Author's Note: [originally posted 04.18.15] If you imagine Sesshoumaru as a big puppy (literally and figuratively), wondrous things will happen, and by wondrous, I mean you'll laugh yourself silly. This is me laughing at my own dumb jokes.
This also may or may not be set in the same story!verse as 'A Bone to Pick' in which Sesshoumaru's a grumpy but docile old dog in an established relationship with Kagome, his owner, er, girlfriend. I have a troubling sense of humor.
"You've gotten softer, more docile, lazy."
Sesshoumaru let a soft hum escape, barely aware of his girlfriend's complaints. He was far too comfortable resting his head on Kagome's lap while she idly scratched his ears to give full notice to her almost subtle insult. Exasperated with the lack of response, Kagome stopped scratching Sesshoumaru's ears, catching his attention immediately.
"Are you listening to me?"
"Yes," he said, frowning and not too happy that she stopped with the scratching.
"You used to have a goal, a hobby—granted, it was trying to kill your brother over a dumb sword—but you had a drive in life. Now all you do is lie around and sleep."
"I go to work, I make money, and I keep a roof over your head."
"Hey! I pay the food and utility bills, so don't act like this is not a 50-50 relationship."
"I did not imply that at all, but you, my dear, implied that all I do is sleep like a bum."
Kagome frowned, not pleased with how he was always making more eloquent arguments to counteract the point she was trying to make. Picking up his head, she scooted over and proceeded to let it drop on the couch without warning. He sat up groaning and scowling.
"What I'm trying to say is, you don't do anything anymore. I heard from your mother that after the battle with Naraku, all you did was stare off cliffs."
Sesshoumaru scowled again. "You're talking with my mother?"
"We have lunch every Thursday to discuss your troubling lack of social skills."
Sesshoumaru continued to scowl.
"Ugh, sometimes you can be such a—such a…"
"Don't burn, don't burn, don't burn," Kagome pleaded as she stirred the chocolate bars she was melting over a double boiler. She smiled in satisfaction at the sight of dark, silky chocolate drizzling off her rubber spatula. "Perfect."
She let the bowl of melted chocolate cool slightly on the counter while she rummaged through her cupboards to retrieve other items necessary for making the perfect fudge brownies. She had managed to retrieve everything needed except for the baking pan she left on the highest shelf.
"Shoot," she whined, not wanting to grab a stool.
As if he sensed her frustration, Sesshoumaru appeared in the kitchen and lifted her up on his shoulders, barely noticing her surprised squeak. She smiled in satisfaction and gratitude once she retrieved the pan.
"What are you making?" Sesshoumaru asked while carefully lowering Kagome down.
"Brownies," she chirped while grabbing the cooking spray.
He dipped a finger into the slightly cooled chocolate, tasting the bittersweet liquid.
"You do realize dogs aren't supposed to have chocolate, right?" Kagome couldn't help but grin, once again pleased with another jab at his bloodline.
"And you realize I'm still a full-blooded demon, right?"
"Who happens to be a dog."
"Who is also powerful enough to have regrown an arm."
"Ah. Right. Fine, you can have some chocolate, but if you get sick, don't expect me to take care of you, Mr. Mighty Powerful Full-Blooded Demon with a New Arm."
"Aw, pouty puppy. …Alright, stop glaring at me."
Kagome sat crisscrossed in bed while telling Sesshoumaru about her day. He acted like he wasn't paying attention, but Kagome knew he enjoyed listening to her idle chatters. She started to tell him about how her mother called earlier to invite them to dinner next weekend when she noticed him lifting his shirt up a bit, making her catch sight of his lower abdomen. She didn't even notice she had stopped talking until Sesshoumaru spoke up.
"Your mother invited us to dinner?"
She snapped out of her daze. "Oh, um, yeah," she murmured, almost salivating at the sight of her lover's perfectly sculpted abdomen. "Next Saturday at six. She wants us to come by early and chat a bit before dinner. Just a heads up, but Grandpa might try to exorcise you…again."
He sighed to himself before taking his shirt off completely. He proceeded to walk to the en suite bathroom, barely aware of Kagome's pout.
As she waited for him to return, Kagome couldn't help but ponder whether he enjoyed belly rubs. She smiled mischievously to herself, reasoning that she needed to test out her theory that if he enjoyed ear scratches, then belly rubs were probably another secret love of his.
