A/N: This oneshot was written for the first round of Tangie's Tournament. I never wrote humor before, Shadow made me... so if you're disappointed, she'd the one to beat up!
My partner in this is Ritska, so please go read her entry as well! Do not forget to PM Tangerine Dream with your vote afterwards!
Prompt: Chocolate.
Thank you Daniella for beta-reading. And thank you Shadow for being my bouncing ball of ideas to whom I owe this piece of "humor".
Unexpected Addiction
One Shot
The beaming sun unleashed its heat upon her while she dragged her feet along the grass. The sweat was dripping down her back but the coolness of it was enough to make her shiver. Her hands were clenched into tight fists while her eyes scanned the area trying to find an object, a tree, anything she might recognize. The dryness of the air was killing her; she had picked the wrong day to get lost.
Oh Miroku, you have a cut? Kaede showed me an herb that'll be perfect for this. It'll fix you right up. Let me go collect some I know exactly where it is.
Apparently she didn't.
She had been roaming in this wretched forest for at least half an hour and she was nowhere near the camp or the darn herb. A sigh of despair rolled off her lips when she decided to give up. Kagome dropped her heavy yellow bag on the ground and sat her behind down on the nearest rock. She stretched out her sore legs in front of her and rubbed them gently.
They had been walking for four days, almost non-stop, and her body was aching for rest.
She tilted her head back as a gentle breeze blew by sending her hair twirling along with it. Her body welcomed the relief from the scorching sultriness and a tiny smile appeared on her lips.
"Kagome?"
At the sound of her name, Kagome's head snapped in an upward position while her eyes searching the vicinity. Quickly enough she spotted Rin running through the trees heading in her direction rapidly. Kagome smiled brightly while moving to the left to make room for Rin. Once the little girl reached her, she pressed her sticky palms to her knees and tried to catch her breath for a moment.
"Hi Rin."
"Kagome! Rin knew she saw you!"
She quickly turned her head left and right to look for the other people that traveled with her. "Is Kagome all alone?"
Kagome nodded. "Yes, I was – hm." Totally and completely lost. "Looking for herbs. I must have strayed from my path."
"Rin was hunting for food, but Rin didn't find anything."
A pinch of sadness affected Kagome's heart and she smiled sadly. At that moment she was reminded that she still had a bit of food in her bag. She quickly reached out for it and began digging through only to finally pull out a bar of chocolate. Sweets weren't really the best but it was something and it would give Rin a sugar rush. If Rin was anything like her when she had to walk around a lot, she would need it.
"Here you go," said Kagome as she handed the unwrapped chocolate bar to Rin.
With a bright smile overtaking her face, the little girl took it from Kagome's hand ready to take a big bite out of it. She had never seen anything like this before, but if Kagome was giving it to her then Rin knew she could trust it. It was when Rin opened her mouth, ready to insert the treat in it that a big gush of wind came through, nearly knocking Kagome off the rock.
As they blinked, they both found themselves staring at Sesshomaru. He was now the one holding the chocolate bar, holding it close to its nose as if he was inspecting it.
"Lord Sesshomaru!" said Rin with excitement. "Kagome gave this to Rin."
Not bothering to peek at Kagome, Sesshomaru sniffed the food. "Miko, this Sesshomaru demands you tell him what this is."
She arched an eyebrow; she never was quite comfortable with the way he referred to himself in the third person. Also, she was quite insulted; did he really think she'd give something that would be harmful to Rin? Granted he didn't seem to like her but he should at least know she was not that kind of person.
"It's chocolate. It's not dangerous," she replied with a tone that was just a tad snappy.
When he didn't seem convinced she rolled her eyes and reached out for another bar that was in her bag. She loudly unwrapped it before biting it and exaggeratedly chewing it to prove her point.
"See?" she said as she gulped down her bite. "Have some if you don't believe me."
She hadn't taken Sesshomaru for a paranoiac, but then again… he had never smelled anything like this before she assumed. On top of that, it was kind of cute that he cared for Rin's well being. Wait, had she just used the word cute to describe Sesshomaru? Clearly this heat was affecting her mental capacities.
Her thought process was interrupted when Sesshomaru opened his mouth to reveal his pearly fangs gleaming with the sun's rays when he tasted the foreign food. His face remained stoic as he chewed slowly and certainly more politely than she had. Once he swallowed it, he handed the chocolate bar back to Rin who was beaming with joy at the treat.
"I told you," said Kagome before she pushed herself on her feet.
Kagome was conscious that she was the only one who spoke to him that way, minus Inuyasha, and seemed to get away with it. Apparently after that first failed attempt against her life he had decided to waste no more time on her.
