Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plot. I don´t own the figures of Inuyasha by Rumiko Takahashi and I don´t own the song „Breathe Easy“ by Blue.
A/N: Here is my second song-fic and my third one shot. Please enjoy! As I´m fighting against a against a major block at the moment it had been hard to me to go back writing. That is why this is to naqaashi, who helped me to write again. (THANK YOU!)
A/N: I blame my ipod (no I don´t own the brand only my device), it played this song when I choose the random mood and the story popped in my head.
A/N: Done with my Beta Firehauke. You´ve done a great job again, thank you!
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The hanyō looked across fire. A heavy sigh slipped through his lips. Exhausted he lifted his hand and ran it over his face. Six month, it was six months since the inu brothers had joined forces in the attempt to finally defeat Naraku after another devilish trick that had nearly cost Kagome and Rin their lives.
But it had not been him who saved the two, it had been his loathed half-brother for he had been too busy with something or better someone else. He hated to admit it, but he hadn´t even noticed the absence of the female. From that point it had went downward between them, the trust had been shattered and now the elder sat there, both females close by.
~~~
Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
~~~
He watched as the other bent down, seeing himself how much he looked like him, yet so completely different. A soft giggle was heard as said male told the small miko something. A slight smile ghosted over the handsome features as the stoic Lord, who held her in his lap, looked down at her. The kitsune in the female´s lap grinned and the little girl at their side glowed with glee.
It hurt so badly to see her sitting there so close to his brother, seeing how he made her smile. The rest of the group laughed with the pair. Her sisterly friend winked at her, while the monk chuckled, his own arm around the slayer´s waist, giving her a loving squeeze. The two of them had finally found their own love.
~~~
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold
What used to be mine
~~~
Inuyasha bit inside of his cheek, burying his fang deep into it to distract himself from the pain of seeing how Kagome was held by another male but him. She had been his for so long, yet he hadn´t noticed back then how easily he could loose her. If only he had seen her worth back then, but he had been too proud, too blind.
Blinded by his own actions he had stumbled further and further away from her. He knew now that he had been so used to the idea of her belonging to him, that he hadn´t even tried to care for her, or fight for her. Watching how Sesshōmaru held her made it quite clear to him that the elder demon would never make this mistake.
~~~
Why did I lie?
What did I walk away to find?
Oooh why? Oooh why?
~~~
So often the hanyō had lied, had told his miko so many stupid things. She had known that, every time he had lied she had known it. Never had she said something, Kagome had merely smiled sadly and let him be. Even the times he walked away from them with another bad excuse, she had only used to look for him if it had been too long and they had begun to worry.
Now he could only ask himself why he had done all this. Why he had left her behind so often, why he had told her such idiotic things. Watching her now made him regret his actions. He didn´t even know any longer why he had walked away so often to see the other woman.
~~~
I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
~~~
His chest hurt as he tried to take a deep breath. It felt as if he would never breathe again. Ever since he had noticed that something between his miko and his brother had begun to bloom, he had lost his ability to sleep. It was then that he had begun to fight for her, but it had already been too late. He had lost her to Sesshōmaru.
Now he felt as if he would never be able to sleep without her at his side. It was as if with her all ability to gain rest has gone. As much as he fought for it, he couldn´t sleep and the lack of it began to take it´s toll on him more and more.
~~~
No, I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
there's no air
~~~
Another shuddering try to take in much needed air left him even more breathless. Again his hand went up to his face, rubbed his tired forehead. For so long the miko had slept at his side, or at least under the branch he had lay on. After the last incident she had ceased this, she had taken her kit and gone to another place.
Ever since, he had never truly slept; only fallen into a kind of a dark, dreamless unconsciousness. Before this his dreams had been vivid, full of this delicate female. Now they were nonexistent and he felt as if they would not return until she found her way back to him. The problem was, he knew now she would never return.
~~~
Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
~~~
Once, not many days after the near death of the young woman and the little girl, he had tried to talk to Kagome. She had sadly looked in his eyes, laid her hand on his cheek and whispered that she hoped that one day he would finally wake up and then find happiness. The hanyō had tried really hard to keep his foul mouth in check, if only for this one time.
Cursing only within his thoughts, he had tried to apologize for everything, for his stupidity, his blindness, his careless behavior and his reckless actions. She had patiently listened, given him another soft smile and finally said that only he himself could make his peace. With that his miko had left him standing.
~~~
Curse me inside
I won't forget
No, I won't, baby
~~~
He had run after her, tried to tell her that he would never again forget her, or the danger she was in because of him. He swore never to let her out of his protective range, but she hadn´t stopped. For the first time in their long history she had not stopped, nor consoled him, nor told him it would be alright. For the first time, his Kagome had only left.
