Pain by sesshomarusama33

The Questions

I had to write an essay for my English paper, and it was to be a sad, short story of whatever we picked. I got inspired writing my essay, that I wanted to try and write a sad story. I'm trying to put a lot of emotion through this. Any tips, comments and help would be great!

EDIT 4-13-12: Thank you to my amazingly wonderful beta, Stella, for revising my earlier chapters! You are amazing! <3

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She couldn't believe it. How could she had been so blind? She never thought he would do this... never in a million years. He loved her! Didn't he? She asked herself time after time, as Sesshomaru's words played in her head...

"Inuyasha isn't as loyal as you may believe him to be, miko."

How could he have done this to her? Wasn't she good to him? Did she not satisfy him in every way he craved? Day after day, did she not kiss him every second and profess her undying love to him? How could he have crawled to her, of all people? The thought sickened her. The thought that he had even done it made her want to die. There was this big lump in her throat, and a huge knot in her stomach that made her want to take a sharp knife and twist it deep within her stomach, hoping that it would lessen her pain.

She struggled to sit as her mind replayed every single word Inuyasha had ever spoken to her... and the last words Sesshomaru had told her over the phone kept booming in over Inuyasha's voice, echoing and causing her mind to spin vicariously until she felt she was going to throw up.

Why did he go to her? That was the real question. She thought over their entire relationship and tried to find a reason why. She never cheated on him, she never suffocated him, she did everything he asked her to do, she never asked him to do anything for her, she always supported him when he had a new idea, she never refused intimate contact - even if she didn't want it, and she never yelled or hurt him in any way. What was so better about her sister than her?

Was it because her hair was prettier than hers? Was it because her skin was pale and flawless, while hers was tan and rosey? Was it because she was thinner? Was it because she dressed better? Was it because her voice sounded sexier? Was she better in bed? What was it?! It was driving her mad. All her life, her sister had been one upping her, and now that she had taken the love of her life away from her, Kagome just wanted to know why. Why did Kikyo feel the need to take the one true happiness in her life away from her?

Why did Inuyasha feel he had to run to the arms of another woman? Why was it Kikyo, of all women?!He knew how upset she was about her sisters jealousy! How many times did she cry on his shoulder, because she knew she would never amount to Kikyo?

Did he ever really love her? When they made love, did all the sweet whispers mean nothing? She had so many questions, and it seemed no one had the answers.

She couldn't remember how long she had stayed on the phone with Sesshomaru. She was surprised that he had even called her. Hell, she didn't know he even had her phone number. She asked him every question she could think of, and he only had one answer.

"The half-breed is ignorant; His actions are not well thought out, nor do they make any sense. They often tend to be brash and stupid."

Inuyasha had always been brash about small things in the past, but to commit adultery... he had to of at least think about it for awhile. She wanted to know what caused him to go after Kikyo. Who came to who? Knowing her sister, it was probably Kikyo. More importantly, she wanted to know why he didn't leave her, and why he decided to cheat with Kikyo?

Why, why why. That's the only question in her head. In frustration, she took her couch pillow to her face and screamed as loud as she could. She screamed until she couldn't hear antything else. She screamed until fibers of the pillow went into the back of her throat. She screamed until her voice hurt and finally gave out on her, and until she finally collapsed in a fit of violent sobs. Tears were flying down her face in streams, and her heart had never ached more than it had now. She grabbed the pillow and clutched it to her chest, her sobbing never calmed and her tears never stopped. She held onto the pillow like it was her lifeline.

Like it was the only thing that loved her.

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