Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Nor do I own Marilyn Manson. This is just a piece of crack, to not be takes seriously!
Do NOT try this at home. Unless you're what Kagome is. XD
Many thanks to the lovely ItsyBitsySpider for beta-ing. And I blame this squarely on her and Lady Serianna for inception. And Velvy, for being such a scaredy cat that it egged me on!
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The very last thing a girl needs when she’s losing her virginity, Kagome reflected, was her partner looking downright terrified of getting down and dirty somewhere in the middle of the act.
“If I can gag myself on that over-sized baseball bat you like to refer to as your manhood, Sesshoumaru, I don’t see why my lady parts should remind you of bogey pits,” she pointed out, as calmly as she could when heavily aroused and entirely naked.
It didn’t help that she had an equally naked, though considerably less aroused - and growing lesser so by the minute - demon lord nestled comfortably between her legs. One of his hands were holding her hips down while the other was glued to his mouth in horrified protest.
“Wiff feffumahuf fanfsh aw anewus oo au wawi bawf.”
“I don’t speak Zongowudian, Sesshoumaru. Get that mouth down below. Now.”
He removed his palm from his mouth long enough to bite out, “I said, you foolish girl, that this Sesshoumaru’s fangs are dangerous to your lady parts.”
Now that ground those nice lovely fantasies of oral sex to a screeching, shuddering halt. He did have a point though, the young priestess conceded. Two points, in fact. Two very long, very sharp, very pointy, very sexy-to-look-at-but-very-hazardous-to-one’s-heath points.
But she was still aroused, damn it! And no way in this Naraku-free world was she going to sleep with the most gorgeous creature in all time and not come back with a good, no-holds-barred story for her girlfriends! So she fixed the object of her lust with a firm sneer. “And perhaps they’re dangerous only because you failed Technique 101.”
Gritting his teeth to prevent himself taking a nice bite out of her where she didn’t need things bitten, Sesshoumaru nonetheless noted the raw arousal in her eyes. Dark and smoky, gleaming Prussian with lust. He watched, fascinated, as they deepened to near black when he brushed his fingers over her wet core, stroking and petting her to the point of near-orgasm.
Unfortunately for the orally inexperienced demon, that was going to backfire very soon. And life, as he knew it, was going to take a detour to places better left alone.
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Kagome was burning. Burning with desire and pleasure and the trembling, leg-spasming feeling of an orgasm resting just one dexterous stroke away. But her brain had been so fixated on being pushed to cum with strokes from such a very different appendage than the one that was currently applying its considerable skill to her clitoris, that she Just. Could. Not. Do. It. The old obstinacy kicked in, as did a desire to feel some tongue.
If she wasn’t so desperate for a good licking, she knew she’d have doubled over laughing at the dumbfounded look on Sesshoumaru’s face when she went from moaning, writhing, musky woman to shoving, glaring, heaving feminist. So... he wasn’t going to give her what she wanted, was he? Appease her with second prize when a long, hot, moist, playful trophy was sitting idle and begging to be used, was he?
She’d damn well take care of her pussy herself!
Sesshoumaru watched, pupils going rounder and wider and all-over-gape-y-er as the clumsy, awkward priestess he knew and wanted to screw stood up before him, splaying her legs wide.
Then she bent over backwards. Ninety degrees.
Then she bent over some more, till her back and her backside were pressed flat against each other, hands finding purchase on her ankles.
He could see her mons, glistening and inviting, and behind that were her neck and head, dangling upside down between the juncture at the apex of her thighs.
He watched as she proceeded to curl back in on herself till she resembled a wheel.
The point of juncture?
Her mouth, coming up meet her mound in blissful abandon.
“Aaaahhhmmmm.....”
And he continued to watch, fascinated and disturbed, as she put that eager little tongue to much anticipated use on those quivering lips and that throbbing nub. As she flicked the tip of her tongue over the entrance to her vagina, then undulated the flat of it over and around her clitoris. As she nibbled gently on her delicate inner lips, and gently grazed the little button at their apex. As her lips moved swiftly to capture leaking trails of her essence, then kissed and stroked leisurely paths back to her clit, bussing it affectionately, teasingly.