"Rin, you will eat this after we bring the Miko back to her camp."
"I don't need help."
"You are lost."
"I am n-" Alright. Maybe she was.
Still, that did nothing to explain why Sesshomaru was offering to bring her back to her camp. Taking Rin in was the nicest thing she had ever seen him do and she had a feeling it wasn't something that was likely to happen more than once.. Sesshomaru had always managed to strike her as a man of honor though. Perhaps he was thanking her for providing Rin with food?
She found herself shrugging at the thought; no matter how stubborn she wanted to be, the help would be appreciated. No matter how long she had been roaming in the Feudal Era, she still didn't know her way around.
As Sesshomaru began walking without waiting for a response from her, Rin following behind, Kagome found herself plagued with a strange thought: Dogs were not supposed to eat chocolate. Though Sesshomaru hardly qualified as an actual dog she couldn't help wonder if it could have an effect on him. Of course, she wouldn't mention any of this to him since the chances were slim to none.
On top of that he had that same emotionless expression he always had. Kagome knew it; nothing could bring feelings to him. She to admit however; it would have been fun to watch Sesshomaru become hyperactive or even loosen up a bit.
Maybe one day.
-O-
"Inuyasha!"
At the sound of his name being screeched, Inuyasha froze and his body became rigid. What had he done this time? He hadn't seen Kikyo in a couple of days… he hadn't insulted her… well he had taken the last of her ramen but that was hardly a reason to be upset! He had been in her world; they had tons of those.
"Whaddaya want Wench?" he asked while pretending the angry vibe he was getting from her wasn't terrifying.
Kagome began stomping while rushing in Inuyasha's direction. She was holding her yellow bag by two fingers with the flap of it opened revealing the contents. Her eyebrows were knit together, her breathing was erratic and all that was missing was smoke coming out of her ears.
"Inuyasha, sit boy!"
It wasn't too long until the familiar thud was heard while Inuyasha's face went slamming against the ground. His fingers twitched with rage while he struggled to pull himself up. That b-
"Sit."
And once again, he ate dirt.
He was almost growling by the time he managed to sit up. "What the hell did ya do that for?"
"You've been stealing my candy," she said before dropping her bag to the ground. Her blue eyes were shining with a burning fiery red color while she attempted to keep her calm.
She put her hands on her hips giving her an even more intimidating look. "You know what, for weeks I thought I was going crazy but now it's all gone. You know what Inuyasha? You're selfish! Do you think I can afford to get candy every week? I was saving those for Shippo! Don't you care about anyone else but yourself? I mean you're always running off, bossing people, acting like a jerk and now this."
He just couldn't keep his hands to himself when it came to any subject!
Inuyasha raised both eyebrows, completely confused. Candy? What the hell was she talking about? He didn't even know – alright he did know she had candy. But he hadn't touched it!
"Wench, I don't know what the hell you think I did, but I didn't go near your stupid candy."
Kagome's eyes narrowed. "Sit."
Once the cursing was over, she took a step in his direction. "If you didn't take it who did?" With the exception of Inuyasha there was no one else would be bold enough to go through her bag.
She was well aware that it was just candy but she still couldn't believe he had the nerve to eat all of it. Almost half her bag had been full; she had packed extra knowing she wouldn't be going home for a while. Although everyone ate them, Shippo always had a little extra. He was just a little kid and sometimes she rewarded him with candy and coloring pencils.
"Why don't you ask Shippo," said Inuyasha as he glared at the kit. It wasn't the first time the little rut had gotten him in trouble.
"Me?" said Shippo offended. "I didn't take it Kagome, I swear! You know I wouldn't."
Kagome's expression of anger transformed into a motherly one. "I know Shippo, don't worry."
Inuyasha's eyes widened. "You believe him but not me?"
"You've lied to me before," she said while try to hide the hurt tone in her voice.
"Well, I didn't take nothing, Wench."
At his words an idea struck Kagome's mind and she smiled almost mischievously before nodding. Without giving an explanation she turned around to look at Sango. "May I borrow Kirara? I need to go home for a few hours."
"Sure," Sango said only half surprised. She knew the expression on Kagome's face too well and she had a feeling something was about to happen.
Sango could do nothing but watch as Kagome took off on Kirara, knowing very well that hell was about to be unleashed upon Inuyasha.
-O-
The moment the sun rose past the horizon and attacked Kagome's eyelids, her eyes snapped open. Never before in her life had she woken up so quickly. However, this time there was a culprit to find! The previous night Kagome had returned home to retrieve a few things. On the outside it looked like all she had brought back with her were a few chocolate treats her mother had made, but there was so much more than that.
