A/N: I will warn you now, there is a suicide attempt and talks of depression. Death is present in this chapter so if you don't like those please see yourself out~ as these all serve a purpose for the plot. Now without further aldo!
Chapter 1
She found herself at the bottom of another bottle soon tossing it aside as she kicked her leg some knocking another empty bottle aside. Her memories spoke in blurs as she murmured into the cool air. Lulling her head back as she leaned against the bench staring up into the moonless sky of the night a small giggle escaped her drunken lips.
“I wish…”
Hiccup. Oh how she wished it wasn’t real. She wished for so much and yet her wishes would remain null and void.
The ringing of her cell phone rang through the otherwise quiet night caused her to sit up and haphazardly fumble for the device. With a few drunken fail swypes she managed a correct one answering the phone, “’allo? We take no or’da’s!”
The voice on the other end of the line sighed, “Kagome, how much did you drink this time no where are you?”
“Um,” she paused to look left then right, “outside?”
Another sigh, “Kagome, are you at the villa?”
“Villa,” she giggled, “no outside! It so cool here so like me so empty… The bottle empty like me…”
Her tone took on a seriousness shade.
“Kagome, don’t do anything I’ll be right there. Uh I have another bottle for you so sit tight and I’ll bring you a new one just for you.”
“Mhh O’tay I wait here!”
Kagome sat there mid muse as the phone died on her while her thoughts easily pushed her agreement to stay now long forgotten as she made her move to stand. Wobbling on her drunken legs she made a very shaky step forward then another towards the railing a few feet from her forgotten choice of seat.
Grasping the rail she looked over the edge with a giggle as the lights of the city could be seen. The lights were so pretty and yet so bright. Bright was something that set her off first. Screaming into the night air with all her might as she wailed to someone, anyone. Pain raged through her once again as the burning feeling of the alcohol ran through her veins soon soothing her for but a moment.
Taking a step back from the railing she stumbled back falling over. Barely catching herself she landed on her butt with a squeak of surprise as another giggle escaped for a moment. Her eyes caught the sight of another item that brought forth a memory that she quickly squashed down with great strength. No she had forced it to stop. She wasn’t allowed to be happy. She wasn’t allowed to see the bright and good things.
She slid on of her hands into her jacket pocket removing her object of desire at the moment. She glanced down at it and smiled flicking the small metallic pocket knife open with practiced ease. Moving the metallic edged form over her other wrist finding a new place to layer a new line and with a sickening giggle she let it slice.
A car screeched to a halt nearby followed by the sounds of the car door being slammed shut.
She giggled as her eyes watched the blood slide from her new cut before moving the blade to make another.
“Kagome,” The voice hollered out for her.
“No,” she giggled as the blade sliced into an artery vein. She watched as the blood from that cut oozed out in a faster pattern.
“Damn it all Kagome,” the voice shouted as a middle aged man ran towards her quickly wrapping a cloth around her wrist while knocking the knife from her hand. She booed him for his action against her drunken need.
Using what angered rage he had to just make her get up without harming her was already a feat on its own. Moving her to the car he shouted at the driver, “We need to move fast she did it again.”
With that he got her into the backseat as he followed her in holding a tight grip on the cloth and her wrist forcing her arm up with all hopes to get the drunken fool to the hospital in time.
Kagome only whined in protest at being pushed and pulled all around before she blacked out.
----
“Kagome…”
It was such a tenderly way of calling her name, a way she had remembered her name being called once. When was it? Why was it so hard to remember?
Groaning in pain during her moment of haze from the nearly forgotten memory she was soon wincing from the harsh bright light. Where was she? A loud beep sounded next to her signaling her answer as her eyes veered to her left to see the heart monitor beeping in tune with her heart beat. A hospital, again she woke up in a hospital.
“Mr. Higurashi you know full well that this is about all we can do for your sister. She should be better watched or placed into a care center that can keep an eye on her.”
It must have been a doctor; she could hear him from the doorway that was cracked.
“Is there no better medication for her depression?”
Her brother this time, he was so stressed. It’s not his fault really, she tried to make it easy on him by just escaping but even this wasn’t allowed it seemed fate still wouldn’t leave her alone.
“That is the best we can prescribe her, if even that isn’t helping I don’t know what to say. I’ll check with the pharmacy to see if any new anti-depressants have come to creation and have been fully tested. Until then we can keep her under watch for two days at the most.”
