Ten years after her return to the feudal era, Kagome finally realized: many long nights and one lonely heart did not go well together.
She had returned to the feudal era expecting to spend her life with Inuyasha, but each relationship attempt only pushed them farther apart. It didn’t matter how much love they had for each other or how hard they tried; nothing seemed to make it work. After the fourth failed attempt, she began to realize that maybe their relationship wasn't meant to be.
She had watched him pack his belongings into two large bags, his sword strapped to the outside of one. His eyes had been filled with excitement, anticipation, and a little fear as he promised to write often. She hugged him tightly in goodbye and felt the tempest of emotions swirling around them both.
"Take care of yourself," she had tearfully said before he left for Miyako.
In his letters, he wrote of all the wonders he had seen in the capital city and the never-ending calls from towns near and far in need of help with mischievous demons. Eventually, she learned that Shunran had joined him on his adventures, and they decided to start their own agency to provide aid and rid the area of any interference from pesky demons.
The years dragged on. They wrote letters back and forth, but in his last correspondence, he had been almost jumping out of the pages with excitement. Kagome read through the scrawled lines written on the parchment, his enthusiasm palpable as he shared the news that his beloved new wife, Shunran, was pregnant.
He would soon become a father.
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A few days after the arrival of the letter, Kagome and Sango washed their clothes together in the river as they always did three times a week. Kagome stared out across the river as she scrubbed her clothes on a rock. Her brows were furrowed, and she was silent, immersed in her thoughts.
After a few moments, Sango cautiously spoke up, "Why do you look sad, Kagome-chan? Is it because of Inuyasha’s letter?”
“No,” Kagome said as she rubbed the stain off one of her white kosode. But, in the face of Sango’s insistent gaze, she sighed and relented, “Maybe. I’m happy for Inuyasha and Shunran, I really am. But, while reading his news, I couldn’t help but feel… a little lonely, I suppose.”
“You haven’t considered marrying anyone since he left,” Sango pointed out gently. “Many village lads had asked for your hand, yet you refused them all.”
Then, the woman looked around to ensure their spot remained private before she leaned over to ask, “Has there been anyone who caught your eyes lately?”
Kagome vigorously rubbed a wet cloth against her clothes, her mind a jumble of emotions. After Inuyasha left, she had been bombarded by marriage proposals from men looking to settle down, but they all felt wrong. Soon enough, the village women began to gossip, and their judgement scorched her ears. At twenty-eight years old, she was considered too old for a suitable match, beyond the possibility of becoming a mother.
At night, as she lay alone on her futon in the cold, dimly lit hut, she mulled over the events of the day. As she had prepared herbal remedies for the villagers with her skilled hands and heard their stories echoing off the walls, a feeling of loneliness lingered inside her. Was it because of her lack of family? Would perhaps having a husband to come home to or children who ask about her day fill the emptiness?
But, the prospect of marriage to anyone she knew felt like a drain on her spirit. Still, sometimes her thoughts strayed to other possibilities. What about someone who could be there for companionship, and perhaps — pleasure?
An affair purely for the pleasures of the flesh, without boundaries or expectations, seemed like an exciting, though forbidden thought. She imagined the scandalous raised eyebrows and hushed words of condemnation that would follow if anyone discovered her wayward thoughts.
Yet, Kagome thought about them. She thought about them a lot.
But — how did one go about obtaining a partner for bed sports without worrying about him curbing her independence and controlling every aspect of her personal life? She knew that in the rigidly stratified world of the feudal era, a woman like herself could not simply ask around for a casual male companion with no strings attached — not unless she wanted to be ostracized, or even worse.
How, then, did one go about procuring such a partner without compromising herself?