Sesshoumaru pause as he realized it would give Inuyasha another easy way out and it was something he refused to grant the hanyou. With a growl, Sesshoumaru slammed his fist into the wall beside Inuyasha's head before releasing him and taking a step back, but Inuyasha remained motionless.
Sesshoumaru turned his disgust filled eyes away and hurried back to his room for a jacket before rushing out the door. Unlike Inuyasha, he would not let Kagome wait in the cold in vain. He may not be who she was expecting, but at least she would not be alone.
Kagome had worn a new dress with warm leggings and a scarf, the one that Mama had told her brought out the blue in her eyes, as she waited for Inuyasha to show up at the willow tree by the lake in the park. Her heart thundered in her chest, pulse beating in her ears even as her breaths frosted in the cold air. She bounced on the balls of her feet, the heels of her boots making crunching noises against the powdered snow.
Her eyes were bright with anticipation as she waited - this would be their first date, after all - and she resolutely refrained from checking her watch. Kagome firmly believed that Inuyasha would show, but as time passed and the sky continually grew darker, her eyes dimmed in tandem. She chased away the doubts that gnawed at her, but they came back full force with each passing minute until a lone tear slipped down her frozen cheek, knowing she had waited far longer than she should have.
She brushed it away with icy fingers, sniffling slightly as she turned to go when she heard the sound of rushed footsteps coming from behind her.
"Kagome, wait!" The low words wafted across the snowy air, but the voice was not the one she had been expecting and she whirled around in surprise.
"S-Sesshoumaru?" Kagome blinked in amazement. What was he doing here?
"Come. We're running late." He grabbed her hand with a fluidity that made her gasp as he walked past her without pausing. His grip was warm against the biting chill, but tight enough to leave her jogging after him to keep up with his quick pace.
"Wait. Wait!" Kagome pulled her hand forcefully from his grasp, stumbling to a stop as Sesshoumaru turned to face her. "What's happening? Where's Inuyasha and why are you here?"
He pursed his lips in response. "The insolent pup was a coward and could not show his face, not when he had agreed to something he didn't feel he would be able to do." Sesshoumaru remained impassive, his body turned straight ahead. Only his silky hair, whipping in the wind, moved.
Unable to comprehend, Kagome looked up at him, dread curling in her stomach. "What do you mean? Dinner with me and my family?"
"No, Kagome." He reached for her hand again ever-so-gently this time, encompassing it with his warm, larger ones. "He did not know how to let you down lightly. He said yes, but could not face you or the consequences that came with his actions."
"You mean the date...," Kagome murmured, realization dawning. The hurt that swept across her was staggering as the hope she had been carrying for the past several days came crashing down upon her. She didn't understand. Was there something wrong with her?
A stifled sob escaped her throat before she could even comprehend she was crying, but Sesshoumaru immediately moved to frame her face with his hands, swiping at her tears with his thumb. Her lower lip trembled as she stared up at him and he was slammed with the desire to take away every ounce of sadness radiating from within her.
Before he could second guess himself, he pulled Kagome against him, embracing her as she cried into his chest. He wrapped his arms securely around her, burying his nose against her scarf to breathe in her scent as Kagome bunched the fabric at his hips in her hands, her entire body trembling with the force of her sobs.
Sesshoumaru didn't know how much time had passed before Kagome calmed, pulling away from him in embarrassment as she quickly wiped at her face. His arms fell away from her, dangling awkwardly at his side as she inhaled a shaky breath to compose herself before flashing him a small smile. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru. You didn't have to deliver the message in person though. I'm sure you have your own plans tonight and I'm sorry to have taken you away from them."
He ached to comfort her again, for being so selfless even at a time like his. His hands itched to draw her close to his body once more, but he refrained. He didn't want to move too fast or to scare her away, especially in her current fragile state, but there was something she had to know.
Sesshoumaru cleared his throat before speaking. "I didn't come here because of Inuyasha." He watched the confusion flicker in her eyes before flashing her a hint of a smile. "I... had hoped you would ask me to dinner with your family instead of Inuyasha."
It took her a moment to comprehend the meaning, but a sharp intake of breath revealed when she finally understood. "What?" She whispered. "But..."
"I am to you what you are to Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru explained, gently brushing at a damp spot on her cheek. "I have loved you for longer than I can remember and I will wait for you, but for now... let us not keep your family waiting any longer."
He turned away from her, giving her the space she needed to absorb his confession as he began walking through the park. Kagome stared after him, surprised at what he had hidden for so long while feeling guilty for burdening him in the past with her frequent talks of loving Inuyasha. If it had been her, she would never have been able to keep silent for as long as Sesshoumaru had and she knew he would have continued to keep his feelings a secret if he hadn't had to play her hero today.
With a small smile, Kagome ran to catch up to him, grabbing him by the arm when she was close enough. He stopped at the contact and looked at her questioningly.
"I purposefully scheduled the date a few hours earlier than necessary," Kagome revealed, still smiling despite his dumbfounded look. "Let's spend the time together before dinner."
Sesshoumaru was not Inuyasha, not by any means, but he was a wonderful friend and spending time with him was always a pleasure. For his rescue today and the words that warmed her heart, she could give him happy memories - maybe replacing the ones where she had spoken of nothing but Inuyasha, unknowingly hurting him in the process.
She skipped in front of him before twirling around to look at Sesshoumaru, walking backwards as he continued strolling forward, hands tucked into his pockets. "So what shall we do?"
He paused mid-stride, surprise etched upon his face before a genuine smile appeared. "What would you suggest?"
"I don't know...," Kagome replied with a mysterious smile.
