Not sure how funny this is but I'm throwing in my towel anyway. I don't own the songs mentioned.
“Banana pants!”
Sango tried not to snicker at Kagome's antics. Her sister figure was darting around Sesshomaru with Rin and Shippo at her heels randomly shouting nonsense. The little ones were giggling and copying her with deadly accuracy.
“Banana Pants! Banana Pants!”
Kagome weaved again for another attack.
“Woof! Woof! Grrrrr...!”
“Woof! Woof! Grrrr...! Woof! Woof! Grrrr..!”
Sango was impressed at Sesshomaru's ability to continue walking as if this was completely normal. Kagome had her work cut out for her. As much as Sango wanted her own complete set of bathing supplies from the future she wasn't sure if it was worth it if Kagome got herself killed in her attempts to win their bet.
Last Night
The girls finished bathing and were now enjoying a short soak in the hot springs to relax muscles and soothe frazzled nerves.
“I don't know about you Sango but traveling with Sesshomaru is far less comforting than I thought it would be.”
Sango lifted her eyebrows skeptically and chuckled.
“You have to be the only person in the world who would think being in the constant presence of a taiyoukai of Sesshomaru's power would be, comforting.”
Kagome slid a little lower on the water submerging her shoulders.
“Rin and Jaken don't have a problem with it. I just thought I would feel....safer, or something, but truthfully it feels like everyone is on edge.”
Sango nodded.
“It's just Inuyasha that's on edge but I know what you mean. I doubt Sesshomaru is going to do anything to reassure us. I bet he has never even smiled before that didn't include him about to kill something.”
Kagome sat back up with a splash.
“No one could go through life without smiling or laughing. That would just be....too sad.”
“Have you ever seen Sesshomaru laugh?”
“Well, no...but...”
“But nothing...I don't think he's capable.”
“He can!”
“Prove it.”
“I will!”
Sango shook her head.
“I dunno....maybe we shouldn't. Playing games with Sesshomaru is a potentially deadly proposition.”
Kagome was quiet a moment then Sango saw her face harden with determination. She had seen this look before and knew Kagome was not going to be swayed.
“Let's make it a bet.”
“A bet?”
“If you win and I can't get Sesshomaru to laugh in..let's say a week then I will give you a deluxe set of bathing supplies.”
Sango thought it over. Surely Kagome would be safe enough now that they were allies. Sesshomaru might be annoyed but he wouldn't really kill her. Kagome was needed to find Naraku after all.
“And if you win?”
It was Kagome's turn to think.
“You have to do all the cooking for everyone for a month.”
“That doesn't seem like much to ask for.”
Kagome snickered.
“Have fun making Ah-Un favorite treat.”
Sango's nose twitched remembering the noxious smell of the special demon gruel the dragon ate once a week supposedly for his “health”.
“Got it. Ok. It's a deal. Just one thing, it has to be a real laugh. No smirks or snickers.”
“Fine but don't expect any belly laughs either.”
“Never crossed my mind,” Sango said with a smile of her own.
Several Days Later...
Kagome was getting closer to the day of the end of the bet and she was seemingly no closer to her goal. She had already decided even if she lost the bet she was going to continue trying to get Sesshomaru to laugh. He did kind of smirk once when she sat Inuyasha for yelling at her. She didn't think that should count because one, it wasn't a real laugh and two, it involved someone else's pain. On to phase two...
Dinner that night was a planned event. Kagome had even made a special trip home to get the right ingredients. It wasn't anything special really, it's main function was to fit into her plan she had been secretly preparing with with kids.
“Kagome?”
“Yes, Miroku?”
“Although I always enjoy the treats and unique foods you humbly bring for us to sample I have to ask, exactly what this is?”
“It's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You like them right guys?”
Kagome looked to Rin and Shippo who were nodding vigorously and licking sticky fingers.
“Dammit!”
The group as a whole looked at Inuyasha who was licking at his teeth in frustration.
Kagome put her hand to her mouth, smiling. Her eyes cautiously slid over to Sesshomaru who was also trying to discreetly dislodge the peanut butter from the roof of his mouth with his tongue. It was obvious to her in spite of his overtly calm demeanor he was displeased. Sesshomaru, however, was in no way going to stick his claws in his mouth like Inuyasha was now doing without regard for any kind of manners to relieve himself of the substance. This was her cue. Looking at the kids they nodded at her smiling and they all jumped up suddenly in front of Sesshomaru and began singing loudly.
“It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time!”
Everyone froze.
“Where he at, where he at, where he at, where he at?”
They all pointed at the demon lord.
“There he go, there he go, there he go, there he go!”
He stopped licking.
“Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly.”
Sango started laughing.
“Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat. Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!”
Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed.
Now break it down and freeze, break it down and freeze, break it down and freeze, break it down and freeze!”
They danced and pretended to lick at their teeth freezing periodically.
Inuyasha froze with one finger in his mouth staring dumbly.
While the kids danced and sang the chorus Kagome went solo. She came closer to Sesshomaru and wiggled her butt at him with an occasional slap.
“Now tic tac toe...uh-huh,
Tic tac toe...let's go,
Tic tac toe...you got it,
Tic tac toe...let's ride!”
Miroku's eyes widened and his hand trembled.
“Now freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, freestyle, your style!”
Sango shook her head laughing as the kids dragged her up to dance with them. Soon, everyone was dancing “freestyle”, even Jaken, everyone that is except Sesshomaru.
Rin tugged on Kagome's skirt.
“Sesshomaru-sama, where he at?”
Kagome turned to see him disappear into the surrounding trees. She sighed and pointed.
“There he go.”
Final Day
Kagome counted the money in her wallet dreading the loss of her hard earned funds going towards Sango's soon to be purchase reward. She sighed. Who knew it was going to be this hard to make Sesshomaru laugh. She hadn't even gotten a chuckle from him. Not a snigger. Not a huff. What she had gotten was glared at, humiliated and put down.
Dusk was upon them and everyone had settled in their spots for the night. The brighter stars and the moon could already be seen and Kagome walked over to sit by Sesshomaru with a plop.
He did not look at her.
Kagome gazed into the sky and smiled to herself thinking of her mother.
“Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder what you are;
Up above the world so high;
Like a diamond in the sky;
Twinkle, twinkle little star;
How I wonder what you are.”
Sesshomaru looked at her and saw that Kagome wasn't looking at the sky anymore but him.
“Am I this star you speak of miko?”
Kagome smiled.
“Fitting isn't it?”
Sesshomaru smiled back and laughed lowly.
“You are persistent.”
The sun had set and Kagome knew she lost the bet. Still, she felt she had gotten the better reward.