“Thank you doctor, I’ll make sure someone is able to stay with her after she’s released.”
“You had better, I don’t want to see her in our ward again for a suicide attempt again,” the doctor huffed walking away as the other set of footsteps made their way into the room.
Glancing at her wrapped wrist as well as the drip line in silence was how he found her. His sister unchanged for the most part since she appeared do broken outside the well house that night that set her on a rocky road. With a sigh he moved to sit in the chair next to the bed.
“Kagome,” his tone was so soft it made her flinch.
Her eyes cautiously glanced over at her little brother whom had aged so much in the last thirty years while she herself did not.
It was the very look in his eyes that made her crack, bowing her head some she mustered her voice to work, “Sota… I’m sorry…”
“I know Kags, I know,” his tone keeping the warmth he always had for his sister as his hands took her unhindered hand in his, “we will get through this like before. This time we’ll beat this depression spell you’ve fallen into once again.”
Tears brimmed at the edges for but a moment before flooding her vision as she cried out apologies. She was sorry for everything, but there was no changing it. Her world was off course it was so broken and she failed. She failed them and she failed the world.
“It’s ok Kags, this is not your fault. Just remember mom and I will always here for you.”
She gripped his hand tightly as she wailed on unable to use an ounce of words. The assault of her feeling tore through her in waves like a storm in the ocean that kept rocking the boat until it toppled from the force. She cried out her frustrations of her self and her stupidity into the air with no remorse and no words to be told why or for what she was crying to or of.
After some time she had managed to cry herself back to sleep leaving her aged brother to watch her sadly. He had much to prepare in the next two days from cleaning up a room in his place to getting his wife and daughter to watch after his sister whom he still hasn’t presented to them. He had a lot of explaining and prep work to do after all how do you explain the fact your older sister is 30 years your junior because of some unknown reason.
Getting up silently, with a soft pat on her hand he left a note for her before making his way out of the room to begin his tasks that would undoubtedly take him quite the hassle to complete, but he would do them for her.
He made a silent escape from the room leaving his sister asleep with a beeping heart monitor. He would make one last stop at the nurses station before leaving to make sure someone checks in on her regularly.
----
It must have been hours since Sota had left before she woke. Clutching the cloth they called a blanket she grimaced. Her dark thoughts her companion in this room as she sat alone with silence her communicator.
Breathe Kagome, breathe.
Taking a deep breath she held it as she slowly counted down.
5…
4…
3…
2…
She exhaled slowly before looking back to the spot at the end of the bed. A shadowed figure of her mind stood just out of sight with a familiar smile. She could just vaguely make out the smirk the figure held before it vanished piece by piece leaving her hands shaking.
She could feel it; another happy memory was being locked away from her once more. Soon there would be nothing but the terrors she saw. The years she spent were being stolen from her bit by bit from this curse. It had to be a curse what else could defeat her so badly. What could break her further then that day? What could lock all the happiness away making her feel so dead inside?
With a whimper she clenched her eyes shut willing the thoughts to stop. Willing the peace to return even if for only a moment of blissful silence and that’s when the sound rang like a church bell.
Ting
Where was it? Her eyes shot open as she glanced around the room. It sounded so close and yet so far.
An elderly lady stood to the side of her bed, a bell hanging from her nurse cap. She smiled at her with a warm heartfelt smile that felt like it could twist in a heartbeat.
“Ah child, I see ye have fallen from grace.”
“Excuse me,” Kagome remarked to the woman in surprise.
“I’ve seen a many souls in this ward, but ye happen to be so special… It took me a while to finally enter ye room sweet child.”
Confusion first held root then rage, but being a good girl raised to be kind to the elderly she bit it all back, “Can I help you ma’am?”
“Help me? Oh darling I be here to help ye.”
Help her?
Ting
“Did Sota send you?”
“No dear, ye brother did not send for me,” the elderly woman lifted an aged hand and pointed a wrinkled finger towards her heart, “they called to me this time.”
“They,” Kagome questioned in confusion, she didn’t know anyone that would know of her situation besides her family.
“Aye, the souls whom refused to pass on. They cling to ye and try to ease your pain. It has gotten to be such a hassle for the other’s to clean up that I must come to ye and grant ye a spell.”
“A spell… What are you talking about?”
“Ye will understand the spell when the time comes child, now rest. Keep to the path laid before ye as the instincts ye have will guide ye right.”
