Sesshoumaru never had a need for a stress squeeze ball since his toad retainer was always on hand, thank you very much. That poor...thing generally took the brunt of Sesshoumaru's anger, it was why he kept Jakken around. Today was one of those days in which the toad served his purpose with flying colors. Rin was giggling as she watched her guardian knock the small frog, who was apologizing profusely, into tomorrow. Why, why was he beating the poor creature?
Perhaps it was because a deranged and stupid Eastern Lord happened upon him when Rin was decorating Sesshoumaru's boots with flowers.
"What is that?" Ryder asked, suddenly appearing with a dramatic cloud of red smoke. The budget of the Eastern Lands were often blown on the kitsune's elaborate entrances.
Ryder was an eccentric, and slightly strange, fox demon. He had bright green eyes that darted here and there, bubbling with mischievous plans and thoughts. They were extraordinary large and always made him look like he was purposely bulging his eyes out of their sockets. Matching emerald green strips jutted across his cheekbones, and a few climbed their way up his arms, making swirly shapes and patterns. He had flaming red hair that was held back in a low pony tail with some escapee bangs that covered his forehead and the green leaf mark that showed his royal birth. He was tall with a long, but well kept, red tail, and wore bright green clothes that stuck out like a sore thumb in spite of the fact that he was standing in a forest.
"Who is she Sesshoumaru?" the chattery demon asked as he lightly picked up Rin by the back of her kimono. "Why is she with you? Why does Jaken look like he's dead? Why do you look angry?" He spoke like a pup who had his first taste of candy ever.
Sesshoumaru, at the time, had given the Eastern Lord a blank look as Ryder's gaze swiveled back and forth between the small human girl that was reaching for his red tail and the icy Western Lord.
"Oh! I get it!" Ryder responded to Sesshoumaru's silence. "She's your pet!" He proudly proclaimed as Sesshoumaru lifted a silvery eyebrow. "Yes, that must be it." Ryder said with a wise nod. "Hmm… A rather expensive and troublesome pet." Ryder said as he whipped his tail away from the child's clutches. "But still a rather cute mammal. Perhaps an older one would be more economic." Ryder concluded.
Sesshoumaru felt dread form in the pit of his stomach. He decided he had better straighten out the stupid fox quickly or he would regret it."Ryder." Sesshoumaru started before he was interrupted.
"Hmm… Well I had better tell the other lords about this! They wouldn't want to be the last to find out about this new rage you're creating, keeping humans as pets that is. My, what a rather smashing idea! I wish I had thought of it first!" Ryder said as Rin happily felt the softness of his silk shirt with dirty little hands. The fox lord set Rin down and bounded off with hand prints on his green kimono, leaving a cooing Rin and an irritated Sesshoumaru behind.
Hence the therapeutic need of Jakken, his stand in stress ball. It was tough being a toad.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Kagome liked chipmunks, she always thought they were cute creatures that had nothing better to do then collect nuts and lecture prying squirrels. She had watched them in her backyard as a child; chipmunks were innocent creatures, right?
"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RODENT!" Inu Yasha hollered as they continued their hot pursuit of the chipmunk.
"Inu Yasha, yelling at it won't help anything!" Kagome shouted at the half dog demon from Kirara's back.
"I can't believe this." Shippo muttered from Kagome's shoulder as he watched the hanyou scramble after a frightened, squeaking chipmunk.
The group had been eating a wonderful lunch consisting of ramen when a small chipmunk appeared near their campfire. Their first reaction had been to ignore it until Kagome screamed that it had exactly five jewel shards packed into the little nut it was clutching in its chubby paws.
Inu Yasha erupted and the frightened rodent shoved the nut in its mouth and took off running.
Sango yawned as she directed Kirara closer to the tree tops. "We've defeated Naraku, freed all of his 'children', and collected his jewel shards all so we can run after a chipmunk. Nice," she said as she watched Miroku attempt to keep up with the group while running on foot. (Needless to tell you his perverted habits had gotten him kicked off of the fire cat.)
The poor little chipmunk increased its speed as they entered a meadow. "Hah!" Inu Yasha cried as he leapt toward the startled mammal. "Now I've got you!" he chortled when suddenly a hard, scaled mass blocked his path.
Inu Yasha slid down a smooth surface and landed on his butt. He craned his head back to gaze up at the giant tail of a purple dragon. The chipmunk had crawled onto the dragon's snout and was currently yelling and lecturing the hanyou in a series of shrieks and squeaks.
