Title: One Thousand Paper Cranes
Author: Priestess Skye
Word Count: 7,490
Rating: K
Category: Drama, Romance
Summary: Love grows as we grow. A girl gives the boy she loves one thousand paper cranes and faces rejection. What isn’t always obvious back then can change. This is their story
Notes: This is for dokuga_contest’s one year anniversary challenge, prompt: paper. There was no way I could not do this challenge as I remember my excitement leading up to the beginning of dokuga_contest. One thousand paper cranes typically symbolize good health, but there are a few instances where it can be used as something else as well. It can used as a matchmaking charm for a Japanese girl when she turns 13. She would make 1000 paper cranes and give it to an admired boy. They can also be bestowed upon a couple on their wedding day as a wish of happiness.
Beta'd by the super awesome Wiccan! Thank you!
~~
At five years old, Kagome knew who she was going to marry. Of course, all of her friends from school knew who they wanted to marry, but she was different. There was no want. She was sure of it. Her best friend’s older brother was everything she wanted and more. He had his own tree house. When she was older, probably ten, she swore she would live in it with him, acting like the dutiful wife serving him tea. After all, her mother served her father tea everyday, though they didn’t live in a tree house.
“Brat,” Sesshoumaru scolded his younger brother when Inuyasha would pester him. It wasn’t unusual to see her friend following his brother around the house, mimicking his every move and using it to antagonize Sesshoumaru. She would sit quietly on the couch watching the two of them with curious eyes. The elder brother never paid her any mind, and why should he when he was ten and she was five? Their worlds were different. Hers included dolls and action figures and Inuyasha. He had his tree house. She didn’t know what entertained him so much up there, as he rarely seemed to invite anybody else to join him, but it was still his.
She watched as their taunts slowly turned physical, as they did each and every time they were in a room for longer than five minutes. Sometimes their fighting was unbelievable. Even at five years of age she knew that siblings shouldn’t fight as they did, and she swore that the kids she had with Sesshoumaru wouldn’t fight like this either. Insults and taunts usually led to hitting, then kicking, then full out wrestling on the floor. And, while Inuyasha was strong, Sesshoumaru was stronger. Still, she found herself sitting on the sidelines many times, silently cheering Sesshoumaru on as he yanked on Inuyasha’s hair. There was no style to the way they fought. It was as if there were no holds barred and she knew that, if she intervened, she’d end up with a fist in her face.
“Juice, Kagome?” Inuyasha’s mother, Sesshoumaru’s step-mother, offered as she took a seat next to the little girl. She gingerly accepted the offered juice box and offered a smile in thanks. If she had learned one thing while spending time with this family, it’s that, often, words weren’t needed. Izayoi sighed as she watched the boys. “They’re at it again, huh? Sometimes I don’t know what to do with the two of them.” She reached over and adjusted Kagome’s doll next to her.
“Sesshoumaru’s the big brother,” Kagome explained, beaming with pride at her knowledge. “He has to show Inuyasha that he’s bigger and stronger.”
The woman next to her began to giggle lightly, threading her fingers through Kagome’s hair. “How is your mother, Kagome?” she asked, changing the subject.
The little girl smiled. “She’s having a baby,” Kagome declared, not sure what to think of it herself, but her mother had assured her it was a good thing. “She told me yesterday I’m going to be a big sister.” She scrunched her face. “I don’t know how to be a big sister. Do I beat up on them like Sesshoumaru does?”
Izayoi laughed fully this time, hugging the child close to her. “No, but you’ll know what to do when the time comes. As a big sister you need to be there to show them what to do, and protect them. I’ve tried to stop Sesshoumaru, but Mr. Taisho told me that’s the way boys act. You’re a girl, so you’ll do it differently. Girls always act differently than boys.”
“Okay, 'cause I don’t like fighting.”
The hand that was threaded in her hair let go to give it a gentle pat before standing up. “You’ll do fine, Kagome. You’re a lovely child. I could only wish I had a daughter like you.”
One day, Kagome thought with a smile. One day Izayoi could call her daughter. Sipping her juice box she dreamed of future days where she and Sesshoumaru would be happily married, and she’d be able to serve him tea in real life, just as she always did in her pretend tea parties.