Kagome wanted to say more to the woman, but she couldn’t. Something was pulling her back into the dark world of sleep as she fought to stay awake. She needed to ask, but it wasn’t working.
Ting
The bell, it was a tool and she hadn’t realized it in time. Her fingers soon relaxed against the sheets as her form fell lax under the spell called sleep.
The elderly lady only smiled as the bell chimed once more.
Ting
The elderly lady’s form changed into that of a young girl still smiling softly at the sleeping miko who lay unaware of the female beside her. The bell split into its twin counterpart as the girl reached a hand up to removed the new bell from her hair piece. Bringing the bell to her lips she whispered to it softly.
Ting
Soon the bell disintegrated into dust flying over the miko before forming over her in a glowed hue then fading into nothing. The spell was set the future would change once more. Her task was done now for the fates to lead the way for the little miko.
Ting
With the last chime of her bell she vanished with a smirk. She was looking forward to the path the miko would walk.
For the time being Kagome would be attacked by the nightmares of her past in this fruitless sleep caused by the spell. Every ounce of fear, hate, sadness, rage, and so many other emotions would be pulled forward to further integrate the spell. The scab was ripped open to soon as the memories rush forth while she tried so hard to cover the wound to will it clogged to no avail.
----
{ : . : Flash Back Time : . :}
They had been hunting for shards endlessly and were exhausted. Both physically and mentally worn out from the travels the group put a hefty foot down for an early break for camp. The group’s hanyou of course reacted in all the typical ways of growling and barking that there wasn’t enough ground covered or any news of a jewel shard in weeks.
She had enough of his belly aching and put a stop of his endless barking with one sentence, “Inuyasha, sit!”
The resounding crash of an object colliding with the earth was a familiar sound that the group hadn’t heard in a while. It earned a giggle from the smallest member of the group.
“Inuyasha, you did it again,” Shippo cried out between giggles at the crater of a half demon before the group.
“We will be setting up camp before I make you a crater soup,” Kagome stated as she walked away from the grumbling form making her way to their ‘would be’ camp for the evening.
The taijiya followed suit after Kagome while the monk over looked the foolish hanyou. Shippo bounded after his adoptive mother eager to help her set up the camp.
“Ah Inuyasha,” the monk sighed. A grumble through the earth was his answer while the half breed slowly worked on standing up. He wasn’t pleased, but knew he lost the battle. He was a sore loser and just took off to vent his frustrations while scouting the area leaving the monk to sigh once more. It was becoming a regular thing for the monk it seemed.
The monk watched as the girls went about setting up the camp area giggling about something he didn’t know, but shrugged it off making his way in their direction to help with what he could.
Setting up the camp area was quite easy; they had even had a meal and were currently relaxing over tea. Even their ever so stubborn hanyou had made his return with a usual perch in the best tree overlooking the camp grounds. It had been a long journey.
“Lady Kagome, do share your ideas on where we should travel,” the monk had brought up.
“Why are you asking her, I’m the nose of the group,” Inuyasha shouted down at them.
“We had been following your nose all month is why,” Kagome retorted as she glanced at the map she had unfolded at some point during their meal to look over. Sliding her fingers over the familiar map she reminded her self on where they were and where they’d gone before answer as the hanyou grumbled from his tree rather subdued for a change, “Maybe we head west som—”
“No way are we heading west!” Inuyasha grumbled while jumping down from the tree, “That is one direction we will not be going near!”
“But it’s the only area we haven’t checked yet,” Kagome urged knowing full well why he was so peeved.
It was several long excruciating minutes before they got the ‘fine’ from the unwilling traveler.
“Good, we’ll head that was in the morning.”
“Sounds good,” the monk replied.
It was the calm before the storm, the evening was so peaceful and they hadn’t known what was coming.
It wasn’t too long after their peaceful talks around the fire before the group had begun making their ways to their sleeping destinations getting some much needed rest. It had been a long day and an even longer journey. It had been years since Kagome and Inuyasha first set out to gather the shards gaining their many teammates and allies along the way.
The night being so peaceful didn’t raise any flags for the group until Kagome woke with a jolt of a familiar tug, Jewel Shards.
Sitting up she focused on the shards and direction. It was seconds before she was torn from her focus to the sound of Inuyasha shouting at something and the attack of his trusty blade swinging into the darkness at something.
Shortly the rest of the group woke; Shippo clung to her pajama top with tired eyes. The sound of the taijiya’s scream of pain was answered with the monk’s shout, “Sango!”