"Just our luck." Inu Yasha grumbled. "A chipmunk that has been adopted by a dragon," he said before the long tail of the dragon sent him flying.
The large dragon lumbered to its feet, its black eyes whirling while its purple scales all but glowed in the sunlight. It had to be over thirty stories tall with impressive looking teeth and perfectly sharp claws. Kagome assessed the situation and decided that now would be a perfectly good time for Inu Yasha and the group to run.
"I'm not giving up!" Inu Yasha shouted as he heaved Tetsusaiga out of its sheath, allowing it to grow, Inu Yasha never was that bright.
"Inu Yasha this is asinine!" Kagome shouted as Kirara landed. However, if there is anything Inu Yasha is good at doing it is ignoring Kagome; so into battle he ran, managing to make the enraged dragon even madder.
"Oh Kami-sama." Miroku started. "Grant me a chance to live another day, do not punish me for Inu Yasha's stupidity. I believe he was dropped on his head as a child." He gravely said as Sango snorted while the white haired half demon ran around the meadow, screaming insults at the chipmunk. "Many, many times," Miroku added.
"I think he's going to get the snot pummeled out of him." Sango observed as she watched the dragon smash the hanyou into the ground like Kagome would after taking a math test.
"You're probably right. We'll be fine though as long as it doesn't get mad at us." Kagome said with a sigh.
Now on this particular day fate was feeling very nasty, so of course one of Miroku's seemingly harmless strips of muddled paper had to go flying across the meadow, and of course it just happened to get plastered to the crying chipmunk's eyes. The chipmunk screamed bloody murder, yes it is possible for a mammal to scream… just ask this group, and the dragon snorted and looked back to see Kagome, Sango, Kirara, Shippo, and Miroku.
The dragon glared, it was in a particular bad mood since the several hundred pounds of fish it had eaten that morning weren't agreeing with it, not to mention that the dragon's adopted chipmunk was crying because of some stupid humans. With this the dragon resolved to get rid of them, and did so by blasting a giant ball of raw energy toward them.
And all of this just over an acorn.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Lord Sesshoumaru closed his eyes as he fought the urge to solidly thump Lord Ryder. It was a month ago that Ryder had stumbled upon the unsuspecting dog demon and Rin, it was just a month ago that Sesshoumaru was being left alone, quite happily, by the other lords of Japan. Never, in all of his long life, had Sesshoumaru longed for the past as he did now. (If only he had some sort of magical item, a well if you will, that would let him travel back in time to strangle Ryder before the big mouthed kitsune passed his made up story all across Japan.)
"My last pet is called Stupid Head." Ryder proudly announced as the lords oohed and ahed over a bumbling, bald farmer that scratched his dry scalp as he stared at the youkai lords before him. Ryder had just spent the past half hour parading his pets up and down the hallway. Most of them were teenage girls, but Ryder had noticed that the other lords picked a variety of pets, so he started to do so too.
Sesshoumaru let a small growl rumble in his throat, he had been locked up with the lords for the better part of the morning. First Lord Spiro, the energetic Southern Lord and a raccoon demon, had given a 'thrilling' account of how he had attempted to capture an old, decrepit miko. (And failed.) He did this while his four pets: a set of 16 year old girl twins, an old scary lady, and a wildly laughing twenty year old girl, all walked around as the lords observed them.
Then Lady Lila, a swan demon and the Lady of the North, displayed her six pets: two teenage girls, three men in their early twenties and one randomly bald old man who was supposed to be a monk. (Sesshoumaru could have sworn he saw the old man before, on a previous trip to Lila's castle, tending to the evergreen trees in the gardens.)
The morning had not exactly been exhilarating or stimulating in any sort of way.
"What about you Lord Sesshoumaru?" Spiro questioned, his dark black eyes blinking. "What about your pet?"
"She's a little girl, the youngest pet by far!" Ryder whispered loudly in a not so whispering tone.
"Yes Sesshoumaru." Lady Lila said as she moved a bit, sending a few white feathers into the air. "You are the only one who has a pet. Not that it matters much, every possible type human, excluding a miko, has been made into a pet." Lila airily said.
"I find it unnecessary to keep another human around," Sesshoumaru tightly said.
"That's to bad. They are such fun to play dress up with," Lila said in a sad tone.
"You might want to consider getting another one," Lord Spiro suggested. "I heard that they get lonely unless they have other pets to talk to," he said as if he was enlightening Sesshoumaru on a great secret.
