Disclaimer: I own no rights to "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" or its attibutes. Any and all story references to "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" children's novels fall under the athority of L. Frank Baum. Any and all references to "The Wizard of Oz" film fall under the athority of MGM (Metry-Goldwyn-Meyer) Studios.
"I don't think we're in Tokyo anymore." The young girl looked at the kaleidoscopic scene around her. The small cat in her arms mewled up at her. "And who braided my hair!?" She stared appalled at the two thick braids of raven-black hair tied off with bright baby-blue ribbons. "What the heck is going on?" She looked all around herself, taking in the dilapidated Japanese shrine that seemed to have landed haphazardly in the middle of the bizarre miniature town. The thing looked like a giant had picked it up and thrown it to the ground, the way the earth beneath it crumbled around the foundation.
"Oh, my God! We hit somebody!" She shrieked, looking down at the two lifeless legs sticking out from under. Back away slowly, no one will ever know...
"You killed her!"
She flung around in shock, "What? No! Huh, I don't know what you're talking about!"
"You killed her, you killed her!" Little children ran out from the shadows, huge grins set on their cherub faces. "You killed her!" they started dancing in circles around her, holding hands and laughing in little angelic voices.
I crash landed in a town of sadistic children... She could feel the vein pulsing at her temple. Her cat continued to lick at her fur as the children's chorus grew louder.
Then, just to add dramatic effect, a large glowing orb of pink light descended out of the sky.
You've got to be kidding, "Oh, my GOD!" The children stopped dancing and looked up at the pink phenomenon, creepy smiles still hanging on their fiendish little faces. As it grew closer to the ground the children began walking towards it. Some even skipped. Dwarfed psychopaths. She began walking against the current of the children. Maybe if I just go back into the shrine, sit down for a little while, say a prayer or two...
"Wait!" A kind, loving, motherly voice called after her.
Don't turn around; don't turn around, "Yes?" She pivoted at look for who had called her.
"Hello," said a tall woman dressed in rather large pink dress with billowing lace sleeves. A tall silver crown sat atop her head and she waved a large stick in front of her to get the kids moving. "Hello," She repeated as she drew close, shooing away the children with her stick, which at this proximity could now be seen to have a large star placed at one end. "I'm Midoriko, The Good Miko of the North."
"Um, hi. I'm Kagome."
"Good, good." The pink miko nodded each time she said the word, almost causing her engorged crown to tumble off her head. "Tell me, dear. Did you kill her?" gesturing with her stick, she pointed back at the shrine, and the two motionless legs under it.
Kagome turned nonchalantly to where she pointed. "Hmm, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Those legs." She waved her stick for emphasis. "Right there, under that thing. You don't see them?"
Okay, if I take her stick and beat her with it, maybe I can make a run... "I still don't know what you're talking about." Kagome repeated, still perfectly calm.
"Well, she's dead. The technicalities don't really matter, I guess. She's stone cold and that's wonderful."
Another sadist?
Suddenly the children began to scream.
Midoriko and Kagome turned to where the children looked. A large column of green smoke surged, and a figure could be seen through the smog.
"Midoriko!" It shrieked.
"Ugh, it's the clay pot." The miko groaned. "What is it Kikyo?" She called.
"Where is my sister?" The figure walked out of the smog.
"Under that." She pointed toward the shrine, little sprinkles of glitter falling off her stick.
"Can you stop flinging that thing around? You're gonna poke someone's eye out!" Kagome snapped, grabbing at the glittery thing.
"It's a wand!" Midoriko huffed.
"Whatever."
By now the other woman, Kikyo, had joined them. "She's under what, exactly?" She asked. If her green face could look heated, Kagome guessed that was it.
"That." The miko began to raise her wand as Kagome narrowed her eyes. Her lip pouted as she put the wand in her other hand and pointed to the shrine with her index finger.
"Kaede!" Kikyo shrieked at the shrine, her dark green face paling to a sick-hued olive. Kagome wrinkled her nose. "What happened!?"
"She did it." Midoriko blabbered out, pointed to Kagome.
"Gee, thanks." Kagome muttered, shifting her cat's weight in her arms.
