Hey guys! Here's chapter one of my new story. I will try to update as often as possible! Please review and let me know if you like it so far!
Picture credit for the cover goes to: lord . Sesshomaru of instanonymous
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA! THIS STORY IS FOR MATURE ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY!
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Kagome had endured enough. She was done. She'd put up with seven years of his attitude, and she'd finally had enough. They'd been together since the beginning of her junior year. She remembered it like it was yesterday.
…
Her mother had come to her on a Saturday morning with two cups of tea in her hands. She gave one to Kagome and sat across from her with hesitation showing on her face. Kagome sat silently, waiting for what her mother was going to say.
"I have been speaking with Mr. Taisho. You're friends with his son, Sesshomaru correct?"
Kagome nodded nervously.
"We've been discussing and we were hoping that you two would consider a relationship. We all believe it would be beneficial to all parties included. I would like to make it very clear that this is not an arranged marriage and that you can say no at any time. So can he, for that matter. All we are asking, is that you two give it a try."
Kagome stared at her mother with her mouth gaping open. She'd barely ever dated before, especially because she was friends with Sesshomaru and nearly every boy that liked her was terrified of him. She didn't mind too much, though because she had a massive crush on him, and had since they'd met. She'd shoved it aside, though, because she knew that he'd never want her that way. She'd been content to be friends with him, though watching him go out on the occasional date did make her heart blacken with jealousy.
She mulled it over in her head. She could definitely attempt to have a relationship with him, it was Sesshomaru that would be the problem. She was certain he'd never want her, and that he'd never consent to a mating with her. She wouldn't consign herself to a life of misery in an empty marriage or mating. She just couldn't. She'd have to play it by ear, and ask him how he felt about it.
That afternoon, Sesshomaru had come over to study, as planned. They usually spent every Saturday studying together, but that day was different. She'd seen the stress in his shoulders and that he was hiding a scowl. She'd noticed the nervous way he'd moved his eyes, it wasn't fluid like normal. She'd waved him up to her bedroom and the moment she'd closed the door, she turned on him.
"Listen, Sesshomaru. My mom talked to me and I just want you to know, you do not have to do this. If you want to see where this goes, we can go on a date. If you want to draw the line in the sand, we can just pretend this never happened. It's up to you."
He glanced at her momentarily, and she saw the indecision in his gaze.
"Kagome, what do you want to do?" His voice was strangled and she could tell he was battling with himself.
She sighed, "I would like to try. See where it goes. Maybe it would work out."
She watched as some of his intensity melted and he visibly relaxed. He nodded once.
"We can give it a try, but I would like to continue our friendship if this doesn't work out."
Kagome laughed internally, no way in hell would that work out. She knew him well enough to know he'd be awkward and she knew herself enough to know that she would be too heartbroken to continue being friends with him. She nodded anyway, knowing that he wouldn't agree to it unless she put his mind at ease.
…
Seven years later, and she was finally seeing how big of a mistake they'd made. He'd done well as a boyfriend through the rest of high school. Somehow, though, they always ran into trouble. He'd find her talking to a boy about notes for a test and he'd become cold and scare the kid off. After which he'd give her the silent treatment for a few days before resuming life as if nothing had ever happened. Things like that happened often. He'd take her out on pre-planned dates and he didn't kiss her until the end of their senior year.
At the time, Kagome hadn't thought it was odd, she'd just thought he was taking it slow. Throughout college, though, she realized that he only interacted with her physically, when the situation demanded it. Their physical relationship followed a timeline. He'd give her a quick, chaste kiss after a date, and after nearly four years of dating, she'd finally given him her virginity. She'd been wanting to give herself to him for years, but he always kept a barrier between them and only took her out at scheduled times.
She pondered over the night she lost her virginity, with fresh eyes. He'd invited her over for dinner and once the meal was done, he had told her that she should stay the night. She'd thought, at the time, that he was being spontaneous, but looking back at it, she realized that it was too calculated. He'd said something along the lines of 'it's time'. As if he'd been waiting a certain amount of time before it was appropriate for them to have sex. The entire thing was premeditated and she remembered it, now, with sadness.