Sesshoumaru turned his icy golden gaze onto to Southern Lord, internally wondering why the lords were there. Oh yes, they randomly showed up on his lawn and pounded on the door, stepping on Jaken in the process, demanding entrance.
"Eheh… it's just a suggestion," Spiro said as he gave a nervous smile, his black hair sticking up while he blinked, making his black markings/mask around his silver blue eyes more apparent.
Lord Sesshoumaru growled deep in his throat, this was going to be a very long day. His amber eyes flicked back and forth between the lords and lady until they all shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, Sesshoumaru's gaze has a way of doing that to you, you know.
"Well we had best be going!" Lady Lila said as she hastily stood, grabbing the two lords as she proceeded to drag them out of the room, their pets trailing behind.
"Hey wait I didn't get to tell you how I caught Stupid Head!" Ryder protested .
Sesshoumaru's long ears twitched and for the first time he wished that he didn't have such good hearing. Then the voice of the annoying fox would be long gone. Sesshoumaru stood and gazed out the window, stiffening as he surveyed his lands. "I have not made a patrol since last month," he said. It would serve as a believeable excuse to get him out of the castle and away from the other lords. After all you cannot have the Western lands in an uproar, even if the other lords and ladies allow it in their own lands.
Sesshoumaru walked out to the patio and gathered his tail around him. He was about to leap into the sky and summon his cloud when Rin came loping into the room and attached herself to her guardian's leg.
"Take me with Lord Sesshoumaru!" The tiny girl begged with a smile that was missing a few teeth. "Oh, but Jakken is dead," she added with a big nod. "But he's buried now so it's okay. His tongue was hanging out… he looked like a toad," she chattered as she continued to clutch Sesshoumaru's pant leg while he summoned the cloud.
The small girl never considered it strange that as she animatedly told Sesshoumaru exactly how deep she had buried the frog the ground was rapidly whizzing by under her feet. The small girl had the up most trust and respect for the silent demon lord, and it was well placed.
Sesshoumaru cocked his head, watching his lands as he half listened to Rin as she told him about various torture methods she had used on his retainer.
"Forest, trees, human village, river, injured girl, cliff…" Sesshoumaru brought the cloud to a stop and turned around. "A girl?" He silently questioned himself. He looped back and lowered the cloud so it was hovering mere inches off the ground before he dismissed it.
Rin had stopped chattering upon landing and she looked around curiously for whatever had made her guardian stop. She immediately spotted a human girl. "Kagome!" she joyously cried out as she skipped over to the lady.
Kagome was half in/half out of the river. Her beautiful cobalt blue eyes were shut, and her silky black hair was sprayed over the sharp rocks that surrounded her. Her waist down was submerged into the river which poured over her icy cold body. Her unusually short clothes had been ripped and torn to shreds (making them even more scandelous than usual) and the girl's usual yellow lump that was constantly with her was strangely missing.
Rin gently patted Kagome's cheek with a chubby hand as Sesshoumaru summoned his cloud and wordlessly rose into the sky.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rin try to pull the miko from the river as he looked for the cause that separated the priestess from his retarded and mentally unstable half brother.
Sesshoumaru was no fool; he knew that wherever the miko was he was sure to find his sibling. Above the cliff was a forest with a meadow a few feet in. Most of the meadow was burnt, by a dragon it seemed from the scent in the air.
Sesshoumaru sniffed the air a few more times, it appeared as though the human girl had been knocked away from the rest of the group, Sesshoumaru could barely detect his brother who was at least two mile away.
He rode his cloud back onto the ground as Rin continued to tug on the unconscious girl's arm. "Come Rin," Sesshoumaru ordered.
Rin paused. "But Kagome is hurt...Can we take her home with us!" she hopefully asked.
Sesshoumaru stared at his young charge as if she had grown another head. "No," he firmly said, anxious to get out of there. He could smell Ryder in the general area and the last thing he needed was that dratted fox popping out, proclaiming-
"Sesshoumaru, you caught a miko!" an excited voice overhead loudly yelled.
It was official, Sesshoumaru was cursed.
"This is so wonderful! This makes up for you only having two pets!" the Eastern Lord chirped as he fell out of a tree and landed with a solid "Oomph" next to Sesshoumaru.