Kikyo glared at her. "Why I'll, wait," She turned back to the pouting pink debutante. "What about the slippers?"
"Slippers? What slippers?" Kagome asked, turning her head back and for between the miko and Green Face.
"Those slippers." answered Midoriko, pointing at Kagome's feet.
As she began to look she thought, Does she have to point at everyth- "What the-" Kikyo and Kagome said in unison, taking in the glittering red slippers on her feet.
"My sister's shoes?" Kikyo shrieked.
"What are they doing on my feet?" She looked up at the smiling pink miko.
"Magic." She answered in a mysterious voice, waving her wand in the air a bit.
"She had terrible taste in shoes." Kagome thought out loud.
Midoriko shrugged. "Well, she was half-blind."
"I love those shoes!" Kikyo yelled, green spittle flying from her mouth.
"These look like something a stripper would wear!"
The surrounding children continued to look on, expressions of awe lining their faces.
"Give me the shoes!" Kikyo commanded.
Kagome stared incredulously at the woman. "Look, lady, I just want to get home."
"Wonderful!" Midoriko chirped, pushing past Kikyo to place her arm around Kagome. "All you have to do is go to the Emerald City and see the Yokai of Oz." The miko and the girl began walking off, leaving Kikyo, mouth agape, looking after them.
"So first all you have to do is..."
'Hey! What about my shoes?" Kikyo called after them. They both looked back at her over their shoulders.
"What about them?" Midoriko asked.
"I want them. Now!"
The miko's head cocked. "Then whatever will poor Kagome wear on her way to see the Yokai?"
"What the heck do I care? Give me the shoes."
"You know, she has got a point about the shoes. Mine seem to have disa-" Just then Kikyo flipped her off her feet. "Hey! Let go of my feet!" Kagome yelled from off the floor. The green faced woman kneeled next to her, attempting to yank off the shoes.
"Give me the shoes!" If only to emphasize her words, a solid kick from Kagome's foot bashed into her jaw, sending her sprawling.
"I don't think she's giving you the shoes." commented Midoriko, patting her wand against her shoulder.
"The heck I am!" accented Kagome.
Kikyo stood to her feet, green rage etched on her face. "Fine then, but just you wait, girl. I'm going to get you! You and your little dog too!"
"It's a cat!" Kagome yelled, holding out a sleepy-eyed animal in front of her.
"Your cat then!" Kikyo screamed back before bursting into green smoke.
The smog sent the both of them, as well as a few of the children, into coughing fits.
"I wish she wouldn't do that," said Midoriko after the smoke had cleared. "She knows about my asthma issues."
Kagome stared skeptically. Really? Asthma?
"Now where were we?" The miko paused.
"Who the hay was that?!"
Midoriko look at Kagome as if she had only barely heard. "Hmm? Oh, that was Kikyo."
"Yeah, yeah I got that."
The miko cocked her brows. "Then why did you ask?"
Kagome let out a long sigh, letting her head fall with the breath. "I meant, who is she?" she said, keeping her head lowered.
"Oh, well she's The Wicked Miko of the West.
Figures...
"Now we're gonna need to get you home..."
Kagome rose up. "Excellent. What do I do? Are you going to use magic?" She looked up appreciatively at the miko's wand.
"Of course not, silly." Midoriko laughed.
Of course not, silly, she repeated in her head, letting the words ring out with all the disappointment and self-pity she could muster.
"Now all you have to do is follow the yellow brick road." She said the words in a sing-song tone of voice.
"Follow the yellow-brick-what?" She spat, suddenly feeling exhausted.
"Follow the yellow brick road!" Midoriko carefully repeated. "Follow the yellow brick road!"
"Okay, Okay I'll-" She turned to find the children beginning to dance.
Oh, no...
"Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road." They all chorused in perfect harmony, dancing in synchronization.
"You!" She turned back to the smiling miko, using her wand to orchestrate the show tune. "You planned this."
"No I didn't." She laughed, continuing to whirl her wand around as she danced with the children.
"Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road." They repeated over, and over, and over, and over, and over....
Kagome wandered out of the miniaturized town muttering crude things about sadistic children and scatter-brained pink fairies.