Title: Sunday drive.
Author: Hairann
Theme: Hairann's Weird-ified Challenge: She drives like crazy
Genre: Comedy
AU/CU: AU
Rating: T
Warnings: Do not try this at home.
Word Count: 1580
Summary: Sometimes you should really listen to what people tell you.
I do not own the song She drives like crazy, Weird Al does.
“You're driving too fast, slow down. You're already going ten miles over the speed limit as it is,” a gruff voice informed the driver as he watched them fly through a yellow light. “Also I believe you have been misinformed, yellow means slow down and stop, not speed up to get through before it turns red.” The driver simply giggled in response as she flipped her dark hair off of her shoulder.
“And you're too uptight. This is an unused road and the weather's good, a few extra miles per hour isn't going to hurt any. This isn't my first time behind the wheel, I know how to drive. My mother taught me how and she's an excellent driver. Just sit back and relax, enjoy the ride,” she instructed before blowing a bubble in her gum, the annoying popping quickly getting on his nerves.
“I find that hard to believe if this is how she taught you to drive,” he replied as she took a right turn at, at least, twice the speed she should have, causing the tires to squeal as she pressed down on the break mid turn, never letting up on the accelerator. “You know, even race car drivers know to slow down at turns, not speed up and press the break at the same time. You are killing the poor car.”
“Man, you really need to chill out and mom really is a good driver, she doesn't drive anything like me. She drives five miles under the limit, makes complete stops at stop signs, never goes through yellow lights and always stops well before crosswalks,” she informed him before flipping her dark hair over her shoulder once again as she took another turn far too quickly causing his knuckles to turn white as he tightened his grip on the door.
“I do not need to chill out, what I need is to get home in one piece, now let up on the accelerator and learn to use the break already,” he insisted turning his head to glare at the young girl who simply giggled again and continued to speed up. Gritting his teeth to keep from growling at her, least it scare her while driving, he turned his attention back to the incoming road, hoping no one randomly decided to start using this road.
“Jeez, we're not going to crash you know. I have been driving for a while now and still haven't crashed once. I told you, no one ever uses this road and I know it like the back of my hand. Though I've never really understood that expression, I mean really, how many people pay attention to the back of their hands? Let alone memorize them?” she inquired, taking her eyes off of the road to glance over at him causing him to become even more nervous than he was already.
“I am sure there is a reason for the expression, however, I am not aware of it. Now put your eyes back on where you are going. Or we really will crash,” he told her, griping his handle even tighter, to the point he was afraid it would break off under the pressure. Rolling her dark eyes, she turned her gaze back to the road. After a few moments of silence had passed over them, she began to fidget in her seat, unused to the quiet.
Deciding she could no longer stand it, she reached down and turned on the radio, screeching when she heard what was playing. “I love this song,” she informed him as if it mattered to her passenger. Singing along with the lyrics as loud as she could, she quickly had him wishing the car wasn't equipped with a radio. “You know, you two are really suited for each other,” she told him when the song had finished, drawing his attention back to her.
“You're both boring and dull. That was a kick ass song and yet you seem like you have never heard it before. What rock have you two been living under anyways?” she wondered as she sped up through a yellow light, but before he had the chance to answer, if he was planning to anyway, a high pitch siren sounded off behind them quickly followed by flashing red and blue lights. “Oh lovely, why is he even patrolling out here anyways? No one uses this road.”
Even as she continued to grumble under her breath, she began to slow the car down before pulling off to the side of the road. Rolling down her window, she reached across her passenger to grab her information out of the glove box before turning back just as the police officer arrived at her window. “License and registration, please,” he requested as he shined a flashlight into the car, first into her face and then into his.
“Here you are, officer,” she greeted him with a smile as she handed them over while subtly giving the man a quick once over. “Is there a problem, officer?” she continued, allowing her smile to grow until it encompassed her entire face. Remaining silent until he had finish checking to make sure the id belonged to her, the officer handed back her information before raising the flashlight back to her face.
“Do you have any idea how fast you were going?” he inquired in a deep, stern voice that reminded her of her passenger's voice.
“Why of course, officer. I was going 35 miles per hour, which unless I missed a sign, is the speed limit on this road. It didn't change on me without me noticing it, did it?” she questioned putting on her best pout as though she had been completely unaware that she had been going well over 45 miles per hour.
“Miss, you were not going 35, you were doing 50 in a 35 zone. I'm going to have to write you a ticket for this,” he began only to be met with a case of well timed water works. Stuttering he turned toward the passenger for help, only to find him as unsettled by the tears as he was.
“But, it said I was only going 35,” she insisted, in between sobs, as she pointed to her dash board. “I can't believe that stupid thing is broken. Oh why didn't I notice it before, I could have hurt someone,” she whine a moment before beginning to bang her head on the steering wheel. “A ticket?” she questioned as she glanced back up at the officer after a moment, as if she just realized what he had said.
“Oh no, my father is going to kill me. When my sister got a parking ticket, he grounded her for months and she wasn't able to go to her prom. Oh no, I won't be able to go to my prom?” she questioned as if the officer had any idea of the answer. “But I already have my dressed bought and everything. It took me months of saving up to pay for it,” she cried going back to banging her head on the wheel.
In no mood to spend the next hour trying to calm her down when he only had five minutes left of his shift, the officer decided to take pity on the poor girl. “I'll let you off with a warning this time, but get your speedometer looked at as soon as possible so this doesn't happen again. And drive at at least ten miles under what you think are going so you will be doing the speed limit,” he instructed before bidding her a goodnight and heading back to his cruiser.
Turning back on her engine, she pulled out away from the curb, careful to go the correct speed as she continued heading home. Hearing nothing but silence from her passenger, she turned to him with a questioning look. “What?” she inquired after a moment before turning her attention back to the road. Once she was sure the police cruiser was no longer following her, she sped back up to over five miles over the limit.
“You barely got out of that ticket and yet you still speed? And what was that about your sister not being able to go to her prom? Last I checked, you don't have a sister. And who is this horrible father you were referring to?” he inquired, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw their destination appear before them.
“Oh that, I just said it cause it always gets me out of tickets,” she explained with a shrug as she began to slow down and pulled into the drive way. Jumping out of the car the moment the engine was off and the emergency break was in place, she handed the keys to the woman waiting with a smile, before heading into the house without another word.
“She is your daughter, Kagome,” the man accused after closing the passenger door and heading passed her on his way in. Confused, Kagome simply stood there in silence for a moment before jogging to catch up to him.
“That's not very nice, Sesshoumaru. I told you Rin drove like a lunatic. If you had just listened to me in the first place, you never would have had to go through that.”