After they graduated college, Kagome moved out of the shrine and into her apartment. She'd been sure that upon graduation, they'd move in together. To her surprise, Sesshomaru had made it clear that he'd be helping her move into her own place. She didn't bring up the topic of moving in together, she figured it would take him time to get used to the idea. Kagome noticed in the two years after graduating, that Sesshomaru became even more distant and cold, though she'd never thought it was possible.
She'd been spending the past two years working for Toga, Sesshomaru's father and on her time off, she'd been developing a business plan. Two weeks ago, she'd prepared her business plan and showed it to Toga and he'd nearly howled in delight at her determination. Her idea was for a consulting firm that could work side by side with Taisho inc. and advise clients on where to invest their money. Taisho inc. was a multibillion-dollar corporation that could help her achieve her dreams of running her own company. Toga had agreed to her terms and had been helping her to work out the kinks and make her dream a reality.
When she'd met Sesshomaru after work to tell him about it all, he'd gone into a rage. He'd been furious that she hadn't discussed it with him and he'd told her that she wouldn't be running a company once they mated and had pups. She'd been filled with rage over the idea that Sesshomaru wanted her to be a stay at home mom and not pursue her dreams. She was barely twenty-four, she had plenty of time to get her company off the ground before they had pups. Once they did, she could take time off work before returning, or finding someone to share her work load. He'd become sullen and withdrawn from her and ignored her for days. She absolutely couldn't believe that he wouldn't support her in her dreams.
That brought her to today. She was in her family home, where she was sitting on the floor flipping through old photo albums. She had hundreds of photos from the last seven years of her life, but only ten or so of them had her with Sesshomaru. She flipped through the album in search of one photo, just one, that showed her and Sesshomaru happy together. The only one she found was of them sitting near the sacred tree with books in their laps, nodding off to sleep. A small smile was nestled in the corners of his mouth and she was curled up against his side, sleeping blissfully. This photo was taken a few months before they'd decided to date, and she couldn't help but feel that the photo cemented her feelings.
She loved him deeply, but she knew now, that they were never meant to be more then friends. She wanted a life. She wanted to create her dream business, find a man who loved her, and have children. She wondered if it was selfish of her to want things that he obviously couldn't give her. They'd been together seven years, and he'd never mentioned anything about when they would mate. They'd only ever had sex in one position and he'd never cuddled her or held her hand in public. She wanted a normal life, filled with love, and she knew that she couldn't get it from him.
Feeling pure resolve harden her spine, she collected herself and stood, wiping a stray tear from her face. She went down stairs and kissed her mother goodbye before heading out of the shrine and to the car. Once she was in the car, she pulled out into traffic and dialed Sesshomaru's number. He didn't pick up, but she left him a message.
"Hey, this is Kagome. I'm coming to your office. Whenever you get out of your meeting, I'd like to talk."
She hung up without saying goodbye when she felt her throat tightening and heat well up behind her eyes. She steeled herself, forcing the tears back down. She would not cry before she went to him, he would know, and she'd lose her bravery. Kagome tore through town, praying she got there before he called her back. Hearing his voice might just tip her over the edge. She pulled into her parking spot and got out of her car.
As she rode the elevator up, she forced her body to exude calmness. She fought her muscles to keep from fidgeting and she schooled her face into a mask of indifference, just as he would do. As she arrived at his floor, she walked out of the elevator with every ounce of confidence she could muster. She thanked all the gods that she'd worn her heels today, it gave her an extra boost of confidence.
As she neared his assistant's desk, she spotted Kagura scrolling idly through her email. As Kagura noticed her approach, Kagome sent her the most heartfelt smile she could conjure. Kagura smiled back, but the assistant could tell something was wrong. Her demon senses were telling her that Kagome was nervous and she could smell a bit of sadness coming off of her. Kagome approached the desk and raised a brow.