As she thrust into her vagina with that short, active tongue and then fastened her whole mouth over her clit, suckling on it firmly, her moans and cries of hedonistic want sending little rumbling vibrations through the tiny organ, till her entire body rocked back and forth on the bed, trembling with pleasure, trembling, trembling, and then shuddering into sharp waves of orgasm.
She slowly unfurled herself, eyes catching his own. Blue - shimmering with newly sated desire, they darkened once again as she picked up on the startled arousal in his own golden irises.
“That’s how it’s done,” she breathed, legs falling open as she moved to lie before him, nipples pebbling as his fingers reached out of their own accord, gently rolling one and then the other. Without further thought, his mouth followed, bathing the points with his tongue, kissing the valley between with rough strength, stoking her body to need once more. He reached down to let his fingers skitter over her clit, inserting one long digit into her to simulate the motions of his cock.
Unable to bear any more of the delicious teasing, Kagome began rolling her hips, groaning helplessly, pleading for the demon to fill her with his girth.
“......come...into me...,” she gasped, frantically straining up to catch the head of his manhood just as he pushed down and slid into her clenching heat, a harsh groan pulled from his lips as he waited for her to adjust. Which she did with surprising swiftness, and soon her vulva was grinding against the base of his cock in a plea for more, as he pushed and pulled, shafting her with slow intensity till she crested, then slowly quickening his thrusts and increasing the force with which he slapped against her nub, reaching frantically for orgasm.
It broke over them without enough warning, they felt, sending her spasming and arching beneath his mouth on her breast and his hands at her hips, squeezing the seed from his body in heavy jerks as her wetness tightened and clutched at him, massaging his hard length till his whole spine shook with the force of pleasure releasing itself.
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This was the eighth cliche Kagome had proved this week.
Dogs are curious - Q.E.D.
Dogs like sniffing crotch - Q.E.D.
An old dog will refuse, point blank, to learn a new trick - Q.E.D.
Dogs are horny bastards - Q.E.D.
A dog will lick his prick but never lick a pussy - Q.E.D.
Dogs are pesky when they want to know something - Q.E.D.
Dogs are stubborn - Q.E.D.
Except the fifth, of course. That was only halfway true, but if a certain horny dog demon had his way, he’d rectify that situation in a instant.
Or so he thought.
“You can’t learn that sort of yoga at your age, Sesshoumaru! You’re too old,” she ground out, for perhaps the gazillionth time since she had obliged him with that demonstration of self-pleasuring tactics. Typical male, she huffed mentally; of course he’d want to know how to go about doing it himself. To himself.
Well, shmuffle it. She watched in smug pleasure as his face twitched between disappointment, denial and distemper. There was something inherently satisfying about knowing that you had topped the Killing Perfection at something. Especially when it gave you the power to tell him to go sit in a corner at random moments during sex and watch you tongue yourself to bliss-dom. And know that he could never get you there himself, and worse - never get himself there either.
Now what did that say about his sexual prowess, she wondered....
He was good, she’d give him that. Mind-blowingly good with his tongue and his cock.
But geographically challenged.
Too bad, so sad..... Well, perhaps she should put him out of his misery; oral cowardice aside, it wasn’t his fault he was born with oversized needles in his mouth.
“Well....there is something.....” she speculated, looking him over, lips quirking in a slight smirk. She was quite certain the perfectionist dog would never, in a thousand millenia, do what she was about to suggest.
Gold eyes snapped to immediate attention, and he stood, tense and erect, humming with anticipation.
“....you could always make like Marilyn Manson and get your lower ribs removed...”
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Kagome sighed despondently, shuffling through the aisles at the music store, eyes flicking over titles and dismissing them just as fast.
One month. For exactly one glorious month, she had believed that she would spend the rest of her life having the most bone-quakingly pleasurable sex that any girl in either time could ask for. He had been insatiable, curious, experimental, and the things he could do with that manhood and those fingers!
