AN: For the Sesskag Smutmas event - Day 10.
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Hissing softy, Kagome slowly lowered herself into the tub of steaming water. The warm contact on chilled flesh elicited tiny bites of discomfort to race along her submerged limbs, but she soon relaxed back into a broad chest. Sesshoumaru wrapped his arm around her, lazing in the tub. Long silver hair cascaded over the side, brushing the floor. Kagome reached over her shoulder to retrieve the damp locks, allowing the mass to submerge and tickle her waist.
"Is the temperature to your liking?" lips pressed beneath her ear, lingering on a sensitive spot on her neck. "I do not wish for you to faint."
Kagome giggled and hugged his arms closer to her chest. "That was one time! You're such a worrywart. This is lovely, I promise."
Sesshoumaru hummed, plastering himself tightly against her back with all the warmth of a furnace. Pale knees drew up on either side of her legs. Kagome sighed in pleasure, melting against him. Everything lay silent save for the gentle lapping of water against the sides and their quiet breathing.
“Something has been bothering you.”
It wasn’t an accusation, though Kagome felt a pinprick of guilt despite his low, soothing tone. She bit her lip, mulling over what to say. “How’d you know?”
“I know you, foolish mate.”
Kagome smiled, stroking his arm slowly. “It’s just a bit of winter blues, don’t let it bother you. I’m not unhappy- I mean how could I be? We’re at our holiday cabin, together, and everyone back home is in good health and-”
“You miss Inuyasha.”
Kagome inhaled sharply, feeling as though a shard of ice had stabbed into her heart. Sesshoumaru continued on, brushing his lips over her nape. “Not just him, your old friends too, if I am not mistaken. Maybe even the Fuedal Era itself. You feel this way each year, why try to deny or hide it from me?”
Closing her eyes, Kagome sighed and turned her head to kiss his shoulder. “I just didn’t want to kill the mood. Besides, you’re the one who had to live through…seeing people age,” she murmured, feeling him twitch. “It’s painful to think about, even now. But it’s not a fresh wound anymore, more like a dull ache for me. Even though you’ve told me about the 500 year gap you lived through before we met again…I don’t think I’ll ever wrap my head around how you must feel. It’s incomparable-”
“Then do not compare our pain,” Sesshoumaru rumbled, squeezing her body. He nipped her ear. “We feel differently, but that does not mean my pain is greater than your own loss. Mourn them now, if you wish. It will not spoil things.”
Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Kagome twisted in his arms as much as she were able in the limited space, pressing her cheek against his broad chest and ducking her head a little. He was kind, her mate. He could be blunt, stubborn and prideful, but his quiet, fierce kindness could not be ignored.
“...Why is everything…temporary?” she asked in a thick voice.
A clawed hand brushed her cheek, thumb grazing to wipe away the invisible tears she somehow couldn’t shed at that moment.
“I was so happy to see you again,” Kagome murmured, leaning into his touch. “I lecture you sometimes about not wrapping me in cotton wool but on some level, I’m afraid of losing you too,” she confessed softly. “I’m scared you’ll be like the others…taken away one day. And I can’t control that, just like I couldn’t control the Bone Eater’s Well when it sealed shut.”
Sesshoumaru remained a silent, solid pillar of strength against her. His lashes brushed her forehead, nose dipping into dark hair, followed by the press of loving lips.
“Hn, but I will not be taken away.”
“You can’t guarantee that,” she grumbled, feeling childish.
Sesshoumaru’s voice hardened with resolve and haughtiness. “A higher power may try to fell me, but this one survived 500 years and found you again. I refuse to be killed now after enjoying a mere five years with you.”
Kagome’s chest bubbled up with an exasperated sensation, and she huffed. “Well it’s not like my fears are always reasonable or make sense! I-It’s just how I feel,” crossing her arms, she shook her head. “Sorry, I’m rambling-”
“Do not apologise. I enjoy hearing that I am so deeply ingrained into your mind that you worry for me.”
Why did he have to sound so pleased about it? Kagome sighed, finding it somewhat impossible to be annoyed with him. Sesshoumaru was just unshakable in his certainty about some things.
She quieted as he pulled her closer, kissing her cheek. She took the opportunity to touch his hair, enjoying the silky texture. “You can talk about your pain too whenever you want-”
“I know, miko,” his lips curved against her skin. “I am not currently feeling the ‘winter blues’ right now, but rain check?”
Kagome gave a faint smile. “Of course,” grasping his hand, she studied the callouses of his palm. Each line and faint, barely-there scars from battles long since past. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kagome traced them gently, wishing she’d been there. Been by his side when he’d gained each one. Instead, he’d endured centuries of the weight residing inside her chest that she could barely verbalise without blubbering.
Brushing tender lips to the inside of his wrist, Kagome trailed kisses over his palm, eventually laying claim to pale knuckles.
Sesshoumaru made a low noise, shifting behind her.
“If you’re not feeling winter blues, what are you feeling?” Kagome met his half-lidded gaze.
“I believe it is something similar to a warm hearth.”
Smiling gently, she rubbed at her cheek a little, wanting a distraction from the weight now. That heavy stone which lingered...heavier in the winter when the white snow reminded her of a certain young Hanyou’s hair. She was older now, and they’d parted from any romantic feelings when she’d been able to return to the feudal era at 18 before being snatched cruelly away again some years later. That didn’t mean she couldn’t long for her lost friend. The presents that were exchanged this time of year overseas reminded her of Shippo. Sweet little Shippo, who would’ve loved anything she’d given, from a spinning top to a knitted scarf.
Sesshoumaru slid his hand between her thighs. “Do you desire a distraction?” he uttered, reading her mood via the mating link. At times, it could be frustrating to be linked- but during others, it provided immense relief.
Kagome nodded, brows pulling together as she urged his hand to the desired spot. “Please.”
Their lips met a moment later. A hard, dizzying kiss, meant to refocus her attention on the demon at her back. They panted against each other's lips as Sesshoumaru drew away to growl;
“I want for you to forget yourself so completely you scream my name with rapture.”
“Oh come on, I don’t need to forget myself to scream i-it…h-ah-!” Kagome threw her head back, words fading into a moan as two fingers pushed in.
Her demon rained kisses down on her body as dexterous fingers pumped and curled, Kagome's moans and breathy gasps growing louder. A low groan hummed against her neck, length hard and ready against her- but he’d wait his turn. He willed the dark gossamer cloak of her lingering despair to retreat once more, to be squashed- if only for a little while- by the dominating haze of pleasure only he could provide.
When she came on his fingers and happily cried his name, Sesshoumaru grunted with satisfaction, pressing his face into her hair.
His hearth burned bright and warm in his arms. He’d continued to tend to her, especially during the bad days, ensuring that light never went out.
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End