7/14
“What the parents don’t know won’t hurt them.” That’s the main quote of a lot of teenagers, me included. The philosophy fits pretty well when you’re talking to someone you know your parents won’t approve of. That’s my situation. My parents don’t approve of me talking to this boy I talk to because he’s two years and a couple months older than me. He just turned eighteen two months ago or so. He may be older than me, and mature in ways that I could only describe from observation and not actual feeling, but he will always remain the sweetest, most honest, and realest guy I’ve ever met and I must say, I truly love him.
I know you’re all thinking, “You’re only fifteen, you can’t be in love!” Well you couldn’t be more wrong. If you felt what I’m feeling right now, you wouldn’t be saying, or even thinking that. It may not be the same type of love that grown folks feel, but I aiin’t grown yet, you can’t expect me to love like a grown woman when I’m not one yet. But in my opinion, teenage love for a teenager is just as strong as grown folks love for a grown person.
I’ll try to explain how I feel… it’s kinda hard though, where do I even begin with this…?
What I feel for him is the strongest thing I’ve ever felt in my young life. People think hate is a strong emotion? Please, try love. The feeling is so strong that it scares me sometimes because the question isn’t “What will I do for him?” The question is really, “What will I not do for him?” And that’s not a very long list.
Even though there are things about him that drive me absolutely crazy, I wouldn’t change him for the world, and that’s a fact, because even the most subtle of changes would make him less than what he is, and I would never want to make him less than he is…
Before I get ahead of myself, let me start with the basics; I’m Kagome Tenshi Higurashi, KT for short. I’m almost sixteen, mixed with American and Japanese, with ocean blue eyes, pale skin, long black hair, and a bright smile. I love to read and write, making English my favorite subject, hate math and science with a passion, and love to sing, and I’m good at it.
I sincerely hope that this will last…
I closed the diary with a snap and stuck it in my pocket. I remember when I wrote that… It was so many years ago, but I was not so different than I am now.
I was fifteen, as I’d stated, almost sixteen, and it was on a night I couldn’t forget even if I’d tried. I was brash, reckless, and downright foolish. But also determined, loyal, and the most caring person you could ever meet… I’d snuck to go see the boy in question multiple times by that point, and he’d actually come to see me a couple days after for my birthday. July 17th. I remember being kind of disappointed that I’d missed his birthday, May 7th, and made sure to be there for his next birthday. I’m actually surprised we never got caught. That was more than enough proof for the both of us that Fate itself wanted us to be together… although he never said it like that, with his damned pride and all. And then when I was seventeen, about to graduate, and at the brink of telling my parents everything about me and him that we’d been hiding for years when things went horribly wrong… so wrong that they seemed almost irreversible… but then again, I guess they were irreversible, but not as bad as I’d thought. And yet still bad enough…
Random question…
When you hear the term “Star Crossed Lovers,” usually you think of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, right? I guess that’s an accurate and sensible thought, considering that the phrase was created to describe Romeo and Juliet’s unlucky relationship. A love not favored by the stars. But I wonder, can it be used to describe other’s relationships which seem almost as unluckily?
I believe so.
Say Romeo and Juliet was happening in this century. Then the problem would most likely be their age difference. Juliet was about fourteen in the play, and Romeo was about sixteen; two years apart. We can also throw in that they lived far apart to make up for the family dispute. And if you want to make things really dramatic, let’s say Romeo had an older brother, who was in a gang.
Is that dramatic enough for you? We’ll I went through all this before. To get to a point of peace was about as easy as getting to hell and back, and I was on the brink of giving up on everything we’d worked for just to take the easy way out more than once. But love does strange things to you, and all he’d ever have to do was hold me close and whisper that everything was going to be ok, and that I just had to hold on, and I would relax.
Life is unexpected, things can be going wonderfully and then all of a sudden your world can be turned upside down when you least would expect it…