AN: (EDITED 02/04/10) Welcome! This is my first Sessh X Kag attempt, and I hope you enjoy it.
Couple of brief things you may wish to know:
The core theme of the story about how terminal illness changes ones outlook and behavior. Close death can rock and tilt ones life upside down as they work through their grief. This story starts off where Sesshoumaru has already started to known for a while what he is at risk for. I will explain how is character and outlook has changed at about the midway point of the story. Hang tight.
I would like to dedicate this fiction to anyone who has had a close one pass away of cancer. My heart goes out to anyone who had to watch someone pass on from brain cancer, it is a horrible disease.
Arigato Gozaimasu,
-Kaze
Dedicated to RR & JS.
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Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Days
He had everything a simple fool could want- lands, servants, title, power, and strength. Having thought to have completed the Path of Supreme Conquest, there was little else he found he desired. With his arm returned, his own sword, and his abilities having surpassed those of the former Great Dog Demon, he felt little need to remember one peice was missing. One small fragment was void in his otherwise perfect life. Each time, he told himself to forget. Each time, he reminded himself the single absent thing was not meant to be, and called upon his harsh, militant upbringing to drown him once more in the emotionless role he was meant to play until the end of his days. Not too shortly after each time he squashed the nagging reminder, he would find himself flying over to THAT village. He would leave a new kimono for his ward, and that would be all. But several times, this reminder was present.
' This is apparently not my lucky day' he mused as he flew over the village, soaring through the skies. He looked down at the woman, her wavy, raven locks now long enough to reach her waist, and her now fully grown womanly body clad in her miko attire. A smile never quite managed to his lips as he remembered, once more, that they were the colors of his house. He wondered, momentarily- how the crest of his house would suit her kimono, and how her figure could be complimented even more by tossing aside her current simple holy robes with that of the smooth lines and simple elegance the kimono of his house could offer. She would be pampered, cared for, and in times of battle be the perfect companion at his side. Her heart was big enough to accept his mere half brother, even when the second miko was in the picture she looked past his faults and continued to love him. A nagging voice within him, the beast, or perhaps his heart spoke softly, 'Would this onna not do the same for this Sesshoumaru?' as he looked down on the object of his last, remaining desire in this world. The woman- the only woman he could fathom spending the rest of his icy existence with.
She would look divine within his house- but truth was, she already was perfect as she was. Already it astounded him how much of a vision she was, and had grown to be, and how the young woman worked and toiled harshly to unlock her powers and devote her life to her friends. She was a true selfless heart, and for him, perhaps the only hope he could have. Upon seeing him, those cobalt eyes of hers lit up and sparkled, her slender hands reaching up towards him in the sky, her face brighting with her smile as she greeted him. For a moment, he was convinced she was truly, truly happy to see him as...
"Hello, Brother-in-law!"
Fuck. His mood spoiled with the harsh reminder as she called him, his aura shifted entirely to its polar opposite. With a grunt of disdain towards the title, not borthering to respond properly to Shikon Miko, he left as quickly as he came without so much as a word.
Below, Kagome's eyes followed his form as she crossed her arm in a huff. Her soon-to-be mate walked up behind her and growled at Sesshoumaru's rapidly retreating form. "I guess he doesn't like me calling him that..."
Inuyasha scoffed. "Pff. I wouldn't worry about the bastard. Now wench, about dinner..."
Kagome turned around, her eye ticking, and he fliched at her reaction waiting for it....
"Inuyashaaaaaa..." she smiled overly sweetly, drawing nearer. He gulped and nodded as she poked him in the chest with an index finger.
"You're cooking." With that she turned around and walked away as he breathed a sigh of relief from the non-use of THAT dreaded word. That is, until he realized what she DID say.
"Dammit! That's not fair!" Her joyous laughter could be heard as he ran after her as he protested against her claims. She was an exceptionally good mood today- for tomorrow was her wedding day. Her friends were on a pilgrimage, and tomorrow they would be reunited for a happy occassion. Inuyasha ran past her gloating about how her slow human legs couldn't keep up, and she giggled.
"I can hold you back for a moment while I catch up, you know! All I have to say is-" he yelped, running off at her mention of the dreaded word. Laughing and brushing her hair from her face, her eyes looked back behind her, not surprised to see all signs of the Daiyoukai gone from within the skies.
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Back in the castle, in his room soft growls could be heard as he tried to regain control. Fists pounded once against the floor as his eyes flashed to a dangerous red. The onna could not be his. Any semblance of an idea that she could be obtained, needed to be eradicated from his mind immediately. This time, he could not, could NOT do it again! From now on, any parcels would be delievered by someone other than him. This time he would be vigilant. This time, he would succeed...