Ryder stood up and elegantly brushed himself off as though it had never happened. He then walked over to the miko/girl and inspected her, sniffing her scent. "Yep! Definitely a miko," he said with a nod as though he was an expert. "Only priestesses bother to keep themselves so clean," he said as he turned to face Sesshoumaru while he jerked his thumb behind him to point at the girl.
"So we are keeping Kagome?" Rin happily asked.
"N-"
"Of course he is!" Ryder brightly said before loudly whispering to Sesshoumaru. "See! Spiro was right; it's good that you have two pets now so they can keep each other company," the red haired kitsune said as Rin clapped and jumped up and down.
Sesshoumaru frowned, there had to be some way around this. He was the Western lord so perhaps he could decapitate the kitsune and claim that the Eastern Lord had gone mad, which wouldn't have been so hard to believe. However, then he would have to deal with talking to the new Eastern Lord and that was more work than Sesshoumaru was willing to go through. He had met Ryder's younger, even louder and more mischievous brother, horrors; he was far worse than Ryder. Perhaps he would take the girl and lock her up in the dungeon.
"Well Sesshoumaru I'm betting you'll want to head home!" Ryder said as he slapped the dog demon on the back. "After all it's going to be difficult to get this miko to obey you, but I'm positive that you'll be able to make her heel! Besides, I want to go tell the other lords the good news!" Ryder said with a wink. "Ta, ta!" he said before disappearing in a loud explosion of smoke.
Sesshoumaru frowned as his nose twitched at the slightly stale scent of the smoke, wondering how the fox could possibly afford his army with his ridiculous entrances and exits.
He looked with great apprehension at the young lady that was still in the river next to Rin. Rin gave her guardian a grin, delight filling her eyes as Sesshoumaru heaved a sigh and lifted the soaking wet girl up, hefting her over his shoulder. He summoned his cloud and Rin hopped on, telling Sesshoumaru all the wonderful things she and Kagome would do to Jaken.
Sesshoumaru frowned as his castle came into sight. "She is not going to be pleased after waking up," he thought.
That was a vast understatement.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Kagome bellowed like a dying ox as she pounded her hands on a giant wooden door that was over twice her height.
The girl had been placed in a large spacious room that had a giant bed, a wooden armoire full of silk kimonos, and a large mirror. There were beautiful stained glass windows and a pretty patio that overlooked the gardens, but Kagome did not care about the windows or patio. She cared about the jeweled collar that was fastened on her neck.
Kagome had noticed it upon first waking up after she gazed into the mirror. It was black and covered with diamonds, a small crescent moon charm hung from the center. However, what was most interesting about it was that the buckle in back had been melted off!
Kagome woke up to large, ugly, yellow eyes, and the most unpleasant smell. She blinked and to her surprise she saw the little green guy (the Yoda look alike) that usually followed Inu Yasha's brother, Sesshoumaru, around. What was his name? Jack? Jake? Junk? Oh yes, Jakken. After seeing Jakken, Kagome released a loud, shrill scream.
Upon seeing/hearing that she was awake Jakken quickly squeaked out out, "You, lucky human, have been graciously taken under Lord Sesshoumaru's care. You're now his pet," before he ran out, his stubby legs carrying him as fast as he could as Kagome processed what he just said.
He was exiting the door when Kagome suddenly stood and roared, galloping to the door which was promptly slammed and locked in her face.
That brings us up to speed, where Kagome continued to pound on the door for at least an hour. "SESSHOUMARU!" Kagome roared, sounding very much like a lion.
To her surprise the door opened and a very angry looking Sesshoumaru entered the room. "You will cease this howling like some kind of injured monkey, human," he growled as he slapped his hand over her mouth, effectively cutting off whatever she was going to say.
Kagome blinked, about to scoff, when the prickling of his claws on her mouth reminded her that this was not Inu Yasha, and she had no subduing spell.
Sesshoumaru's eyes were an icy amber and his long silver hair streamed out behind him as he proudly towered over her, looking threatening and still magnificent at the same time.
Kagome trembled and Sesshoumaru's eyes turned triumphant as he started to smirk. He could smell the fear permeating her scent, it would be easy to break her will, the only real annoyance he would have to deal with was his winy, brain damaged, half sibling.
He continued to smugly smirk when to his surprise Kagome bit down on his hand, hard. Sesshoumaru blinked, clearly surprised, disgusted, and offended.
"I am not a monkey," Kagome informed the silver haired lord.
He pushed her to the ground; not roughly, just enough to send her kneeling without hurting her. "Learn your place pet, otherwise you won't survive long," he threatened as he leaned over her before cracking his hand that gave off heat as the poison rushed through his veins.
