Sesshoumaru, about midnight yesterday I was at your house waiting for the moment you would fall asleep. Waiting so I could watch your chest rise and fall. So I could brush the silver strands out of your eyes and whisper how sorry I was.
Sorry my powers weren't strong enough to stop you from taking me that night your demon took over or that my body wasn't "woman" enough to satisfy your needs.
Sorry that I wanted to swim in the amber pools that are your eyes.
Sorry for standing outside your mansiion yesterday like the Romeo in my book.
Sorry for handing you roses to tell you I liked you.
Sorry for treating you like a friend when I knew you were the guy for me.
Sorry for being nice; not a jerkette
Sorry for not doing you when you were passed out like I was raised.
Sorry I want to make love to you rather than screw you over like those hos you date.
Sorry I'm not the one you're taking to the Premier tomorrow. The girl whose hand you'll be holding in the movie theater, who you'll be hugging you through the scary parts, comforting through the sad.
Sorry I'm not the girl in the green skirt anymore but a woman full grown.
Sorry I'm me and not just some random woman.
Sorry I'm the woman who would hold your date's hair when she got sick that night.
Sorry I helped you know what to say when the new chick didn't fall for your charms.
Sorry I was there to pick you up when your newest girl stole your car and left you in the middle of nowhere, but wasn't good enough for you to listen to me.
Sorry I'm not cute or rich enough to be "your woman".
Sorry I can't buy you anything fancy for your birthday or holidays.
Sorry that I like to be around you at Kinro Kansha no Hi (Japanese Thanksgiving) instead of spending it with my family.
Sorry I miss you, like Bella misses Edward, when you're gone.
Sorry you're the last one I forget on rainy days and the first one I remember on a sunny one.
Sorry I like to be at my shrine cuddling you instead of at some club.
Sorry that I'm the woman you always you talk to but is not good enough to date.
Sorry if I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat only to be thrown aside when the new jerkette comes around.
If I don't answer the phone to listen to you talk instead of getting a few hours sleep before work I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you can't realize ...I've been the one all along.
But most of all I'm sorry for not being sorry anymore.
I'm not sorry that you didn't pull out the chair for me or open the car door.
I'm not sorry I'm not perfect and can never do anything right to make it into your world.
I'm not sorry that I won't listen to you wish could have done something different with another girl.
I'm not sorry I quit my job because I couldn't take being ignored.
I'm not sorry I told you you were a (and I quote) "horny heartless bastard"
I'm not sorry that I cared.
So you go ahead and ride with your girlfriend when I've been waiting in my truck, all morning because I'm done watching you walk right by me.
Even if part of me will continue to wait for the day you'll to notice the Juliet at the window.
Men sometimes complain and gripe that there are no good girls out there and that they always end up with the hos of the world. Well men next time you're compaining, maybe look up and see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is there comforting you and hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in her head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you're actually searching for is right by you.
-Akae Imoto
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