Author's Note: Collaboratively written, one sentence at a time with co-authors AshMish111, Sereia13, thetroll and myself. Originally posted on AO3.
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Time to Makeup
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"You really must stop this flailing and listen," Sesshomaru said as Kagome dramatically flung herself across their couch.
"That's easy for you to say," Kagome hissed, waving a hand to their twin toddlers who were covered in her makeup, "when you were the one supposed to be keeping an eye on our sons!"
He sighed and rubbed his eyes, ready to launch into another round of 'it's not a big deal' before she interrupted him, "You'd be singing a different tune if it was your makeup they ransacked!"
"Impossible, my makeup is under lock and key."
"Maybe next time I'm alone with the kids, it won't be," she muttered, knowing full well he could hear her, and had the satisfaction of seeing the instant panic on his face.
"You wouldn't dare. My makeup cost 4 times what yours does." He knew it was the wrong thing to say when the fires of hell began burning in her eyes.
"So, you're saying I'm cheap?!" Kagome felt her ire raise and she decided it was time to pull out the big guns. "I'm calling your mother and telling her what you just said."
"No stop." He raced after her, a rainbow smudged toddler in each arm. "You know I would never say any such thing, dearest one."
"Hah!" Kagome glowered at him as she stormed off to grab her cell phone. "Like hell I'm letting this go that easily."
With a speed he hadn't used in centuries, Sesshomaru desposited the twins into their playpen and launched himself at his mate.
He rolled them across the floor, cradling her close to his body to keep her safe, and then yanked the phone from her hand, crushing it into dust as she growled in his ear, "This is so childish!"
She pushed at him, wanting him off so she could find his phone, Sesshomaru working to keep her in place beneath him, when suddenly one of their toddlers let out a huge wail.
"Now look what you've done," she huffed as he stood, but he crossed his arms and refused to cave. "The last time you tattled on me as if I were a child, my mother stayed here for a MONTH to 're-educate' me!"
"Served you right," she sniffed, "for insinuating you are better at childcare than me."
One of the twins wailed again.
Kagome shoved him aside and scooped up Takahiro, cuddling the boy to her chest as she hummed soothingly.
"Preposterous," he scoffed, picking his other son up before he could cry as well. "I have never insinuated anything of the sort."
"You said, and I quote," she glowered at her mate, "'I am well equipped to handle any situation our children may get into, even ones that you may not be prepared to handle as a human.'"" Huffing, she added, "Where were you when our children were 'getting into' my makeup?"
His eyes widened as he looked to the floor, "I got an alert on my phone that Sephora was having a—"
"You let them destroy my makeup to buy some for yourself?!"
Takahiro giggled, clapping chunky, glitter-encrusted hands together, as Kagome swung the cushion again.
"I have not been so selfish in centuries and you know it, your birthday is next month!" He glowered back.
Kagome froze mid-swing.
"My birthday?" she repeated blankly, a faint flush on her cheeks.
Sesshomaru cautiously lowered the free arm he used to protect Natsume from Kagome's cushion ire. "Yes mate, your birthday. Your 555th to be precise."
"Fiffffifffiifiifff birfffday!" Natsume repeated proudly, spraying slobber all over Sesshomaru's cheek.
Kagome shifted her weight as she admitted, "Maybe I was too harsh about the kids."
One perfectly sculpted silver eyebrow rose in response.
Kagome threw her hands up in the air. "Alright and maybe I should have thought to lock up my makeup, too—but that doesn't mean you're entirely innocent, mister!"
"You're right," he said, closing the distance between them and sliding his free hand around her hip. "In the future, I will not be so consumed by thoughts of pleasing you."
If looks could kill, Sesshomaru surmised he'd have been quite deceased then, judging by the heated look he was getting. "You think you're very funny don't you?"
"If I am not," he drawled, indicating their children with a wave of his hand, "why are they laughing?"
She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Maybe they're laughing at your face."
His brow furrowed in confusion before hastily turning towards their decorative living room mirror.
Black glitter eyeliner had been scribbled all across his face, and purple lipstick smeared over his moth and across his cheek.
His lips thinned for a moment in minor annoyance and then quirked. "Only I could pull off such a look."
"You're lucky I promised to never cut your hair again, or I'd come after you with scissors." Kagome huffed but the way he waggled his brows at her had her fighting back a laugh—he really did look ridiculous and yet he was right...somehow, he did still manage to look sexy at the same time.
She bit the inside of her cheek as he knelt in front of the twins, their giggles filling the air as they traced the haphazard lines on his face.
To her amusement and horror, they hadn't recovered all of the makeup the twins had gotten their hands on—Takahiro began drawing on his father's face with a bright glittery pink lipgloss Kagome had picked out in a particularly wild mood.
But Sesshomaru chuckled warmly, his nose scrunching up as the cold gel swiped across his skin, and Kagome relaxed with a shrug; he was buying her new stuff anyway, and they did look so very cute right now.
"Maybe we should get them their own kid-friendly makeup to play with," she mused as Takahiro and Natsume giggled their way along Sesshomaru's face with tiny claws and lipgloss.
He inclined his head and she smirked. "Good, you can buy some when you replace my phone. Good luck explaining that in the store."
He heaved a sigh but didn't offer a protest. Instead, he said, "I imagine your feelings on the matter will change when you see what it is that is that I have left for you in our bedroom..."
When Kagome saw the makeup he'd purchased for her—of a quality matching his own—her ire fell away.
Sesshomaru, however, did not get off free—she left a bright blue kiss on the middle of his forehead.