~~
Her fingers bled. Slowly, every now and again, she would take the nearby tissue and dab the cuts before the blood would stain the paper, but there was no use for a Band-Aid. It would only cause her fingers to fumble more so than they already did. She had followed a pattern for the first twenty, requiring the instructions printed in the book to do so. But the last three hundred or so she was working by memory. This had been a month-long project, as she was determined to have all one thousand completed before the end of summer. Sesshoumaru would be leaving then, for university. She refused to let him leave without knowing how she felt.
She knew now it was ridiculous to have thought they would be married by ten. Ten had come and gone three years ago with barely a thought to her impending marriage. It just didn’t seem realistic. The dreams of a five year old weren’t realistic. Still, she wanted him. She had grown up wanting the youkai, wishing that he could belong to her. She could wait for the day for him to acknowledge her. This was the first step, the first way to declare her intentions and show him that she was worthy of him. Oh, she knew it couldn’t go beyond shared words for the next few years, but maybe, by the time she was eighteen, he’d be ready to settle. He’d be finished with university and ready to start a job and career all his own. The age gap wouldn’t be so big then.
Inuyasha had scoffed at her project when she announced it last month while shopping for the book and packages of paper. She didn’t want to simply work with white paper when she could work with colours. Still, she knew the colours couldn’t be out there. Sesshoumaru, while complex, was also very simple. His room was kept neat and tidy. He was a martial arts fan and preferred to work out on the large, spacious floor rather than clutter it wiyh obsolete pieces of furniture. She figured that was where Inuyasha developed his own sense of style from. As much as the boys swore they were different, they were actually very similar to each other. Both had a single desk upon which to do work, though Inuyasha rarely used his, both had a small futon in the corner by the window, and had a working theme of red throughout, though Sesshoumaru's was interspersed white. Above Sesshoumaru’s desk hung a sword, his inheritance from his father which had been given to him on his eighteenth birthday. She knew Inuyasha was eagerly awaiting his own one day. The spot had already been set aside for it. Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga, twin swords for two boys who only tolerated each other because they were bound together by blood.
Otherwise, she was sure they wouldn’t say a word to each other.
She lifted a sheet of red paper and began folding the edges lightly, making sure every fold, every crease, was perfectly aligned. He demanded no less than perfection, and she would not be able to show her admiration properly if even one was off. One thousand was a lot to make, and occupied much of her free time, but they would be worth it, she swore with a grimace as she sliced yet another finger.
“Why the hell do you even want him?” Inuyasha whined as he played his latest video game. He had spent the afternoon with her doing nothing but bemoaning the fact that she was about to make a fool of herself.
Kagome paused for a moment, trying to think of why she wanted Sesshoumaru. Cautiously, she placed the finished crane with the others. “I don’t know. There’s something about him. He makes me feel…” she couldn’t find a word to describe it. Something in her gut told her that he was the one for her. They were fated to be. “I don’t know. I just do and I know if I don’t act now he’ll go away to school forever and I’ll never see him again.”
“He’s a cruel, heartless bastard. You’ll get your own heart broken,” he predicted, before yelling in triumph at defeating the latest and greatest of enemies. Kagome smiled, grabbing one last piece of red paper and began to fold. Five hundred red, and five hundred white. For the past month she had been doing nothing but spending her time at Inuyasha’s, folding paper. There was no way she could do it all at home, knowing that transporting one thousand paper cranes would be nearly impossible. As it was, she had to hope her timing was just right. She wanted him to come home to her gift already set up. It would be pointless if he walked in half way through. On the other hand, though, she didn’t know if she could wait for hours on end for him to return.
“It’s my heart, Inuyasha,” Kagome chided as she reached for the first pile of fifty white cranes. She had two hours, more than enough time she hoped. Tonight had to be the night. Tomorrow, he would be gone and off to university. She had no clue as to when he would return. She didn’t mind waiting for him until he finished, but she wanted to stake her claim now.
Her feet padded silently through the large, spacious hallway. The plush maroon carpeting did much to drown out any noise she would have made. She scowled at Inuyasha’s door one last time. Her friend refused to help her in this endeavour. He had been dead set against this union since she first told him about her plans to marry Sesshoumaru at the age of seven. Even still, he should have been there, supporting her.