Kagome had made sure to soak them in a red coloring.
Now, all she had to do was confirm the chocolates were gone and inspect everyone in the group. The red dye would not be coming off for a few days and that would allow her to identify who had been roaming through her stash for weeks now!
An evil smirk was on her face when she forced her sleeping bag open before hopping to her yellow bag. Once it was opened she began counting, One. Two. Three. Fo- Oh. There were only three; she had brought four back with her. Whoever was stealing from her, most likely Inuyasha, thought she wouldn't realize that only one was missing.
Somewhat clever.
A proud smirk appeared on her face she when headed for where the group was sitting, ready to inspect everyone's hands. Nobody seemed to even glance at her when she sat down on one of the logs. She found that highly suspicious. Why weren't any of them trying to hide their hands? Her eyes shifted in direction of Inuyasha first. He was happily biting on a fish and apparently not looking guilty. His hands were completely void of red as well.
She burrowed her eyebrows together; had he perhaps eaten it without his hands? She lifted her eyes to his mouth only to find that, that too was free of any trace of mischief.
Damn it. Had Inuyasha been right? Had Shippo been the one going through her bag?
At that thought she spotted him and began inspecting him. Unfortunately for Kagome just like Inuyasha he was free of all red. Frustration began rising within when her she looked at her last very unlikely suspects, Sango and Miroku. When they showed no sign of the red coloring anywhere on them she sighed in anger. How in the world was this possible? HOW could someone eat her chocolate without being tainted by the red colorant?
She took deep breath and tried to not let her irritation grow out of proportion.
It was at that moment that Inuyasha made a grave mistake. "Hey, what's got you all worked up?"
At his words an eyebrow was lifted while a deadly glare was leveled before the eruption happened. "I don't care how you did it but I WILL FIND OUT! Someone is eating my chocolate and I will know who."
While everyone stared at her as if she had lost it, Kagome began to stomp away. Fine the red colorant hadn't worked. She had a last weapon, something nobody in the Feudal era would expect. Not even Inuyasha since he had never seen one. This time this would not fail; she would catch the chocolate thief. Once she proved it was Inuyasha she would sit him into oblivion. It might be the only way to release her stress.
She didn't even eat that much chocolate, she didn't care about that. She cared that someone was stealing from her and lying to her face!
As Kagome ventured further she decided to do one last thing before she was out of range. "SIT!"
And a loud thud echoed through the forest.
-O-
Kagome was in camp pacing herself. Just how long was she supposed to wait? It had been long enough hadn't it? She had waited for hours now? All of them – Shippo, Inuyasha, Sango and even Miroku – they had all left camp more than once. Surely one of them had eaten it by now! One of them had to have been caught in her trap!
She had expanded upon her recent plan, transforming it into a more expensive one if something was to go wrong. She had brought back with her a giant chocolate bunny, –the one she had gotten for Easter but hadn't had time to eat, along with a video camera. Kagome had carefully installed it in a tree and set it so it would be pointed where the chocolate bunny was.
There was no way she was missing this. Whoever took a bite of that bunny would be caught on tape.
She bit on her bottom lip hard deciding that she could not longer wait. Her toes were twitching while she ran in direction of her trap. Once she got there a pleasant surprise was waiting for her; the bunny was gone. Immediately her eyes sought the camera and relief washed over her when she found out. This was it. She had found the thief!
Bouncing like a child on a sugar high, she hurried to retrieve her camera from the tree. Once it was back in her possession she rewound it, only to shiver with excitement when she pressed the play button. Kagome was forced to watch unbearable minutes of nothing, refusing to hit the fast forward button and spoil the surprise. The moments ticked away; she yawned but nothing happened.
Finally, a flash of silver caught her eye. She knew it! It was Inuyasha all along.
Satisfied she chewed on her bottom lip and waited for his face to appear. It was while she stared at the mini screen that something dawned upon her; there were no fluffy ears on top of that silver haired head. Her eyes moved around while her heart began to pound; that white and red fabric also didn't fit Inuyasha's clothes. Oh dear god!
It wasn't Inuyasha.
It was –
No.
It couldn't.
Oh for the love of everything that was holy – Sesshomaru?
Kagome shook her head, refusing to believe it. He wouldn't – he couldn't. But when he lifted his head and almost looked straight at the camera there was no way to deny it. His fine long fingers were stained with red spots, his entire body was shaking and his mouth was covered in chocolate. His usually emotionless amber eyes were wide opened as if he was hunting for more. His perfect silver hair was a mess, his bangs glued to his forehead as though he had been sweating. He kept glancing left and right while crushing the chocolate bunny in pieces with his red hands.