"Is he in a meeting still?"
Before Kagura could answer, the doors to his office swung open and two demons that looked like they'd been thoroughly harassed, fled out and nearly sprinted to the doors. Sesshomaru walked out as well and raised a brow at her, mask still in place.
"Not anymore."
He motioned for her to follow, and while she did, she let her eyes peruse over him one last time. He was the most gorgeous man, demon or human, that she'd ever seen in her life. He was at least six three with long, flowing, beautiful silver hair that was currently knotted on top of his head. Kagome stiffened at the sight, he only put it up when he was in a very bad mood. She let her eyes wander over his muscled framed that was adorned in Armani. His broad shoulders and perfect glutes called to her, but she tried to shake it off. She saw the sharp edge of his masculine jaw, and she wanted to run her tongue across it. Realizing where her thoughts were straying, she shook them from her head and pinned her gaze to his desk.
He sat down behind his desk and motioned for her to sit as well. She ignored the command and stood in front of him. His eyes narrowed slightly at her blatant disregard of an order. She ignored him still, and finally raised her eyes to his. He nearly flinched at the emotions swirling in her eyes. Her intensity was threatening to overwhelm him and he wondered what on earth had brought her to this level of emotion.
She cleared her throat and pinned him with her gaze, "I know you're busy, so I'll just get to the point. I'm breaking up with you. We want different things, and I don't believe we are compatible any longer. A demon of your caliber should be with someone that deserves you, a demoness like you. You would have left, eventually anyway, so now is as good a time as ever."
She went silent to assess his reaction and to pull herself together. She'd heard her own voice crack during that last sentence, and she knew she could only keep it together for maybe another minute.
"This is what you want?"
Kagome almost broke under the question. No, she didn't want to leave him. She wanted him to love her, but now she knew that was impossible. As she stared him down, she saw that he still let no emotion show on his face. Her sadness was consumed in her anger and she took a threatening step toward Sesshomaru, her aura swirling with her anger.
"What I want, Sesshomaru is to be with someone who loves me. I want to be with someone who supports me and my dreams and doesn't just see me as a house wife! What I want is someone who wants to have children with me because we're in love, not just to bear the heir and carry on the damn line! That's what I want!"
She growled the last bit out loudly and she knew that Kagura had heard her. She saw as Sesshomaru sat there with a blank face, but wide eyes.
"You have never told me that."
She exhaled aggressively, "I shouldn't have to! It doesn't matter anyway, you should want to. Obviously, you don't love me, you don't want a family with me and you don't want to mate me. You just… you don't want me. So, we're done. Don't worry about breaking it to your father. I will do it."
With that she stormed out and slammed his door. She walked to the elevator with poise, but the minute the doors closed behind her, she broke into sobs.
Sesshomaru sat at his desk while unfamiliar emotions rolled through him. She'd left him. She'd said that he didn't want her. She was wrong, of course. He did want her, but he just assumed that the little human didn't want to be intimate with him, or that if he'd tried, he'd hurt her. He mulled over his thoughts and tried to pinpoint where it all went wrong.
After college, Sesshomaru had noticed that Kagome was paying more attention to her work and business plan than she was to him. He'd assumed that she'd grown tired of him and he began to distance himself, pulling away from her in an effort to keep himself safe. He cared about her, obviously, or he wouldn't have stayed with her. Their relationship had been easy. He'd never had to try and he'd always have a date when he needed one. He'd noticed she'd liked physical contact with him while they were out in public, but he'd shied away from it. He didn't want anyone to think that he either couldn't control his woman, or that he was whipped.
To be honest, he had not seen this coming. Even if he had, he wouldn't have bet he'd feel the way he did now. His chest felt like it was filled with lead and his heart was throbbing painfully in his chest. He felt completely and utterly alone. He tried to shake the feeling off. She was just a woman. A human woman, at that. He couldn't help but feel that she'd ripped out his heart and walked off with it.