One by one she lay the cranes across Sesshoumaru’s room, hanging some from the ceiling, placing some on his bed, his desk, his dresser, the window sill, and the rest on the floor as there was no other place to set them down. While she knew he wouldn’t know the difference between nine hundred and one thousand, she insisted on completing her task, believing it to be a bad omen if she was off by even one. This wasn’t just a single man she was trying to snatch up. This was her future.
“Oi. Say by some miraculous quirk of fate the asshole decides to pay attention to you,” Inuyasha began by the doorway, “what are you going to do? Your mother won’t let you date him. She won’t let you date anybody.”
“We’ll figure it out,” she replied confidently, before looking down and frowning.
“What now?” His question was gruff, but beneath she knew there was sincerity. They had been friends since they were toddlers. He couldn’t help but care.
Her hands fell flat against her dress, pulling it tight. “I have no boobs. Boys his age like boobs.”
“Oh for the love of…” her friend stalked over to her. “Look, he’s going to turn you down anyway but, if he does, it won’t be because you don’t have boobs. He doesn’t even care about that. He’ll turn you down 'cause he’s a bastard and does bastard-like things like that.” He ran his fingers through his silver hair. Much like his brother, Inuyasha was letting his grow out. The only difference was that her friend’s hair was an unruly mess while Sesshoumaru kept his brushed and pulled back. They were more alike than they knew, she thought again, and it offered a little bit of comfort. Surely, if Inuyasha could put up with her for so long, so could his brother. Granted, they hadn’t talked much growing up, Sesshoumaru having his own friends and all, but she was around often enough that he wasn’t oblivious to her either. “He’s here now. If he hurts you, just let me know and I’ll kick his ass. I’m against this whole thing, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let him treat you like shit.”
She smiled her thanks and nervously watched him leave. Would Sesshoumaru really be all that cruel? Could he really be the type to tear her heart apart like that? She didn’t believe it. He was too much of a gentleman to do that. And she had never really seen him with other girls before, so he couldn’t be too much of a heartbreaker. Definitely not a player.
She heard the soft footsteps seconds before the door to his room creaked open. She waited with bated breath, full of apprehension as to what his reaction would be. Surely he would appreciate all of the work she went through, and there was no doubt in her mind that he would understand the message behind everything. Her hands grew sweaty and clammy as she held them together in front of her. Her eyes widened as his golden ones scanned the room before narrowing down on her.
There was no upward quirk of his lips, nothing to indicate what he was feeling at this very moment. He tossed his book bag on the floor, crushing five or six of the cranes. Her hopes fell. He was going to ruin her.
He didn’t say a word as he picked another one up, a red one, and he examined the various folds. Golden eyes pierced her own and, for all of one moment, she thought she saw a touch of disdain in them. Her chest grew heavy as she struggled to breathe, and the walls began to close in on her. She needed to get out. She couldn’t see let him see how much he was affecting her.
Inuyasha was right. All it took was one word and her whole world came crashing down on her, her hopes, her dreams for the future that she had spent years imagining.
“Ridiculous.”
~~
She had wanted to stand next to him today, offer him the support he needed to make it through the day. His then-fiancée, now wife, had denied her the role. Kagome watched the couple from afar as they danced their first dance. Inuyasha, for once, looked so dazzling in his black and white tuxedo and red vest, and Kikyou looked every bit as stunning in the simple, white dress. She was happy for him, for them, she really was. For months she had struggled to let go of the anger she felt when he told her Kikyou wouldn’t let him have a woman as his best man. For two years they had been struggling with her role in his life. She was his best friend, had always been his best friend, nothing more. She had never once dreamed of the jealousy she might feel at having to share him with somebody else, or having the bride know that there was another woman in his life, even if it was in a non-sexual, non-romantic way.
But now, watching them, she felt a little disappointed at her own behaviour. She had genuinely liked Kikyou in the beginning, and she knew, now that they were married, she could like her again. But a single question seemed to float through her mind as she watched Inuyasha hold his new bride. What role would she play in his life now? She could no longer sneak over in the middle of the night when she was feeling lonely, and she could no longer monopolize his time.
