Hanakotoba Matsuri 2023 Week 01: Beauty & Femininity
A/N - This is probably the angstiest thing I've written to date. It's based solely on the theme prompts of Kagome's Flower Festival 2023 (on Tumblr), told in four parts. Don't worry, my Queen of Fluff crown is still intact, it's just going to take us a little longer to get to the happy ending this time. And there will be fluffy one-shots using all the prompts to counter it!
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It was the beeping of the machines that woke him. Sesshoumaru groaned, attempting to sit up, frowning when he found his limbs heavy and unresponsive. He flexed his claws, trying again, and a warm voice fluttered from his left.
"Don't push yourself."
His frown deepened. He couldn't remember an accident or being sick, but he certainly wasn't accustomed to others living with him. A chair scraped across the floor, the person moving closer, and Sesshoumaru forced his eyes open, blurry shapes clouding his vision.
"Are you actually awake this time?" the voice asked, full of concern.
"Where am I?" It was more of a growl, and a straw was placed at his lips, cold water coating his raw vocal cords.
"Naosu General Hospital," the voice replied. It was female, familiar, but no face came to mind, and he blinked to get a better look. "There was…you were hurt and didn't have enough youki to heal yourself, so you were brought here."
He tried to move again, looking down at his arms to find them bound to the metal bars on his bed. The buckles were covered in sutras, and he let out a low growl.
"It was necessary," the woman said, tone stern. "You've been in and out of consciousness for almost a week and kept trying to attack the nurses."
"Release me."
"Not until you've been checked over. Your youki was dangerously low, and any sudden movement will just make things worse."
His eyes clenched shut, willing himself to take deep breaths, instincts warring with the lack of control. "You think to lecture This One on what is required to return to full strength?" He expected her to argue, to reinforce the rules she'd forced upon him, but she remained quiet long enough for the thin line of patience to snap, head turning to the side.
He opened his eyes, finding the lines of the room more focused. Various machines were lined up next to his bed, some human, others of youkai origin, and Sesshoumaru pursed his lips, forced to acknowledge how dire his circumstances actually were.
The treaties between youkai and humans were numerous and tentative, with meetings held every few years to review and add new sanctions. Only a few hospitals accommodated both demon and human patients, the spots mostly taken up by hanyou, as full-youkai relied on their own abilities or ancient healers rather than technology.
How far gone had he been to require emergency care?
Tearing his eyes away from the beeping and myriad of tubes still attached to his body, he glanced at the woman sitting next to the bed. Dark hair was pulled back into a dishevelled ponytail, dark circles lining blue eyes, and he blinked again. He only knew of one person with eyes like that.
"Miko."
She visibly flinched, hands clasped tightly in her lap. "Can you see?" she asked.
"Was I not able to before?"
The miko shook her head. "Like I said, you've been out of it for a while. The first time you tried to get up, you stumbled around the room before we realized what was happening."
"What drugs have you given me?" he asked, teeth gnashing. "I cannot sense you. Or smell anything."
Her knuckles were white now, though she sighed and leaned back in her chair. "This hospital wasn't prepared for someone of your calibre to be admitted. We had to bring in a lot of the equipment from other specialists. None of the usual wards have been set up to separate you from everyone else, so dulling your senses was the only alternative."
Sesshoumaru growled again. His nerves were still frayed from waking up tied to the bed, and he wished to put his claws through something. "I am fully capable of healing on my own. Who are you to presume you know what is best for This One?"
"A friend."
Even without his senses, he could tell she was lying, and only the bonds around his wrists kept him from demanding the truth. During their few interactions in the past, he'd never known the miko to be deceptive, and it set his teeth on edge that she would keep something from him now—especially when it came to his own health.
"You should rest," she said, rising from her chair. "I'll let the nurses know you're coherent. They'll want to run some more tests."
"I will allow no one to touch me."
She paused at the door, shoulders squaring before she glared at him over her shoulder. "That's not up to you." Then she disappeared through the doorway, leaving Sesshoumaru alone with more questions than answers.
She didn't return for over an hour, his room becoming a revolving door of doctors, nurses, and lab techs, each probing his person for signs of distress. Under normal circumstances, he would've eviscerated them all, but he still found it difficult to move even with his current state of consciousness.
His youki wasn't depleted; something was keeping it from regenerating. Something more than just the seals on his wrists. And none who entered his room would tell him what it was—no matter how much he threatened their lives.
He was in the middle of explaining, in explicit detail, what he would do to the next person who tried to draw blood when the miko returned. Her hair was wet, pulled back into a braid that swung from side to side as she walked. The dark circles were still evident, though the caffeinated beverage in her hand alluded to her being more alert than before.
"That's enough," she snapped, eyes blazing. "They need to make sure you're not going to relapse, and you're going to let them."
"You have no say—"
"You're in no position to argue. If you want to get out of here, you need a clean bill of health. And for that to happen, they need to run tests. All of them," she added when he opened his mouth to argue.
Memories of her temper resurfaced, and Sesshoumaru bit his tongue. If she didn't fear him at full strength, she certainly wouldn't fear him now. He slumped against his pillows, closing his eyes in resignation, ignoring the pokes from the nurse's needle. Chair legs scraped again, and he knew the miko had returned to her place beside him.
"They're under strict instructions to destroy any samples once they've been tested if that's what you're worried about."
"They would be breaking their own laws if they did not," he muttered.
Her chuckle was forced. "You never know. Every hospital has different protocols."
"Why was I not brought to one of the youkai institutions if my situation was so precarious?"
"Because they wouldn't have let me in," she replied. "Not without your permission, anyway. And you weren't in any place to be giving them instructions."
