Disclaimer: Nothing is mine but the plot. "Slept So Long" written by Jonathan Davis and performed by Jay Gordon on "Queen of the Damned" soundtrack.
Hell In Your Eyes
Lyrics
'Thoughts'
Past Events
Disclaimer: I don't lay claim to anything in this story.
Walking
Waiting
How can I do this to myself? How can I stay here and watch her like this? Every time I look at her, I have conflicting feelings. I loathe her; I want to kill her, but my beast yearns for her touch. Could this be a spell that the miko has put on this Sesshoumaru?
Alone without a care
I watched from afar as the woman of my desires played a game of tag with Rin and the kitsune kit. She seemed to be a natural at being a mother, but this was my first time ever noticing it in her. As much as I respected her for her display of strength during the final battle, I also despise her for it. After all, it's what has drawn me to her.
Hoping
And hating
Things that I can't bear
I hate how weak she's made me over these past few months, yet I enjoy the time we spend together. I even found myself pondering over the thought of whether or not I should take her to the Western Palace with me to live. After all...I am the reason she chose to stay here.
Did you think it's cool
To walk right up
To take my life
The night I found her sitting alone plays so frequently in my mind that it's often hard for me to think of anything else. It's even worse when I sleep; it's like a dream, yet a nightmare.
To think that this Sesshoumaru has touched her...like that.
And fuck it up
Well did you?
I find the miko sitting by the hot springs on the night of the new moon. She's looking up at the empty sky while deep in thought. The battle was over months ago and it's a wonder to me why she hasn't gone home yet. I know she doesn't belong here, so why stay? Inuyasha is gone and her two companions found comfort in one another. The only people she constantly sees is the kitsune kit and the old woman. I stand next to her and she smiles.
"Sesshoumaru, how are you tonight?"
"Why do you still linger on the memories you share with him miko?"
"The new moon always makes me remember him."
I nod my head and take a seat next to her. She looks at me.
"It's a wonder that you're still here Sesshoumaru-sama."
I look at her with a bored expression.
"Rin wishes to stay for a while. With most danger in this time defeated, I granted her wish."
Well did you?
Her eyes burn into mine and I see myself reflecting in them. She is so innocent, so pure and here I am, thinking of ways to corrupt or kill her.
I see hell in your eyes
"Why did you give him to the dead miko?"
She sighs.
"Kikyou's not dead anymore. That wish...that wish brought back so many things. I don't quite understand how she and I can both be living now, but it makes me wonder if we ever actually did share the same soul. Besides, he's happy with her, so I'm happy for him."
Taken in by surprise (surprise)
I flip my hair over my shoulder and turn away from her.
"Humans."
She giggles and I raise an eyebrow at her in question.
"Care to share miko?"
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
"I see so much more to you than other people do Fluffy. I wish things were different between us."
I feel a twinge of desire and disgust at her words. Different? She wants to stay with me?
"Miko, cease in calling me Fluffy. This Sesshoumaru will not stand for it."
Walking, Waiting
Alone without a care
"Or you'll do what? Kill me? Oh please don't great Sesshoumaru-sama. Please forgive this lowly human for insulting you."
She giggles and I feel a twitching of my lips. This woman was actually about to make me either laugh or smile. I do not approve of either. Just when I'm about to reprimand her for her disrespect, she sighs and lays her head on my shoulder. My beast is on edge.
"I'm glad I could restore this for you."
Hoping
And hating
Her eyes hold such a truth to them that I'm lured in. Placing my lips over hers, she neither gasps nor pushes me away. She merely pulls me into the kiss. Apparently, she's been waiting and wanting this. Part of me has too.
Things that I can't bear
Anyone or thing within a fifty mile radius could hear that this Sesshoumaru was surely pleased. As the red in my eyes faded, I notice that I left a mark on Kagome's neck. Pulling myself from her sweaty body and slick passage, I sit up. What had I done? What had my beast done?
Did you think it's cool
To walk right up
Her scent is all over me. My scent is all over her. Whoever came across her would undoubtedly recognize her as my mate; the Lady of the Western Lands.
To take my life
And fuck it up
She sits up and wraps her arms around me from behind. She didn't even know that by Youkai law, we are mates. I get up to dress and she looks after me.
Well did you?
"Sesshoumaru, where are you going?"
I continue to dress silently. She hangs her head.
"You're leaving me too...aren't you?"
I hate you!
"Of course human. Whatever spell you have put over this Sesshoumaru has now faded and I must take my leave. If you had not earned my respect for your power long ago, I would have killed you for your treachery."
I see hell in your eyes
Taken in by surprise
I come out of my daydreaming to find Kagome sitting next to me under the tree I was watching her play with the children from. I was actually surprised. When had I let my guard down so much that I was unaware of my surroundings? What had she done to me?
"Sesshoumaru?"
I turn to her.
"Miko."
"You don't have to stay here you know. I know you don't like what happened between us...so why not leave?"
'Is she telling me to leave?'
"I mean, I know you hate humans, but you have Rin. Still, that's no reason to hang around here with us. Why not just up and leave? That is who you are, after all."
And touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
"You're right miko. It is who I am, but can not this Sesshoumaru change?"
I've slept so long without you
It's tearing me apart too
"I'd like to think that you could."
A light breeze plays with her tendrils as I watch her intently. We both stand.
How'd it get this far
Playing games with this old heart
"I am Youkai; you are human. Deal with it miko. Have you forgotten that our races kill each other on a daily basis?"
"But you haven't killed me? Why?"
I've killed a million petty souls
"..."
'What kid of question was that? Why would she want me to kill her?'
"I don't understand it. You killed that woman who was in love with you before, but you haven't killed me. You only push me away. Why?"
But I couldn't kill you
"What reason do I have to kill you?
"Tell me Sesshoumaru; didn't you at least feel something between us that night? I can barely sleep without you now; it's starting to take its toll on me. How do you even sleep at night?"
I've slept so long without you
"I've slept so long without you Kagome and I can continue to keep doing it."
'But do I want to?'
Her eyes start to get teary.
"But Sessh...I need you. You're the reason I stayed behind. You're the reason I gave up my real life in the future to stay in the past. I don't have anyone left besides Shippou. You can't..."
"Miko, this Sesshoumaru hates all humans, or have you forgotten that? Can you not see the Hell in my eyes? I could easily kill you to rid me of any thoughts of you. You are human and will die soon. Make the best of your life while you can."
I turn away from her and call Rin while walking off. I feel her anger rise and her tears break loose.
"Sesshoumaru! Sesshoumaru you can't deny your feelings! I love you!"
I stop in my tracks.
"Did you hear me! I said I love you!"
'She loves me.'
I see hell in your eyes
Taken in by surprise
Turning back to her, I extend my hand on my re-grown arm.
"Kagome."
She looks up at me and gasps when she sees me waiting for her to take my hand. Smiling brightly, she gathers the kit and runs up to me, effectively placing her hand in mine. She looks up at me as I wipe away her tears.
"I'd thought you'd never come around Fluffy."
I give her a rare smile as we lift into the sky, heading West.
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside
A/N: Yeah, the ending sucks for me too...maybe I'll change it.