She stirred the straw in her whiskey sour, turning her eyes to watch the mini whirlpool for a moment. Inuyasha wouldn’t miss her attention, not when they had at least one hundred other sets of eyes on them. She wasn’t so much melancholy over the union as she was over what she was about to lose. Twenty years ago she had her own plan, and this was supposed to be her dancing with her husband instead of him and his wife. Of course that was all a pipe dream.
She didn’t even feel like drinking, not that she was a heavy drinker. Her whiskey-sour had been sitting in that glass for nearly an hour, the ice that once filled the tumbler had melted away into tiny slivers. Sighing, Kagome placed the tumbler back on the table. If she were honest with herself, she wouldn’t finish it. The drink would be too much for a night like this. Besides, she was to give a toast later to the happy couple. She shouldn’t be drunk for that.
“His happiness is sickening.” She turned around at the sound of the voice to see Sesshoumaru standing behind her, looking dashing in his tux. Despite his initial rejection years ago, and her ensuing hate of the male, she could still feel the butterflies tumbling in her stomach at the sight of him. The last time she had seen him was at the family dinner announcing Inuyasha’s engagement. He hadn’t even looked at her then, but she still felt the impact of his presence.
Long, silver hair was pulled back into a low ponytail and his golden eyes still maintained the intense gaze they always had, only now they held the wisdom of years of experience. The disdain she felt toward him did little to overshadow the excitement she felt at having him speak to her. How was it that a childhood crush could still make her feel like that? She had spent years trying to forget about him and his harsh words. Boyfriends had come and gone and yet none of them could make her feel the same way about them as she had about Sesshoumaru Taisho.
Even Kouga, whom she had considered marrying a year before, didn’t come close. There was a certain wildness about her university love, and something reckless about their relationship. But it didn’t hold the stability she realized she was looking for. Now, she was watching her best friend marry a woman who hated her, and his brother who had ignored her for years was attempting to converse with her. No, she had never read about this night in her cards.
“Shut up. Just because you don’t have what he does doesn’t mean you should be speaking ill of him on his wedding day. Show some support.”
“I supported this union when I stood next to him and signed the papers. Kikyou is not the one I would have picked for him, though she has tamed him, something I knew you could never do.”
For once she was glad she was sober tonight as she glared at him. Her anger and irritation with him was very real, not something she wanted hidden behind the excuse of alcohol. And still, Sesshoumaru affected her, as he always had from the moment she met him. When he was eighteen he had shown his true colours and turned her down cold, without any regard to her feelings. She had heard stories about him from time to time. Rumour had spread around that he was a playboy in his field, dating several women who worked in and out of his company. Inuyasha had told her that wasn’t the least bit true, as Sesshoumaru was the type who enjoyed his solitude. However, his solitude seemed to have turned him to ice. She could feel the chills rolling down her spine as he glared at her. Turning her head away, she ignored him, missing the narrowed look in his amber eyes as she did so.
“You were always too spirited for Inuyasha. Your personalities clashed,” he continued, moving so he blocked her view, forcing her to look at him. “Your high school crush would have ended in disaster if you had been bold enough to make a move.”
“He needed to come to me,” she replied through clenched teeth. “And it was a simple high school crush, not meant to go anywhere. I refused to open myself up like that to rejection again. Once was enough, thank you very much.” How was it, she wondered, that he still managed to twist her stomach into knots after all these years? She should have hated him. She did hate him. The asshole had no redeeming qualities to him, and yet he could stand there and easily drive her from one extreme emotion to another without much provocation.
His lips quirked upward in a slight smirk. “And it’s no wonder why you’re still single today,” he replied before finding himself covered with her untouched drink.
“Bastard.” She excused herself from the table with a huff, failing to see the small white paper crane he had placed on her dinner plate.
~~
The park was one of Kagome’s favourite places. She often found herself here, sitting on the white bench inside the gazebo which overlooked the garden’s flowers. It was a peaceful spot to end a particularly rough day.