And all Kagome could do was fall on the ground, stumped.
He was the thief? He was the one who had come and stolen chocolate from her bag for weeks? How was this even possible? And more importantly; why? It couldn't be because of that small bite he had; it had no effect on him! He hadn't even reacted! And how come Inuyasha hadn't smelled his presence? Or she for all that mattered! Her bag was always so close to her!
Her anger rose, red tinting her cheeks as she held the camera firmly. Well it didn't matter how he did it, all that was important was that he was guilty.
Now her problem was; she had to find him.
She calmly processed the information she had. This event had occurred recently, though that didn't mean he was close by; he could travel very fast. Still from that mind-scaring picture she had seen, he would probably try to clean himself up before meeting up with Rin and Jaken. She twisted her lips around while thinking; wasn't there a river near here?
Deciding it was worth a shot, Kagome headed for it.
Her anger increased with every step and she twitched. She had wanted to see Sesshomaru express emotions one day, but this was not what she had in mind. It took her a few minutes, during which her mind brooded over her murderous thoughts, but she finally reached the river. As expected, she found Sesshomaru there.
His wet hair was clinging to his wet back but didn't allow her to see his face. When he didn't even turn to see her, and it was obvious he could sense her presence, she decided to be the first one to speak.
"You thieving mutt!"
At her harsh, disrespectful words, Sesshomaru finally turned around. When his face was revealed a detail that could not be seen before because of the chocolate surrounding his mouth was now visible; the corners of his mouth were tainted red. However it was not the red spots of skin that had capture Kagome's attention. No. It was his bare chest.
Oh god. Bare muscular sturdy chest. Wait – his chest was bare? Her eyes traveled around until they landed on a pile of clothes. A pile of all his clothes. Oh dear God. Sesshomaru was standing in front of her completely naked. Covered by the glistening oh so almost transparent water.
"You – you stole my chocolate."
He didn't have any clothes on. He did have a lot of muscles though.
"You went through my stuff!"
Oh my god. Did men really have that insane amount of abs? She thought those were just on photo shopped people.
"And then – it violated my rights." What?
Oh, oh. Was the level of the water lower? Had he moved? No she hadn't even blinked, how could he have moved? Oh wait. Right. He was shaking. Because of… the chocolate.
"And it made me uncomfortable, like that time at the movies."
What the hell was she talking about? Kagome rapidly shook her head trying to bring back her focus. "You are a chocolate thief." A sexy and very wet chocolate thief.
Okay, she did not just think that.
He lifted his amber eyes and finally their eyes met. Instead of a peaceful expression, he began baring his fangs at her while his eyes narrowed in a threatening manner. A powerful growl escaped his chest and vibrated through. He was trying to intimidate her.
"Chocolate," he roared.
He was trying to overpower her to get… chocolate? Her expression morphed into one that meant are you kidding me? She decided to cross her arms in front of her chest, not fearing him like always.
Except this time, Sesshomaru was a little bit pushier. Instead of remaining where he was standing he started to move in her direction. Not only was his body trembling like a leaf, his bloodshot eyes never deviated from her but he was slowly coming out of the water. Her heart nearly skipped a beat but not out of fear of him. The water had reached his hips, very low on his hips – and was that fur all the way down there?
No. NO!
Without thinking she closed her eyes shut tightly and stretched a hand in front of her while a bright pink flash of light exploded from her hand.
-O-
"Miko, you will free this Sesshomaru at o-"
Before he could finish his sentence Kagome slapped a seal over his mouth. The rest of his sentence was mumbled against the paper. Satisfied, Kagome backed away smirking. "What do you think Miroku? Is that enough?"
The Monk stared at the powerful Daiyoukai, nearly unable to hold back a laugh. Sesshomaru was covered in seals from head to toe, barely leaving an inch of him exposed. Yes it did require a great amount of seals to keep someone as powerful as him immobile but Miroku had a feeling Kagome had overdone it.
"I believe it will be sufficient."
"Good," said Kagome, pride filling her.
She heard Sesshomaru mumble and she had a pretty good idea of what he was trying to say.
"You're going to stay like this until you stop trembling like an addict in need. I swear you're obsessed."
Once again Sesshomaru mumbled.
Kagome rolled her eyes. "Yes I know; this Sesshomaru has no obsession. You might say that, but your hands and mouth tell a different story."
So did his body. His chocolate stained body. His powerful strong chocolate stained body. Oh god. Sesshomaru wasn't the only one with an obsession.
"Miroku, do you have any seals that will work on hentai humans?"
-O-
That's it folks! Thanks for reading and once again, don't forget to read Ritska's entry along with pming your vote to Tangerine Dream!