The picture of Kagome´s retreating back was burned into his mind. How her head had hung low, her ebony locks cascading down her now kimono clad back. It was a picture he wanted to forget with all his might, but wasn´t able.
~~~
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find
Oooh why? Oooh why? Why?
~~~
Now he found himself sitting opposite from her, watching in silent pain how tenderly his miko was held by his hated half-brother. The question about what he had hoped to find away from her hunted him. Again and again he asked himself why he had acted so foolishly and he was not the only one.
Sango had asked him that very day when he had finally made his way back to the camp, only to find the others injured and his female gone. When his brother had returned, the miko safe in his arms, he had asked him too. The only one who didn´t ask was Kagome herself, saying that she didn´t need the answer, for it would not change the outcome.
~~~
I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
~~~
Choking on another breath the hanyō watched as the rest of the group began to prepare for the night. Shippo was put down beside Rin between the secure legs of the curled dragon. The annoying toad with his staff of two heads sat down near the pups, following his master´s orders. The monk threw another couple of twigs in the fire to keep it going.
His fiancé collected the used dishes and laid out their bedding. Inuyasha watched as the miko went to wash the dishes, closely followed by her new protector. Moments later he heard water splashing and soft laughter. Jumping up into a tree, he settled on a branch and tried to will himself to sleep. As now usual, he found her could not.
~~~
No, I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
there's no air
~~~
Sesshōmaru and his mate-to-be came back and the hanyō watched out of the corner of his eye how he settled down at the base of a giant tree, pulling the petite female in his lap. Inuyasha´s breath caught in his throat as he saw how trusting Kagome was cuddled against the so much larger and broader male.
With a tenderness the young male had not expected from the elder, Sesshōmaru wrapped the miko into his tail and a warm fur. He ensured that she was comfortable before he himself leaned back and closed his eyes, drifting into calm sleep. Inuyasha stared at the star filled sky, preparing for another sleep- and dreamless night.
~~~
Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life
That's all I'm breathing for
~~~
With all his might he wished for this to end. He couldn´t bear the situation any longer. Nothing he did was important any longer. He had lost all drive the moment he had realized he lost Kagome to another. He didn´t know anymore why he was searching for the damned jewel shards for it wasn´t a worthwhile quest if he didn´t know if he should be human, hanyō or yōkai.
All that mattered now was this small female resting in the arms of his half-brother. All that he wanted, his reason for continuing, regardless of the unbearable pain; was the small miko that had for the first time, accepted him as who he was. He wanted her back, back at his side. With every shuddering breath he prayed for another, now lost, chance.
~~~
Ohhhh - Can't sleep at night
till you're by my side
Can't breathe easy
~~~
Inuyasha knew that he would never be able to rest again, for he would never gain her back. Nothing he did lessened the pain, or made it better. Yet he would fight, he would not give up. Every day he proved anew that he still loved her. He had even sent her incarnation away to show her who meant more to him. It had been hard, but needed.
If he ever wanted her back, the miko and his peace; he had to show her how much he wanted, no needed her. Night after night was spent in his search for opportunities and possibilities to win her back. It didn´t matter to him that she was now with his half-brother, nor did it matter that she was indeed lost to him. He would never be able to sleep or be at peace without her.
But on the other hand, he knew that he would sacrifice everything, even his own peace if it meant she would be happy. If being with Sesshōmaru guarantied her happiness, who was he to deny her this for something so profane as sleep?
~~~
I cant dream yet another dream
Without you laying next to me
There's no air
~~~
Golden eyes locked on the fidgety figure perched high on a branch above the camp. After what seemed like months the hanyō finally slumped. They watched as he visibly relaxed and then fell asleep. It seemed that he had finally made his peace with the situation. Unblinking, the golden eyes saw how the cramped hands loosened and slid down to his sides.
A soft sigh escaped Sesshōmaru as he watched his half-brother struggle for breath in his sleep. They had still a long way before them, but the first step was over. His gaze softened as it drifted down to the slumbering figure in his arms. His Kagome; he snorted lightly, neither the sound or the movement even made her twitch; he never thought he would take a human mate, especially not a miko.
Now that he had found her, he knew that nothing in this world would take her away from him. Ever since that day when he had rushed to Rin´s aid only to find her protected by his brother´s miko he had fallen more and more for her. Never had he seen such a beautiful creature as her, standing in front of the child glowing with her powers, her hair and clothes swirling wildly around her.
A strained noise was heard as Inuyasha fought for another breath. It seemed as if there was no air for him. As if he had lost his breath, when he, Sesshōmaru had finally found his.
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A/N: Here you go, I hope you liked it! Please read and review, feedback is my fuel to write.
A/N: My other stories will be updated soon, but please bear with me if it still takes some time, as I´m still fighting the aftershocks of my block. Thank you!