And it didn’t get much rougher than today she thought with a grimace. The children’s ward at the local hospital was becoming filled once more. Her favourite, a five year old little boy, had taken a turn for the worse this morning and she had assisted in setting him up on a breathing apparatus. There was something strange and unnatural about watching a child receiving medical assistance from a machine. At five she was running around with her own wooden sword chasing after Inuyasha. She had never fully appreciated her childhood before coming to work in the children’s ward. The brightly coloured walls covered with the artwork of children past and present helped to brighten her days a little, but days such as today were exhausting; mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Everything else had gone well, but the little boy had the ability to touch her heart somewhere and, every time he took a turn for the worse, she found herself praying to whatever deities were above to give him the strength to push on. She was at the point where she was wondering why she kept this job and didn’t switch to a different area to work. Sick adults were a lot easier to manage than sick children. But then sick children were often in higher spirits.
The bright pinks and yellows of the flowers were enough to brighten her spirits somewhat. There was something peaceful about this section of the park and it was often enough to calm her. Children played off in the distance; happy and healthy, without a care in the world. Families walked their dogs nearby. Couples often sat beneath the sakura trees, holding hands, having a picnic. Inuyasha and she used to do the same and share their dreams. She imagined he now did the same with Kikyou. Regardless, this place was full of life. It managed to counter some of her worse days.
The cool air shifted around her, warming for a moment before she felt him sit next to her. This was the second time since Inuyasha’s wedding she had run into him, or in this case, he ran into her. It was so strange... how they could go for years without seeing each other, then suddenly, when there was no longer the tie of Inuyasha between them, they begin to find each other more and more. If she were five years younger, perhaps she would have believed it to be fate. Now, she figured he was just being cruel, though a little less unbearable.
Old feelings were beginning to grow anew, something she was fighting adamantly against. She had hoped they were gone; buried, out of sight, and out of mind. They probably would have been - if he had just stayed away longer. It was never a good thing when old feelings began to mix with new. “I was having a perfectly good sit-down here,” she berated, leaning forward, resting her chin on her open palms. Kagome refused to look at him. She knew the moment she did she’d be caught daydreaming about running her fingers through his silver hair. That was something that had never changed. “How was your day?”
“Uninteresting.” He leaned back, resting his arms on the back of the bench. Kagome’s back instinctively stiffened up, as if to protect her from some sort of oncoming onslaught. “Meetings only numb the mind, not stimulate them.”
“Your choice, your career.”
“Hn.” They sat in companionable silence as she watched a stray bird fall to the ground and hop between the flowers. For a moment, Kagome wondered what it would be like to be the bird, having no real commitments, no appointments, and no drama. The only thing it would need to worry about is finding its next meal and, judging by the way this one was pecking at the soft soil, it had already found it. “You always sit in the same bench.”
“Astute observation, Einstein,” she teased back. “Next time you’ll notice that I always wear my hair in a ponytail as well.” Fingertips found their way to the end of her ponytail and played with the soft tendrils of her hair, before falling away again. Kagome forgot how to breathe. How was it a mere touch could affect her? And since when did Sesshoumaru go playing with hair belonging to others? This was a guy who habitually separated himself from others, believing himself to be that much more superior. She could not recall one instance in all of the years she had known him that he willingly touched anybody, except maybe to beat up on Inuyasha. "What are you doing here?"
"Fresh air. I needed to get away from the fools who believe they know all there is to know about better business." He leaned back against the bench, stretching his long legs out. She couldn't say he was relaxed, as she had never seen him fully relaxed, but he was pretty close to it. Was he always this much on guard? "I was taking a walk when I saw you sitting here."
She didn't know how to reply to that, as that had been his excuse the last three times he joined her on this bench. He needed to clear his head, he needed to get away, and he needed to go to a park he had rarely visited before. She had been a patron of this park for years and never once had she seen Sesshoumaru. Even Inuyasha couldn't explain it when she last mentioned it to him. "Sesshoumaru, why are you really here?" she asked, unwilling to look at him.
"You were here."
The words were straightforward, to the point, much like he was. Yes, there were times when he was intentionally cryptic or vague, but he was nothing less than honest, ever, except maybe to himself some days. Regardless, he had never once lied to her. His words were confusing. Not once during their childhood did he acknowledge her presence, except the day he tore her heart in two with his cruel words. They were honest then, too, she thought miserably. She was being ridiculous, laying her heart on the line for a guy who clearly had more going for him than a thirteen year-old devotee.