Quickly rising to her feet Kagome gathered her bow and arrows as Shippo climbed up to her shoulder peering around with his better sight. He caught sight of a tentacle pulling an injured Sango into the air as she yelped in pain from the crushing blow. Quickly directing Kagome’s attention to their poor friend in captive she notched an arrow aiming it towards the tentacle letting it fly only to see the arrow reflected by something unseen.
Gritting her teeth she notched another arrow charging it with her reiki before letting it fly once more this time watching it collide with the tentacle purifying the piece of flesh as the taijiya falls on to the awaiting fire cat.
With a small sigh of relief, Kagome glanced around not finding Inuyasha in the vicinity any longer. Where did he go?
A chuckle filtered through the area, her senses went ridged. She knew that voice, they all did.
“Naraku,” the monk stated venomously while looking around for the foul half demon.
Once on the ground Sango quickly grasped her weapon ready for this night battle.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk, don’t you know it’s rude to not show respect,” the familiar voice stated to the group from the shadows.
“Show yourself coward,” Sango shouted. She was ready for him, but what came out of the shadows she was not ready for. She would never be ready to face her little brother, never.
The young taijiya ran towards his sister following the commands of the one who pulls his strings. Leaping at her for an attack as she blocked her brother’s attack, her mind having a melt down as her instincts kept her on the defense. She couldn’t kill him, but she wouldn’t die tonight by her brother’s hand.
Miroku tried to move towards Sango to aid her but a wall of wind stopped him. Shortly after the wind wall went up another blast of wind flung the monk away from the group. A smirk plastered on the wind witch as she sat safely on her feather above the group. She went about her task of keeping the monk busy.
At a loss of what to do with her friends scattered with their own battles, she didn’t sense nor hear the spider approach her until something warm coated her shoulder. Turning her head, she had been expecting to find an embarrassed Shippo, who might have gotten a little too afraid only to see a clawed hand ripped fully through her kit. The kit didn’t even have a chance to make a sound much less a movement with how his heart had been plunged from the little form.
Following the arm with her eyes she slowly began to feel a sense of dread fill her at how close Naraku had been to her. Eyes wide as she spun fleeing backwards away from him, the form of her kit remained wrapped snug around his wrist.
“Tsk, little miko, you were suppose to scream and fall over. We can’t have you running away you’re a major part of this plan and I hate when my plans go wrong.”
The scream failed to trigger, the adrenaline in her system was pumping from the shock of fear. She barely had the time to register her loss before the sound of two other shouts of anguish. Why she looked she didn’t know, she would come to regret that human curiosity as her eyes took in the sight of Miroku’s wind tunnel going haywire. It was sucking in everything that was within the wind dome he was trapped in. The poison from the saimyosho was doing more damage then they were worth to him.
She watched as the tunnel began to take even more in, but Kagura wasn’t going to let that go. She had made quick work of the monk during his moment of distraction of life and death to riddle him with scars of wind until the monk lay in pieces.
“Miroku,” Kagome shouted. She just watched a man she thought of as her brother become butchered meat.
Her shout had only served to distract her taijiya of a sister as the girl glanced in her direction. That distraction would be her downfall as her brother knocked the only weapon that could block well from her hands.
Sango shouted in outrage as she tried to draw another weapon to block, but she wasn’t fast enough the blades her brother had were quick and deadly. One thrust deep within her heart as the other slit her throat clean. The trapped soul of her brother could only watch in horror as his body did as he was ordered unable to break free.
Sango starred at the form of her brother reaching a hand up through a few tears not blaming him, but knowing it was all that had to come to pass. Fate was a fickle one it seemed.
Her friends were all falling, the shock was doing a number on her while her instincts and senses were tosses aside. Naraku smirked at the results; everything was going according to plan thus far.
Inuyasha, where was he? Her mind numb as she tried to find the hanyou she’d come to treasure so dearly. She needed to find him. She needed to wake from this nightmare.
Nightmare it had to be, it just had to be a nightmare that was only getting worse as the corpse of Inuyasha was dropped in front of her by a rather impassive Byakuya. He did his task of luring the hanyou away with his illusions and killing him during the dream, but it had been a slight struggle before he had completed his task.
Kagome fell to her knees shattered. Naraku walked up behind her giving Byakuya a quick glance, “Give her a ‘good’ dream.”