Without warning, she leapt for a willow tree branch, ducking to the side in time to miss the clumps of snow that fell over an unsuspecting Sesshoumaru. At his incredulous expression, snow clinging to his hair and face, Kagome burst into laughter, clutching at her stomach. That laughter gave way to shrieking mock terror when Sesshoumaru chased her around the tree.
He gave her the advantage for a few minutes, enjoying the sound of her laughter, before he abruptly caught her by the waist with a playful growl. Kagome squealed as she fought to escape his grasp, knowing his revenge would be particularly cold after her initial attack. He didn't disappoint as he ruthlessly tossed her to the ground and proceeded to cover her in the pristine snow.
Their mutual laughter echoed across the empty park until Kagome accidentally pushed Sesshoumaru off balance mid-retaliation. He landed on top of her with a grunt and knocked Kagome's breath right out of her, crushed beneath the entirety of his weight.
Slightly dazed from his fall, Sesshoumaru lifted his head to gaze at Kagome, startled by their close proximity. He was near enough to see the sparkle in her eyes, the one that had disappeared when she realized Inuyasha was not coming. Except... the glow seemed brighter somehow and he felt completely mesmerized as his hand moved of its own accord to brush the melting snow off her face.
Kagome's smile slowly faded at the intensity of his stare and she suddenly felt vulnerable beneath him, his hand slowly drifting to tangle itself into her ebony hair. He leaned into her, his warm breath ghosting over her numb skin, and unexpectedly, her heart skipped a beat. She could feel the heat emanating from his lips, hovering directly over hers.
She struggled to control her ragged breathing, her heart pounding so quickly, she knew Sesshoumaru could hear it, could probably feel it through the heavy layers of their clothes. She couldn't prevent the fluttering of her lashes as her eyes slowly closed at the first intimate brush of his lips against hers, the touch so gentle and light, she could barely feel it. Kagome waited for the full pressure of his mouth closing over hers, every nerve in her body coming alive with tingles of exhilaration, but in the next moment, both his comforting heat and the weight of him were gone.
Eyes snapped open in confusion, she sat up to find Sesshoumaru standing at a safe distance away from her, unable to look her in the eye. Kagome couldn't pinpoint the reason for her disappointment, but quickly brushed it off as he held his hand out, lifting her to her feet. "I'm sorry," he said simply, "I don't know what came over me."
Her laugh was awkward and forced as Kagome assured him that all was forgiven, but as they resumed their stroll through the park, the silence was tense in a way it never had been before. Sesshoumaru was mentally scolding himself for losing control, for forcing her into an awkward situation she had not been ready for, and for pushing her too far, too quickly. Kagome peered at him from the corner of her eye, unable to help but wonder what it would have felt like if he had kissed her and how the situation made her feel something she had never felt before - not even when she had imagined Inuyasha being the one to take such liberties upon her.
The sky was completely dark by the time they exited the park, footsteps echoing on the sidewalk as they headed towards the Higurashi shrine. The lights adorning the houses twinkled with Christmas atmosphere, reminding them that this time of the year in particular was meant for cherishing those who meant the most to them. The tension between them slowly dissipated as they pointed out the different decorations to each other, appreciating the efforts of the homeowners who took the time to spread the Christmas cheer.
They fell into conversation as smoothly as they always had; Sesshoumaru making her laugh uncontrollably with his sarcasm and quick wit while Kagome made him chuckle with her passionate views and quirky humor. For the first time, Kagome truly appreciated Sesshoumaru for the man he was and could easily envision herself happy as she walked beside him as his partner.
He was a man who would treasure her well. That was something Kagome would never doubt. His charisma was different from Inuyasha's but, as she was quickly beginning to figure out, also much more charming. She had been so blinded by Inuyasha in the past, she never had the opportunity to see anyone beyond him, but with his harsh rejection, though Inuyasha had not meant it as such, Kagome's eyes had finally opened, enabling her to see past the boy she had known for so many years to the man who had patiently waited for her to notice him.
Kagome could only wonder how she had missed their compatibility before and what would have happened if Inuyasha had shown for his date. The course she could have been on would have been drastically different and, maybe, not in a positive way. She mused about fate as she fell silent, drowning out the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice as she realized that perhaps their path was pre-destined. A simple twist to any occurrence, to any aspect of her life, and her future would change accordingly.
She smiled then, enjoying the thought that maybe it was fate for her to be with Sesshoumaru this Christmas Eve, rather than Inuyasha. They approached the shrine and began ascending the steps as Kagome's heart fluttered with new possibilities. She looked over at Sesshoumaru, who was already staring at her oddly, as though he were trying to figure out her current thoughts, but she gently shook her head and kept walking.
They reached the entrance in silence and Kagome slid the door open without a second thought. "I'm home!" she called out, stepping over the threshold, only for Sesshoumaru to pull her back. Kagome stumbled, but he caught her, the warmth of his touch searing through the layers she wore, almost branding her with the memory of him. She looked up at him questioningly and he nervously straightened his posture to stand tall before her.
"Kagome, if you are willing to give this Sesshoumaru a chance, I would like to take you out to dinner... as a date," he said, his eyes betraying the trepidation of her refusal, but Kagome only glanced at something above them and smiled.
Before Sesshoumaru could see what she was looking at, Kagome cupped his face with her cold hands and gave him a soft kiss before skipping inside with a giggle. Frozen in shock, Sesshoumaru could only lift a hand to his lips, still feeling the light pressure of her mouth as he spied the little green sprig dangling at the shrine entrance, right between where he and Kagome had stood.
Slowly, he smiled, realizing that was Kagome's way of accepting his invitation. Feeling lighthearted for the first time, Sesshoumaru didn't bother to suppress his chuckle as he, too, stepped into the shrine and closed the door behind him, already anticipating his future with Kagome.