“I don’t want you here anymore,” she whispered, her emotions playing havoc with her common sense. She wanted the torture to end, to cease feeling reminded of days long gone. They had both changed. They were different.
“You’re lying,” he replied easily. “You merely wish to protect yourself from whatever residual feelings you have. I remind you of your foolish behaviour and when you were young.”
Her blood began to boil and rise, and she felt her cheeks flush in both embarrassment and anger. How dare he mention that! How dare he think he can come sit next to her on a park bench and act all conceited and expect her to agree and allow him to continue to speak to her in this way. His telltale smirk said it all. “You’re a piece of work, Sesshoumaru. No wonder you’re still single. No woman would tolerate your arrogance.” She rose to leave when she felt his hand fall on her shoulder, pushing her back down.
“Peace,” he dictated as he rose himself. She felt something fall to her lap as he walked away. Her eyes followed him through the park, hoping that at least once he would turn back and look at her. Those foolish fantasies she had a child surfaced again. Turn back, she willed. Let him show his interest. And then he was gone from sight. Once again he let her down, she realized. Just as he always had. A small rustle could be heard as the wind blew around her, bringing her focus back to the item dropped in her lap.
A white paper crane, yellowed with age. What the hell?
~~
There were days when she loved her job, and days when she despised it. Today she needed to get away from it all. The children, the brightly coloured hospital walls, her co-workers and the great big black cloud that hung overhead, both physically and metaphorically. All of it was becoming overbearing. She knew there would be days like this when she signed up, and had already experienced many like this. But it never got easier. If anything, it became increasingly more difficult to cope with. How was she supposed find hope when everything around her seemed so hopeless at this moment? “Go home, Kagome,” her supervisor had told her at the end of her shift. She looked drained, felt drained. She knew she was pale, her posture slumped and her eyes were a dead giveaway as to how she felt. The rest of her patients knew and understood and she struggled to cope with the loss.
Her favourite patient. He had been in and out of the hospital several times in the last year and a half, but he had always been so strong, despite being so young. The entire nursing staff knew that it was only a matter of time before he passed on and gave up the good fight, but it was hard, nonetheless, to listen as the announcement was made earlier in the day.
The very words resonated through her and shook her to the core. It didn’t dawn on her until later that she would never walk into his room again and see his face light up with a smile as she brought his favourite book with her. She would never again hear his laugh. There were no words she could give to his mother today as they passed in the halls, only glances of mutual sorrow. Both were grieving. How could she say what she wanted to say? She had only lost a patient. The woman had lost a son.
Rain poured down from overhead, soaking her through as she stepped out the doors. Today would be a day for a cab, though she needed to walk to clear her head, to come to terms with the loss. She had lost patients before. It came with the job, but this one hit her especially hard. Kagome didn’t feel the cold as it seeped through her scrubs, molding the thin material to her body. Nor did she feel it as her ponytail fell flat against her neck and her bangs pressed against her forehead. Her wet skin didn’t matter. None of it seemed to matter.
The world around her disappeared as she began to walk in the direction of her small apartment. There, she knew, she would find her bathtub, her favourite bottle of bubble bath, hot chocolate, and her flannel pyjamas. She would be able to curl up in her easy chair and just let go in the sanctity of her own home. It was something she looked forward to.
The rain suddenly stopped, though she could hear it all around. Brought out of her trance, she first noticed the large umbrella covering her overhead, before noticing the hand and arm that held it. “It’s already too late,” she observed dully. “I’m wet.”
“And cold,” he agreed, noticing the small shivers. “But maybe this way you won’t get hypothermia walking home.”
“Thank you.”
It really was such a small consideration coming from an asshole like him, but she couldn’t help but feel grateful this once. “I hope your day has been better than mine.”
“Getting significantly better now,” Sesshoumaru replied, looking down at her. She could see the frown marring his face. So many times she had seen him and he had never smiled, yet somehow, a smile didn’t seem appropriate today, despite knowing that his company right now seemed to ease the burden. “I dropped by earlier for lunch, but I was informed that it was not a good time.”