Even if he continued to refuse to touch her pussy with his tongue on grounds of giving her an involuntary piercing....or have his ribs removed so at least she could watch him play with himself.
And now it was all gone.
Stupid damn well and fucking stupid damn jewel, she muttered mentally - it was a constant refrain in her brain these days. She hadn’t asked to be relocated from Sesshoumaru’s dick to the well-house, had she?
And right when she had been so close to cumming, too! Rubbing yourself to pleasured bliss while simultaneously sobbing with loss was not the best way to end a night, she had discovered.
And three months and numerous trashed dildos later, she had discovered that the only way she could get herself to come was if she went kamasutra yoga every night and repeated the performances that Sesshoumaru had so adored - heated gaze locked on her tongue as it cavorted over her cunt, cock stiffening till it brushed his navel, precum dribbling down the sides and promising them both long hours of ecstasy soon to follow.
That, and she didn’t think they had manufactured a dildo yet to resemble Sesshoumaru’s package.
Lost in mourning mutters, she continued her trek past pop and alternate rock, then rounded the corner to hardcore rock.
And bumped into him.
Marilyn Manson.
“....Kagome....?!”
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“What happened to your face?!?!?!?!”
That was all she could get out, really, with any coherency.
The once-stunning demon lord was... Ugly.
She twisted her head to the left, to the right, below his pointy chin, into his sunken cheeks, top view, every-view; didn’t matter where she looked from. She couldn’t find a single handsome spot to ogle, in that goth-made-up face. Even his pecks didn’t look the same anymore!
The gothic star shifted on his feet, mumbling something she couldn’t quite catch. “Come again?”
“.......”
“Sesshou...” He glared at her. “Sorry, forgot we were in public! Marylin, what the hell have you been doing for the last five hundred years to end up looking like a sucked out puffer fish?!”
That earned her pointed glare and a huff. Yet, there was something strangely appeased, almost post-orgasmic blissfulness about that look. And the horror dawned on her.
“I am never, ever, ever, ever eating myself out again.”
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It was the end of the age of yoga, she reflected sadly.
But oh, somewhere along the line the rib-pulling must have worked, because the once shy dog demon had morphed into one hell of a lip-smacking, tongue-busting, teeth-grinding, perfectionist of a pussy-eater.
And oh boy...he had developed a distinct taste for priestess-pussy.
A long, sinuous tongue unrolled itself in her passage, flicking against the inner walls as he drove deeper in search of a certain spot. Pointy, playful fangs scraping light torture at the sides of her mound. Soft lips that she remembered so well soothing the slight burn with little nips where his teeth doodled erotic graffiti around her hole. And a blazing, wet, avid, eager mouth opening wide to cover her entire dripping vulva and kissing it as much as he would kiss her mouth. Suckle on clitoris, thrust into vagina, rub against mons, flick and twist and roll and pull over thrumming nub.
Play.
Rewind.
Repeat.
Till with one final hard tug of that sinful mouth, she came undone, screaming her release to the walls, to the ceiling, to whoever had their ears glued to the door.
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“You are getting those ribs replaced.”
“And removing that god-awful black lipstick.”
“And I will give you a blowjob once every decade.”
“..............”
“I refuse to end up looking like a female version of you because your dick likes my mouth!”
“That it does.”
“You’ve clearly had enough blowjobs to last you an eternity, you dirty dog, so clean up, re-bone yourself, and maybe in another fifty years or so your face will pull back out instead of looking like you vacuumed it from the inside and forgot to turn off the plug.”
“Or no more priestess snatch. Ever.”
“This Marilyn will contact a surgeon and a stylist at once.”
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An old dog will never learn a new trick - Q.E.D.
P.s.: It took exactly fifty-seven years and three days for Sesshoumaru’s face to get back to it’s once pristine, sculpted, gorgeous glory. Which occasion Kagome celebrated with a huge topless ball, as she was finally freed from calling her great and terrible perfectionist of a mate “Mary” in bed.
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