It was going to be a dream far from a ‘good’ one as the moth demon spun his dream for the broken miko. It was a horrid dream, a very damaging horrid dream.
She was plagued with so many ways her family, friends, companions, and allies were all stripped of their life. She couldn’t tell what was real from fake. She watched as those she trusted turned on her. They corrupted her vision of them as they broke her down.
These dreams she was stuck within had continued for days before her soul cracked. A part of her broke a seal came undone as she sat within the room she found herself. Lulling her head to the side she could sense something was there and she giggled a deranged damaged giggle.
She slowly stood the movement drawing the attention of a certain spider demon as he watched her curiously. He was surprised she came out of the illusion, but he doubt she was fully out of it as she stalked towards him. She reached a hand towards him with a broken smile her eyes void of all life.
With a hollow cackle her power hummed within the room. His eyes narrowed at this, but his moment of letting his guard down cost him.
Answering her call the shards appeared within her hand, the shards within him shot out to form with the ones in her hand as she smiled her broken smile. Her power burst within the room spreading rather far. Her reiki purified everything before and around her even the land the castle stood upon. Naraku didn’t have the chance to react as he was rendered obsolete.
The broken girl held the complete jewel in her hand, the voices from it calling to be used while another saying to wish it away. She just frowned towards the pink orb. She didn’t know what to do with it.
Should she wish her friends back?
Should she wish for the lives of all those who had fallen victim to Naraku’s ruthless deeds back to life?
No, she should wish the jewel to never exist. It was the sole reason it was too be wished on as a selfless wish.
Tears brimmed and fell, “I wish…”
Sliding to her knees as she cried into the jewel, not even finishing her sentence or her thoughts on the wish as she clasped the orb crying in agony over her loss, her friends were gone. It hit her in waves as she took it all in. She lost them all and probably more. She wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry until she was numb, but nothing works the way you want.
Light engulfed her in a moment of panic she reached out finding wood. The light died down allowing her vision of her area only to find herself home. She was outside the well house alone. She turned towards the well only to find it useless, the magic was gone. The jewel was even gone. It was no longer within her palm.
She let out a scream as her tears fell in streams. She hadn’t saved them, she hadn’t helped them, and she hadn’t done anything. It was her fault for being so slow to notice the signs. It was her fault they were all dead in more ways than one.
Anguished, she sat on the floor of the well house in tears, stained with the blood of her kit. That is how her family found her that morning a broken mess covered in blood.
{ : . : End of Flash Back : . : }
----
Opening an eye, Kagome found she wasn’t alone once again. Sota had at some point returned with a young girl by his side. Giving a glance towards the girl for a moment before looking back at Sota, “My niece I presume?”
“Yes, this is Yuki my daughter. Yuki this is your Aunt Kagome.”
The young girl had manners; she bowed to her with a few words of greetings. It must have been odd to find out you had an aunt near your age in looks.
“Nice to meet you, Yuki,” Kagome replied softly before turning her words to Sota once again, “Is it time to check out?”
“Yeah, they said you slept well these past two days and looked like you’d be good to go.”
“Good,” she replied. She didn’t realize two days had passed. Maybe the spell would work soon. It might be of great help to her.
“Help your aunt to the car I’m going to finish the discharge paperwork,” Sota stated as he headed out leaving the two alone.
With a sigh Kagome worked on getting out of the bed as Yuki just headed to wait at the door not interested in an aunt she hadn’t ever seen. Children these days, she thought as her fingers set to changing her clothing from the hospital clothing.
It didn’t take long to get herself ready before Kagome was upon the young woman, “Please do lead the way.”
It didn’t take much for the girl to walk, Yuki clearly didn’t want to be here nor around her, but she was supportive of her father even if he spent more time then he needed to take care of ‘Aunt Kagome’ then his own family.
Kagome inwardly sighed feeling the small stir of the negative emotions pulling at her heart strings as she followed the girl to the car. She watched as Yuki slid into the passenger seat with no second guessing if it was proper or not.
Another sigh before Kagome just opened the back door sliding into the vehicle in silence. The two didn’t have to wait for long before her brother had joined them. With a smile Sota began their journey to his home where Kagome would spend the rest of her days under careful watch.
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A/N: Me and this dark stuff... I swear it's not intentional! I do love the team... It's really the plots that speak to me. Hope you guys enjoyed I'll get to the next chapter tomorrow or so. This chapter took at least 4-5 hours and I'm exhausted ( ~- A-)~