Lunch, she mused. She hadn’t eaten yet, nor was she really hungry. Most of the staff in her ward seemed to simply move without worrying about daily nutrition, the requirement of food or drink to keep going. “No.”
They walked in relative silence, the sound of their footsteps splashing in the puddles echoing below them. She had nothing to say to him at the moment, and was grateful for his presence. She was afraid that anything that would come out of her mouth would be like venom and scare him away. Her building appeared upon the horizon, a simple red brick two-level apartment. She held the main floor above the entrance steps while her old college roommate lived in the level above. It was the perfect arrangement for them as they were inseparable through school. They were together, but still had their own space. Right now though, she didn’t want to see her. She didn’t want to see anybody.
Sesshoumaru lowered his umbrella as they reached the overhang covering the front door and she just stood there, unsure of what to say. She wasn’t in a cordial mood, but then, she wasn’t in a mood to be contradictory either. She just wanted to be.
Kagome’s eyes widened as Sesshoumaru’s hand came up and fell upon her cheek. Much like last week when he had played with her hair in the park, it was unexpected and almost surreal. It was warm against the chill of her skin.
And it broke her.
Everything she had bottled up all day finally let loose as she flew against him, pressing her face into the warm wool of his sweater. His arms came up around her, pulling her tight, and all of the misery she felt, all of the sorrow, the grieving was finally set free as he patiently held her.
It wasn't until after he left, when her tears dried up, that she found the tattered red crane in her purse.
~~
There was a hushed whisper that filled the hallways of the hospital as she walked through them. Many of her patients would giggle and snicker as she walked away, both confusing her and endearing them to her. Children were so obvious sometimes, and it was always so difficult to keep a secret amongst them. She adored them for this very reason, and knew there was something up. Not a single one of them could be deceitful. She entered the room of a little girl who just had her appendix removed and handed her a new glass of water before changing her IV drip. The little girl, a new charge since last night, smiled a big, toothy grin at her. "Your Prince Charming is coming to visit today. Is he as handsome as Prince Charming is supposed to be?"
Now she was truly perplexed, she didn't have anybody to refer to as her Prince Charming. She smiled at the little girl, choosing instead to humour her. "Nobody is as handsome as Prince Charming, and certainly not my Prince Charming, but he's a very nice man. That's what's important."
The child giggled before taking a slow sip from her cup. "Prince Charmings are always handsome. I think you're lying, Kagome, but I won't tell him that you think he's ugly."
She patted the little girl on the hand before leaving the room, signing a notation on the chart outside of her door. She could hear the snickering coming from down the hall at the nurses’ station and it wasn't long before she could see the commotion. There were an insane number of people standing around, including children who should be in their beds.
"Oh, Kagome, you have the sweetest man," one of her co-workers gushed as she grabbed the young nurse by the hand, dragging her to her desk behind the counter. "He appeared so genuine to all of us behind the counter, so charming, though so serious."
"What?" Her man? Charming? Serious? Kagome was shuffled behind the counter and seated before she knew what they were all talking about. She didn't know whether to laugh, cry, smile, or throw the offensive object in the garbage... Well maybe not the latter, as everybody was watching, and he was really good with her the other day, letting her sob all over his wool sweater. Even in the most secret of her dreams she had never imagined Sesshoumaru allowing her to cry all over him. He just didn’t seem the sensitive sort.
“Who is he, Kagome?” her co-worker asked as she leaned against the desk, watching Kagome pull the hot chicken dinner out of take-out bag. “I’d kill for somebody to bring me take-out from there. It’d cost me half my paycheque for sure.”
Kagome glanced at the logo on the bag. Leave it to Sesshoumaru to buy from one of the most expensive restaurants. But why would he go to all the trouble of bringing her lunch? Did she really seem that pathetic after the other day? She picked up the white paper crane and examined it, smiling lightly. How would she classify him? He didn’t fall into the category as boyfriend, as they weren’t seeing each other. He certainly wasn’t her lover either. Was he a acquaintance? Sure, he was her friend’s brother, but mutual acquaintances? They seemed to go beyond that despite their limited interactions. Sesshoumaru was not a man who would allow an acquaintance to cry all over him. Nor was he the type to bring lunch by for an acquaintance. She had known him long enough to know better. “A friend,” she replied, not bothering to glance at her co-worker as she answered. “Just an old friend.”