About seven minutes later, Sesshoumaru returned—still shirtless, Kagome noticed enthusiastically—and getting ready to climb into bed. He sat on the edge of the bed adjusting the alarm on his phone when Kagome snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Sesshoumaru?" She started all innocent and hiding her true motive.
"Yes?" He had finished setting up his alarm when he noticed several text messages from business associates, Inuyasha, and one from his mother complaining about how he never voluntarily visit her without a personal agenda.
"Sesshoumaru," she said again while casually scratching one of his ears.
"Yes?" he repeated, almost purring.
"Do you enjoy belly rubs?"
"What?" He turned his head to stare at Kagome and noticed just how serious she was. He scowled, realizing this was another one of her harebrained ideas.
"It's important, so answer truthfully."
"No," he barked at her. "Get off me, I'm going to bed."
"Aw, who's a grumpy puppy?"
"What? You like ear scratches, so…" Her voice trailed off as her hand found its way under the cover to travel up and down his abdomen. She was grinning from ear to ear as she tested her theory.
Sesshoumaru started to protest, but he closed his eyes, initially to tune her out but then he began groaning softly, clearly enjoying the feeling of his lover's soft hand on his body.
She decided to add ear scratches to her list of task, and noticed with delight how calm and compliant he was. "You know, you're much more attractive now that you're not trying to kill me, or you know…Inuyasha."
Sesshoumaru's eyes opened, and he glared at her again before snapping, "I thought I told you to never mention that name in the bedroom."
"Be nice, my mother also invited him to dinner, too."
"What?" Sesshoumaru sat up immediately and gave her a glare that practically dared her to repeat that comment to him again.
With the knowledge that he enjoyed ear scratches, belly rubs, among other things, Kagome thought nothing of his heated glares. She repeated her earlier comment with ease, adding, "She likes Inuyasha. So does Souta. Grandpa may try to exorcise him too. Anyway, be nice, or I'm telling Inuyasha all your dirty little secrets."
Sesshoumaru gave her another glare before he lay down, turning his back to her while pulling most of the cover closer to him.
"Make me," she said, giving his ear another stroke before kissing his cheek. She squealed with delight when he turned around and held her underneath him.
"Who's been a bad girl?"
Kagome gave him a half-hearted glare, but then giggled, "Kagome has been a bad girl." He started to give her an impish grin, but was immediately rebuffed by her when she shoved him off of her. "Down, boy. I'm mad at you for being mean to Inuyasha."
He groaned while giving her another dirty look for mentioning that name to him again. "Must you use his name?"
"Well, how else should I refer him?"
She gaped. "I will not call him that!"
"I don't ask you for much, but the one thing I've asked is for you to never mention his name in our bedroom."
"Well, what? Every time I need to talk about him, I'm supposed to drag you out into the middle of the hallway to have a conversation about—well, you-know-who?"
Sesshoumaru stared at her, not blinking. Finally, he gave her a response that even she was unprepared for, "Yes."
Kagome shook her head disapprovingly, and then she hissed, "No belly rubs."
Sesshoumaru smirked, not particularly caring about her threat.
"And no ear scratches."
"I made you a treat," Kagome said, presenting him with a tray of bone-shaped sugar cookies.
"Is this a joke?" Sesshoumaru asked, not particularly pleased with her sense of humor, but also wanting one of the cookies.
"Who's a good boy?"
"Say it, or I'm giving them all to Inuyasha."
He remained quiet, determined not to give in to her childish teasing, but the delectable sweet scent of sugar and vanilla wafting in his direction was just too tempting to ignore.
"I'm a good boy," he said in a low, almost sulking tone. He continued to glower in the middle of the kitchen even after Kagome stuck a cookie in his mouth and proceeded to put the rest away. As he stood there with the cookie half-dangling out of his mouth, he contemplated about all of the years that somehow led to him being so compliant and less prone to slashing people's throats at the slightest annoyance. He wanted to blame Inuyasha. He was sure Inuyasha was at fault somehow. It was definitely Inuyasha's fault.
Sesshoumaru was too absorbed with his own self-loathing and silently blaming Inuyasha that he failed to notice Kagome was giggling at his odd oblivious behavior. He blinked in surprise when she whirled around, stood on her tiptoes, and bit off the opposite end of the cookie that was still sticking out of his mouth. She grinned, slowly earning the same response from him.
He decided he was fine with Kagome's puppy treatment.
So long as Inuyasha never found out about it.