Taking in a sharp breath, he bitterly chuckled. He had already come to the miserable conclusion to his current situation for quite some time, he was starting to wear thin. He knew he would see her again. When one had power such as he did, things became intolerably miserable- with no one in his life to match his strength, he was...
...alone. It had not bothered him before, but now, he felt as if he truly understood the meaning of the word.
As he had walked the Path of Supreme Conquest, and succeeded, at the end of the journey, there had been no one to share his strength with. No mate to protect. No mate to share his victories his. No mate to fight at his side. Before, when he stayed busy on his goals, he never stopped to consider why he was bothering with him. Now, the one question his father asked burned through him. "Do you have someone to protect?" he growled almost savagely- and the memory was not a fond one. The night his father chose the ningen hime and hanyou bastard son, instead of remaining with his heir! Then, his heirloom being left to Inuyasha, and the heirloom he left for Sesshoumaru merely became a footlocker for yet another damned technique to be used by Tetsaiga. As Sesshoumaru became stronger and stronger, fewer female demons were willing to marry one who had proven so savage and cruel in battle. It mattered little, anyways.
It was over a period of years, in which he encountered the Inutatchi that he began to see the miko. First an annoying ningen brat that got in his way, he saw how she took to her hanyou companion. Demon or not, friend or foe, her heart remained strong and vigilant. He knew not when his heart changed, but he was not ashamed anymore of his affection for the miko. Now, he merely he kept it within now due to her connection with another even thought he was aware of the tremendous cost to him. He would not take another, and she was not to be had. That was the reason, and the reason alone he did not pursue her. The line would end, simple as that. He would fail. His brother had won everything, before he even knew this battle had started. His hanyou brother would have his kingdom, his strength, his swords, and it was all due to the fact the woman had been the hanyou's right from the start. Even the loss of his father's prized sword seemed to pale in comparision to the mess he faced now.
Closing his eyes, his mind flashed back to those times their eyes had met, the times her voice called out his name, and his mind followed along the path of his memory once more to remember how the miko had grown in strength, power, and love. He could not recall the moment he started to hope. Watching her attentions on his half brother, he no longer desired the seemingly political demonic mating, nor were there any demon females to be had of his caliber. Simply put, he would not budge.
A timid and scuttling form hurried to his door, jumping up once nervously before knocking frantically. "Sesshoumaru-sama! I hate to bother you my lord, but the Daiyoukai of the North, East, and South are here. It seems urgent."
He knew. It was time, wasn't it? Thinking momentarily back on his years, he counted rapidly before sighing inaudibly. 500 years. That is why he saw her today. His five hundreth year had started on this, godforasken, damnable day. This was the time Daiyoukai were forced to settle down, if they had not already. If they did not by this time, they were normally figured as unalbe to do so, their titles soon to be stripped from them. Why lead, if no one was to follow and continue the line?
The door snapped open as he walked briskly past a stuttering Jaken, heading into the receiving room. The lords turned and bowed, impassive masks present on their faces, as well as his. "Sesshoumaru-sama. We are here to urge the most important matter of mateship upon you for your 500th year. Surely you know, if you do not intend on continuing your line, you must forfeit and turn it over, lest the penatly be death. You have three hundred and sixty-five days from tomorrow to obtain your mate." Three small puppets fell to the floor as their visage faded, Sesshoumaru turning around with an uninterested look upon his face. Apparently, they didn't even do him the honor of a proper visit to let him know of this important ultimatum. Was it out of fear of his strength?
'Forfeit my kingdom. Everything I worked for? Turn it over to my halfing brother...hn....I'd rather die.'
He intended to do just that, if need be. Going into his chambers, a dark look on his face as he barked out for sake, and the last parchments written by his father. When the items came, he gulped down the first canteen before reaching for the delicate parchment with angry hands. He froze as his rough handling of the fragile document turned dust within his hand. Staring at it for a moment he came to a harsh realization of his fate- was he to become mere dust in a year?
Honor be damned. Closing his eyes he got up, walking over to the balcony and opening his hand, allowing all that was left of the document written by the former Daiyoukai's hand be carried by the wind. His hair whipping behind him in anger, his eyes tinged in red, and his jaw lock in a firm set, he made a resolution.
'I will find a way. I know not what a human needs, but I learn. There must be something- and I will visit her everyday until I know what it is! If I am to truly lose everything, including my life, I shall not go down without the privledge of seeing her each day I have left!'