~~
Her day was almost surreal. Well, maybe almost was an understatement. It was most definitely surreal, from the spectacular lunch sitting at her desk to the spectacle before her. “There must be one thousand of them,” she commented as she walked through her living room. She didn’t even wonder how Sesshoumaru ended up with the key to her apartment. Her old roommate must have let him in, knowing precisely who he was. One didn’t live with another for several years without learning a thing or two about them. In this case, her roommate had learned about her childhood crush on Sesshoumaru, as well as the significance of one thousand paper cranes.
But to have them all tossed back at her was something else entirely. They covered her living room couch, chair, coffee table, television set. Some were strung together and hung from her ceiling. Others were placed in odd places like on top of her clock. All of them red and white and yellowed with age. She picked one up, letting the memory of making them seep into her mind. It was definitely a simpler time then. There was no doubt in her mind that they were hers. She spent too much time making them to not recognize them as her own work. Still, why were they here, in her apartment? “Did he keep them?” she asked aloud, walking by to lift a chain that was hanging off her chandelier.
“All one thousand of them,” Sesshoumaru confirmed as he walked out from the kitchen carrying the last chain. She stood, her jaw dropping as she glanced at him. What was he doing in her apartment hanging the cranes she had given to him? “Well there’s nine hundred and ninety six hanging up. I believe you have the other four.”
“Is this some kind of sick joke?” She dropped her bags to the floor in the middle of the living room, but didn’t move. She didn’t dare move, knowing that she’d either slap him or kiss him. Regardless, she’d be making a fool of herself in front of him and she’d done that more than enough times in this lifetime. Instead he came to her, draping the last chain over her shoulders, around her neck.
“You spent months making one thousand of these once to show me how you felt. I was a fool to believe it was ridiculous. I believe Inuyasha informed me of that several times after you left that day.”
She didn’t speak. She didn’t dare say a word. His fingers lifted to the clip holding her hair up and removed it, letting the long, raven tresses fall below her shoulders. She could feel the pink rising within her cheeks. “Inuyasha told me that it takes a very special girl to make a declaration as you had; whereas most girls would take five minutes to send a love letter, you let your fingers bleed as you folded the paper. No girl had ever shed blood for me, Kagome,” he continued, moving so he stood before her, just inches away. She could feel the intense heat coming off his body. She could smell his musky after shave and she was hit with the insane need of wanting to reach up and lick the hollow of his neck, just to see how he tasted. His words and his presence were like a drug to her system.
His fingers tugged on the back of her hair, forcing her to tilt her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. The normally icy amber was filled with a fire she had never seen before. “I’ve been watching you grow up, Kagome Higurashi. Ever since you were thirteen I’ve been watching you, waiting for you to become the woman both Inuyasha and I knew you would become.”
“No,” she whispered. “I was foolish back then. You were right, I was being ridiculous.”
“Yes, but look at where it has gotten you. Ridiculous and foolish isn’t always so bad. It was ridiculous to believe you and I could marry at ten, and perhaps it was foolish to spend all that time doing origami for a man leaving home and expecting him to drop everything for you-“
“I never intended for you to dro-" she interrupted before his finger fell upon her lips, silencing her.
“But your intentions were never foolish.”
She took a moment to breathe before pressing a small kiss to the digit covering her mouth. The butterflies were fluttering intensely in her stomach and he was making her weak in the knees. She realized, though, that it was no longer due to nervousness, but excitement instead. Something was happening! “And what now?” she dared to ask, hoping it didn’t break the spell in which he had her trapped.
“One thousand paper cranes,” he began, lowering his hands so they settled lightly on her hips. “They symbolize happiness, good health and general well-being. I think we can have all of those. What do you think?”
Once more she didn’t say a word, hoping that her actions could speak louder than words. She gave in to the feelings she held so many years ago, and the urges that differentiated the child from the woman, and stood on her toes so she was at his level, then took what she had wanted most all those years ago. His hands tightened around her, he pressed closer as she wrapped her hands in his silver hair and pulled him down.
Happiness, good health and general well-being. They were very good things indeed.