He stood up straight and glided out of the room, leaving a shocked (and still kneeling) Kagome. The door closed behind him and Kagome could hear a locking sound before she came to her senses and sprang toward the door. "HEY!" She shouted. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PET?"
Sesshoumaru rubbed his eyes. This one small human was good at getting on his nerves. He had heard her half way across his castle in his study; that girl had an incredible lung capacity that he doubted even he could match.
Sesshoumaru nodded to the set of oxen demon twins who were watching her room. "When her bellowing subsides you may switch with a different team." Sesshoumaru said as the guards bowed to him.
Sesshoumaru glided down the hallways, considering investing in some wax ear plugs. The miko's lung power would only increase with the great amount of use she giving it.
Sesshoumaru exited his giant castle and entered the beautiful gardens. The grounds brought him a sense of peace that was hard to achieve these days. The fountains and waterfalls bubbled cheerfully as birds flew from tree to tree while the delicate flowers swayed in the breeze, giving off delightful smells.
Sesshoumaru blinked as he watched Rin parade by, dragging an unconscious Jakken by the hood of his robe, his staff scraping against the ground as she dragged him up the steps, hitting his head on every one.
"Why did I ever decide to keep a second one?" he muttered. Sesshoumaru gazed into the blue sky, already regretting the newest addition to his house. When he first brought her in he He figured he would be able to brush her off, but for safety he melted a collar onto her neck using his poisons.
He sneered at the very thought of having another human trample around his house, but he supposed she would be a very useful tool in reminding the other lords of who had the most power. (Never mind that he had found her in a river, already knocked out.)
Sesshoumaru raised his eyes once more to the sky. "If she bothers me to much I'll simply kill her," he logically said as Rin switched directions, pulling a much abused Jaken back down the steps. "It will be that simple," he growled.
Kagome muttered as she made a list of things to call Sesshoumaru. So far she had come up with "Poop face, dog breath, (compliments of Koga) Fido, flea circus, toilet water drinker, slipper chewer, idiot, egotistical, a frozen pile of poop, moronic, evil-
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening. Kagome turned to see Sesshoumaru filling the large doorway. "Dinner is in ten minutes. Get changed before then." He ordered.
"I hope in my lands you lose all your hair and become bald!" Kagome screamed at him. Sesshoumaru paused and turned to look at the babbling miko, wondering if some of his half-brother's stupidity wore off on her.
"Get dressed," he ordered before slamming the door behind him.
"You could have said please!" Kagome sulkily yelled to him. "I still don't get what the heck is going on," she muttered as she selected a kimono that matched her 'collar'. "Jeez! I hope Inu Yasha gets here soon!"
___________________________________________________________________________________________
"Inu Yasha, how many fingers am I holding up?" Sango asked as she held her hand over Inu Yasha's face.
The hanyou glanced up at her, a strange grin plastered on his face. "Erm, eight?" he asked.
Sango stared at her single hand before turning to Miroku. "It's no good Miroku, he's totally out of it!"
Miroku shook his head. "I knew I should have stayed home today," he muttered, shifting the crying Shippo in his arms. "My horoscope told me I should beware of small mammals, who would have thought it would be right?" he grunted. "Try waking him with Kirara," the monk suggested.
"Huh? How?"
Miroku gave her a look.
"You want me to do THAT?" she asked as she hugged her fire cat to her chest.
"It's the only way."
"Fine. But if she chokes on a hairball again I'm going to kill both you and Inu Yasha," Sango threatened.
Kirara transformed and slowly stalked up to the grinning hanyou before she carefully gripped his head in her mouth, making it look much like a circus act. She paused for a moment before breathing in, and then suddenly breathed out a giant wave of flames, scorching Inu Yasha's head.
Inu Yasha shrieked and flailed his arms, hastily pulling his head out of the giant cat's mouth before every hair on his head was fried off. "What did you do that for you da-"
"Oh don't start!" Sango said with a roll of her eyes.
"I'm hungry," Inu Yasha snarled. "Where's the ramen?" He questioned.
"With Kagome I'm assuming." Miroku said.
"Ah, where is she?" Inu Yasha questioned.
"Gone," Miroku vaguely said.
"When will she be back?" Inu Yasha questioned.
"We don't know, she got separated, we couldn't find her," Sango replied, bracing herself for the loud reply.
"WHAT?"