"Why would I allow you to accompany me?" he sneered, eyes finally opening. "There is no connection between us."
"Are you so sure about that?" There was that tone again; she was hiding something, and his muted senses wouldn't allow him to delve any deeper. He was far from the person he was when they'd first met, willing to dispose of humans without a single thought, but this was the first time he'd come across her since her disappearance through the meidou.
Wasn't it?
She cleared her throat, finally breaking eye contact to gaze out the window. "They're planning on moving you to a private room if all the tests come back negative. You'll have more privacy there. Less doctor visits too."
"I would rather go home." His nose wrinkled. He sounded like a petulant child, and when she smiled, it finally reached her eyes, though it was short-lived.
"I know, but you went through a lot, and they're not ready to release you without understanding the cause behind your depleted youki." Her posture was stiff, though she'd finally released her hands. "We can't have the illustrious Taisho Sesshoumaru collapsing on the sidewalk. It would end up on the evening news."
He sniffed, trying to find a comfortable position considering he was still strapped to the bed. "I am surprised the vultures parading around as reporters have not already swarmed the hospital."
The miko shook her head. "Jaken's already taken care of that. If anyone asks you anything, he'll have their job. I think he's been taking lessons from Inuyasha."
Sesshoumaru's head snapped up. "And what would you know of that?"
"Because he told me."
"You and Jaken are on speaking terms," he said, giving her a skeptical look. The notion was unfathomable. Last time he checked, the only human the imp tolerated was Rin—and she spent most of her time finding new mountains to climb, either in Switzerland or Nepal, the snow leopard she'd mated doing nothing to discourage her wild adventures.
It seemed she'd picked up a thirst for adrenaline at a young age, five centuries doing nothing to quell her wanderlust.
"He was happy to know you'd woken up, by the way," she said, pulling him out of his reverie, foot tapping the floor. "Is there anyone else you'd like me to contact?"
He thought of Rin again but didn't want to worry her, especially when he had so little information on his condition—or how he'd ended up in the hospital in the first place. "No."
She seemed surprised at that. "Are you sure?"
"I prefer my solitude."
She snorted. "No you don't."
Sesshoumaru ignored the comment. He doubted the miko had any sinister objectives, but she hadn't been above blackmail in the past. And it wouldn't be the first time someone tried to read between the lines of his life choices and interpret his behaviour.
"You like to pretend you do," she continued, taking on a wistful tone. "And it's easier to keep yourself at a distance when it comes to your job, but you crave the closeness of a pack—especially when it comes to sleeping. Though I suppose providing shelter and warmth in your true form stops you from having to admit it out loud."
His youki was depleted but not nonexistent, internally cursing when he felt the burn of his poison at his fingertips though they remained listless. "You overstep, miko."
She flinched again but raised her chin. "Do I?" Why did she sound so certain? Her defiance had known no bounds as a teen, but now—
Sesshoumaru frowned, finally giving her his full attention. Time had passed since their last altercation, maturity reflected in the lines of her face and the curves of her body; the air of confidence was no longer used to mask insecurities, shining through concerned blue eyes.
Concern for him?
He'd been no stranger to curiosity when it came to her origins, or lack of decorum, during their hunt for the spider, but the fact remained that she remained. By his bedside, no less. The questions increased, but he bit his tongue. The more he asked, the longer she stayed, and she seemed hellbent on undermining his authority when it came to his own health.
"Why don't you want me to tell Rin you're in the hospital?" she probed.
The lights seemed to get brighter, and he was forced to close his eyes, swallowing back a wave of nausea. He couldn't be sure if it was from his current circumstances or the miko's meddling, but it agitated him nonetheless.
As this woman often did.
"What is the purpose behind these questions?" he asked, avoiding the last one.
"It's a test," she said simply.
"I have no time for your frivolous inquiries. I wish to speak to the person in charge of my discharge," he said.
She snorted again, and though the sound grated on his nerves, every time it happened, light returned to her eyes, and he was loathed to admit he preferred it that way. "What, do you have a hot date to get to? You can barely sit up, let alone walk. You have nothing but time."
His growl was cut off by someone stepping into the room—another new face, but one that held enough authority that Sesshoumaru perked up.
"And how is our resident celebrity fairing today?" The doctor grinned at him as she removed her stethoscope, placing it on his chest. He tried to move away, but the miko shot him a look of warning that had him gritting his teeth in resignation.
"Dr. Sekimen is a talented neurologist," the miko said, crossing her arms. "You need to stay on her good side if you want to leave."
When he got out of there, Sesshoumaru would enjoy reminding her just how far beneath him she was.
"No irregularities," the doctor said, pulling out a pen light and shining it in his eyes. Sesshoumaru quickly shut his eyes, unable to handle it for more than a few seconds. "Any change to the—" She tapped her temple.
"No, no change." the miko cut in. Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and looked between the two women, the question directed at the miko instead of him.
"But he's awake, at least," Dr. Sekimen said. The pain that crossed the miko's face was so visceral that Sesshoumaru's hand twitched. A cough and a forced smile quickly smothered it, but he was left with a strange urge to comfort.
"Yes. There's that," she whispered, getting to her feet.
"His new room is all setup. As soon as he eats something, we'll bring in a wheelchair and get him moved." She gave Sesshoumaru a pointed look, chuckling softly when he returned it with a glare. "Pout all you want, Mr. Taisho. Not even your advanced abilities are going to help you with this one. You need to be monitored."
"And what, pray tell, is something even This One cannot overcome?"
Dr. Sekimen looked at the miko, then wrapped her stethoscope around her neck with a sigh. "Memory loss."