I know, I know, I KNOW I should be updating The Knight or To the Sick and Wanting, I know. But unfortunately, I cannot. for the past couple of months I've been experienceing the most painful bout of writer's block that has ever fallen into my lap. Coupled with a slew of RL propaganda, I find myself inept at what used to come most naturally to me. I appologise profusely.
This morning at work, as I sit in my boss' stead for the day, I decided to try my hand once more and this is what was produced. I find that it is very close to home and my heart and hope that you can appreciate it for what it is. As always, constructive critiques are appreciated and the pointing out of errors is expressly condoned.
Thank you and enjoy.
Confessions of a Troubled Heart
She knew she liked him, and he liked her. But did she love him? Could she love him? That wasn’t as easy an answer as she thought it would have been. Of course she could love him, he was a very lovable character and very genuine. But could she love him?
She didn’t know.
He was slightly reminiscent of her last love, which maybe explains her hesitation, but she didn’t want to superimpose the thought of him on a past, failed arrangement. It wasn’t fair to any of them.
She wasn’t really sure what he thought of her, but she was aware that he thought highly. He speaks of it most often. But alas, he also speaks of not being ready to be put in another intimate arrangement greater than the one they already fashioned. Sadly, that feeling was not mutual. He wanted to go out and explore other women, gain experience and ‘become godly’. She wanted to have fun and live in the present. With him.
It was also disheartening that the only reason this feeling really came to the fore was because she expressed displeasure at being invited for a sexual escapade barely an hour’s half after being denied by his latest would be conquest (of whom she knew all about except her name). It was disheartening that after another hour’s half of expressions of affections nearing love, he turns around to speak that he was not able to put himself in such a situation.
What was she to do?
She knew she was already in too deep as it were and it would hurt her immensely to try and break herself away from him, but it also hurt her to stay and listen to him speak of his different conquests and possibilities while on the other side of the world away from her. For that was the type of relationship they held, they told of everything.
But the question remains the same; could she love him? She did already, just how much was the question she had no answer for.
Confessions of a Troubled Heart
So...how was it?
Passible, laughable, should I go back to my hole?
Thank you for reading, I hope you drop a review on your way out. Once again I appologise for my lack of presence, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive this lowly authoress.
-sora