He considered getting back to work, but as he flipped open his laptop, searing pain shot through his heart. He sighed and slammed it closed again and gathered his things. Hanging his suit jacket over his shoulder he strode to his assistant's desk.
"I'm leaving for the day. Reschedule my appointments. I will be back in on Monday."
She tried not to let her mouth drop open, Sesshomaru never left before the day was over and he never rescheduled meetings. She watched as he left and got into an elevator. The moment he was out of sight, Kagura snatched up her phone and dialed Kagome's best friend, Sango. She answered almost immediately.
"Oh my gods, you'll never guess what just happened!"
She heard Sango chuckle through the line, "What, what just happened?"
Kagura nearly hissed into the phone, trying to keep it from nosey listeners in the office, "Kagome just broke up with Sesshomaru!"
She heard Sango inhale through the phone, "Oh my god. Are you serious? I have to call her right now!"
Kagura heard the line click dead and she went to snoop through their face book pages, wondering if they'd already changed their status'.
......
Kagome was curled up in a ball on her bed in her apartment sobbing into a tub of ice cream while bad romance movies played on daytime television. She felt her heart shatter over and over again as she remembered the way he looked at her. He hadn't felt anything when she'd left, and he hadn't tried to stop her.
She broke into more heart wrenching sobs until she heard a knock at the door. Her heart stuttered in her chest until she heard Sango yelling through the door.
"Kagome it's me! Let me in right now!"
Kagome got up to let her in, knowing full well that Sango would literally break the door down if Kagome didn't allow her entry.
The door swung open and Sango took in Kagome's appearance. She was wearing baggy sweat pants and her eyes were puffy and red. Her lips were chapped and there was melted ice cream on the side of her face. Dried trails of tears were still crusted on her cheeks and Sango's heart broke at the sight of her best friend.
She pushed into the apartment and hauled her friend into her arms. She walked them to the couch and Sango saw that her pity party was in full swing. She collapsed onto the couch with Kagome in her arms and Kagome started to sob uncontrollably. Knowing that no words would soothe this ache, Sango just caressed her head and let her weep. After a while, Kagome passed out in her lap and Sango relaxed into the couch and waited for her boyfriend, Miroku, to show up with reinforcements.
Half an hour later, there was a knock on the door and Sango gently rearranged Kagome and went to get it. Miroku stood outside the door with a charming smile on his face, two pizza boxes in one hand, and ice cream and soda in the other. She noticed that his pocket was bulging and she eyed him warily. He waggled his eye brows at her before chuckling.
"It's vodka. I thought that maybe Kagome would want to drown her sorrows."
Sango grimaced, "Yeah that's a great idea. Kagome always cries when she's drunk, lets add gasoline to the bonfire, shall we?"
Her voice was laced with sarcasm as she showed Miroku in. The moment he was in the living room, Kagome sat up and her eyes swiveled to the pizza boxes.
He laughed heartily, "You're a blood hound, Kagome."
She scowled at him, "I'm eating my feelings tonight. So, hand it over."
He chuckled and handed her the pizza before pulling out the bottle of vodka. Kagome eyed it with a look that almost resembled happiness, but not quite.
"Oooh, apparently I'll be drinking my feelings tonight too."
Sango groaned just as Miroku chuckled.
A few hours later, everyone was thoroughly drunk and happily scarfing down pizza. Kagome was still depressed, but she had actually laughed at one of Miroku's jokes. Just as she was showing signs of improvement, her phone pinged with an update. Drunkenly, not thinking of the consequences, she picked it up and checked it.
There on her phone was Sesshomaru's face book update. It said that he was single. She cursed her idiocy, why hadn't she turned off his automatic notifications? It pinged her every time he updated his profile or his status.
Her eyes widened as she saw the update and tears sprung to her eyes. She dropped her phone and the screen shattered upon impact with the floor. It went unnoticed by Kagome as she devolved into heart wrenching sobs. It was really over. They were really done.